Someone give me courage please... give me courage to leave. Or at
least give me hope... give me hope that there'll be a good ending to
this...

I just feel rather depressed, but I don't really know how to put it.
Sometimes I feel that all I do for him, it's worth it, cos it's all for him.
But at times, I feel that I'm so dumb and stupid, to do so much for
him, for something that is uncertain, for something that might hit
me hard again, for maybe, nothing. I'm just... dumb.

All along I have been having nightmares, but on one of these recent
nights, the opposite happened... It was great, it was exactly what
I've wanted all along. BUT, it just sucks to wake up and realise tt
it's all a dream. And yes, only in a dream there can be such beautiful
images.

LOADS OF CRAP...