hi ! hees . it was a lovely christmas ! although i did not spend alot of time w darling . i really love our christmas celebration . (:

anyway, this was how it went . firstly we went to jack's place to have our xmas set lunch haha . he had roasted turkey while i had my favourite ribeye's steak ! woots .. i love my medium rare steak . it was rather delicious . haha . and cheap . hmm . the set lunch cost 18.20 each . and then we had this mini chocolate log cake which was v nice ! it's chocolate, u know ! after which, we ordered a side dish, prawn with mango cocktail . it was blehh ... i din quite like it la . lol .

i had a pleasant surprise, a reali pleasant one (: . while eating, darling took out the xmas present for me . hees . i reali din expect it la ! lol . cos he kept insisting tt i shld not buy any present for him . hmm . so after dinner i went home while he went for his family gathering . finally i got to open the present . hahs . was a jigsaw puzzle with a personal message from him ! and also , there was a pixie necklace (: . i reali love it . (:

i am so so so happy !!!!!!!!

anyway i'm at work now . gtg and serve more demanding customers !!!!!!!! bye !

-(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:-

today's sunday !! and i can finally slack at home . haha . tml is mon, christmas eve . my long awaited gathering w my m'sia frens is nearing !! but only one of them is coming over i guess . tml he'll be coming over w his dad . haha . i reali miss them !!! (:

anyway, tml i have to work full day ! hmm . nvm . for the sake of money ... LOL . tues i'm gg out w darling !!! hees but i reali duno where to go for a wonderful lunch . hmm any suggestions ?? lol .

yst i just went cs hair spa w chris . goodness me . it costs me 45bucks for wash, cut and blow !! at least i like my hair . haha . lol . i MITE be gg there to highlight my hair next time . hmm ... chris wanted to perm her hair but the hair stylist said her hair too short and thick. if permed, will not be nice . so she had her hair done - bob hair . plus highlight . highlight was 90bucks and treatment was 30 . so she spent 120bucks in total ! hmm . but i reali like the service there . v nice and spacious . the design is not bad . the hair-washing skills are good too . they dun use their nails to scratch ur scalp , they use their finger tips . and the massaging was reali good . no shoulder aches or anything after tt . haha . i would reali wana go there again . IF I HAVE THE MONEY . (:

i'm gg to do some house work now ! hahs . tml gg to work again . so fast ! lol . haha . ok gtg . bye ! ((:

-wonderful lunch!-

i'm back from work . tml is finally saturday ! i'm tired . today jus met w one sick customer . he tried to touch my hand !!!! eek ! disgusting sicko . den he kept asking me the same qns OVER and OVER again . so pissed off !!! i used the officer's method : "jus now we have already discussed abt this" .. but he jus cant stop . i said at least ten times of tt phrase . and F ! he started throwing mi qns like "so are you studying or working now?" like DUH ?! i'm working la ! is he talking to air ??!! "waiting for results isit ? what results?" . i was so damn freaked out by tt sicko . and i attended to Janica's customer and ignored him for a moment . after which, i quickly called for the next customer and TA DA ! he finally go away . SICK !!! everywhere i work i meet w this kinda sicko !!

today i still din get to meet him . it's almost 2 wks and i reali miss him . especially after yst . hopefully nothing goes wrong so we can meet tml as planned . shall think over the situation my officer proposed . it mite work . who knows !! ha . i don't know . for me, i follow my heart . and my heart tells mi i stil love him v much and is not at all ready to let him go .

jus hope tt he can accede to my request and tt both of us can reali cherish one another . one last chance, i should say . I REALI CHERISH THAT ONE LAST CHANCE . i hope he cherish tt too .

he is wonderful .

someone tt has left a great impact in my life .
someone so real .
someone so beautiful .
someone i wud never wana let go of.
someone whom i will always be there for.
someone whom i need.
someone that cheers me up.
someone who knows me.
someone so special.
someone whom i love most thruout my life .
someone whom i really love.

you are my everything .

-"i really like you alot"-

it's been one week since i blogged . hmm . well, lots of things happened i guess . hais . it's reali sad . ):

it's reali hard to let go . and i dun wan to let go . cos the feelings are real . my heart is bleeding . and i reali din noe what to do . cud it be my fault ? cud it be tt i'm the one who not understanding enough ? i reali don't know . all those things tt he said made mi cried so much . not becos it's hurting . it's becos it's deep from his heart . i was touched . at tt moment, i realised, i'm not at all ready to let go . ):

i hope we can give each other one more chance . i hope things will turn out fine (: and i'm sure it will .

i love him so much .

-dun wana let u go-

firstly, i'm here to say i'm reali sorry . mind or flesh ? which is worse ? i think flesh is worse but mind is bad enuff .

jus an eye candy . although he's reali hot and nice . and decent, i reali do still love my bf . so . no . i'll still stick w darling and not let him down again . he doesnt noe but i jus feel guilty tt he's psychologically betrayed by mi . jus hope tt he will treat mi better (: hah .

tml's last day of work for the week (: cheers . but darling cant acc mi for lunch ): . next time . next time . .... i reali miss you ! (:

- a man is not who he is.
a man is who he is not. -

hey ! i'm back (: after a few days . haha . i'm rather bz w work nowadays . lol . tiring i should say . meeting w all sorts of customers and all . URGH . but for the sake of my salary, i shall bear w it ! (: hahaha . sad thing is none of my frens are working w mi there . if not, it'll be better ! haha . but my colleagues are all v nice and some hot and cute ones . haha . reali nice knowing them . well, my contract ends on 29 feb . hope i get used to it and the CSO is happy w my performance so much tt i can extend my contract . hahah .

something dreadful happened today which i would most probably not talk abt it here . it's jus so bad u see . and confidential somehow . hais . but i'll jus have to say tt i'm reali sorry and i feel really bad abt it . ):

anyway, regarding me and him . sometimes i wonder this and wonder tt . and i tot . m i thinking too much ? well, gals are like tt i guess . had a quarrel tt day . sigh . things are rather ok now . had a talk w my colleague . and realised tt my relationship w him doesnt seem fruitful . m i really thinking too much - tt's the prob . how long have tt been ? ... since he told me that few words ...

whatever ! i shall jus let nature takes its course . if reali things cant work out, then i'll jus have to go tt way . i still hope tt things can turn out well . and i reali wish tt i'll be the one seeing him thru his NS days and be there for him always . let's see how things go . well, i still have my frens who can always lend mi their shoulders if things reali turn out bad ! haha ((:

alright . i gtg . (: till then !

- the future is bleak -

today is like . hmm . tired . i guess it has been so long since i woke up so early . i meant yst waking up early la . cos of work . so i'm feeling rather tired today . gosh . lots of things to do . and buy . and i'm goin to be so broke . urgh . yeah . gg out w darling on sunday . (: i guess i'll jus buy another set of office wear and a pair of heels . but i've only got $56 left for next week . damn it . why am i so poor ! *#@&%#*&! i'll see how it goes . hai . maybe have to borrow . i dun like tt . urgh .

today is MUGGING day ! haha . i'll try to memorise all those package stuff . lol ! dun reali understand why am i deployed to the main branch . hmm . but still, at least it's not inaccessible . jus tt i have to wake up earlier and walk a longer distance . and squeeeeeezzzzeee with all those ppl in the extremely crowded train . it's the peak hours . oh man . i hate crowded places . and during lunchtime i have to walk to the nearest hawker centre . and similarly, lunch hours, CROWDED ! lol . hahaha .

ok gonna go do some housework and finally MUG ! haha . (: bye !

- set . i'm sticking with you ! ((: -

hey !!! today is my first day of work !! hahaha (: well . today is just training and briefing on all those packages coming up for the ppl . so we jus sat there thruout and listened attentively to what the trainer has to say . i jus have to say tt . there's alot to rmb and i think the benefits are quite good . LOL . ALOT TO RMB . these 2 days, i have to read and read and read the stack of notes which is like ard 2 inch thick . haha .

the bad thing is i'm not posted to JE !!! haiya . how i hope i can be posted there , cos darling is working ard tt area too and it'll be easier to meet up . BUT !! i'm posted to the main branch instead . and worse still . i tot if i was posted to the main branch, i will be doing the call centre thing . but i'm to do the counter thing . haiya ! duno what to say .... anyway, we go this professional name . customer service officer . LOL !! haha . tt's funny . but i guess it'll be easier for us to look for jobs in the future (: .

we're all supposed to be in office wear when we report to work . hmm . so have to spend on tt . and u noe what ?! i'm wearing court shoes and it bit me !!! urgh . i had plaster on and it bled . it was painful .... f-painful . during lunchbreak we went to amoy street hawker centre . ALOT of ppl . my goodness . and there i see the typical s'pore trademark - reserving seats with the use of a tiny packet of tissue . hahah .

ok . we started work from 8.30 up till 5.30, excluding lunchbreak, 8 hrs in total . not bad . hees . i'm reporting for my on-job training on mon . i'm kinda freaked out cos after my cashiering experience in the past, i kinda dislike CUS service . but still, i'll give it all out to do my best for this job (: . i'll try and see if i can be deployed to JE . let's see . god bless me - i don't wana meet any especially-difficult-to-handle customers . hahs . good luck to all those working ! woots ! ................ (:

-happy 4th ! i still love
you so much (: -

boo ! i'm back . LOL . from interviews . haha . yst i went to a CPF interview thing . well, today i got a call from my consultant saying tt i'm selected ! woosh ... haha . it's like SUPER fast . tml i'm starting my trg . n work starts on monday . hah . finally i got a job (: . but have to spend money on office wear . well, i've decided to go to those cheap cheap shop to get my office wear . i jus bought a blouse for 10bucks ! and the skirt there costs only 9bucks . my goodness i'm so gg to get there again . hahas .

yst, this sickening ex of mine sms mi again . i should say he's MAD . DESPERATE and not in the right state of mind ! my goodness . he wants me to leave my current bf in order to be w him . he's reali insane . he just doesnt understand what it meant tt things are no longer the same . there's no way i'm gg to leave my bf . even if i'm single, i'll not go back to him . once bitten, twice shy..

can anyone jus tell me why are there such desperate ppl in the world ? this is madness . and that incident lead to some arguments btwn me n my bf . luckily everything's fine now . hees . hope tt i can shop w him on sunday for our office wear (: .

not much to blog about for the time being ... BYE !! (:

- i'll always be by ur side
until the day u choose
to leave me -

there's nothing much to blog about recently . exam's over, and cant talk abt exams . lol . now i think we're all jus slacking and some finding a job but stil slacking at the moment . hmm . well well well . i dun noe if i should crash the prom on tues . hais . when i think of this, i fell super sian . lol

can u imagine . out of sch for half a yr . and worse still for guys, 2 yrs . NS guys tend to feel rather lonely i guess . since i heard from some . esp when they have nothing to do, they will think and think and miss alot of ppl . LOL . well, there's a reason why they pass FHM and MAXIM ard ! hahaha .

alright i'm crapping . i duno what else to say . LOL . till then . (when i have something to say)

- it's been a long time
since i heard it ): -

i'm TIRED . LOL . today is housekeeping day . i have to pack the house n all . clean my wardrobe . etc etc . i'm reali tired . i guess i'm taking up the raffles job .

i'm sad . i reali am . but i duno what to say and duno what to do . sometimes, maybe singlehood is better . commitment sometimes hurt too much . i don't want to be hanging mid-air, right there, where i'm nobody . maybe it's time to let go .

-i really miss you-

weeeeee !!!!!!!!!!!!! exam's OVER !!!! yea yea yea ! hahaha . LOL . i was so looking forward to this . but when this day comes, i'm feeling rather bored . LOL . now looking for work . my aunt found ni one and i think i'll take it for the time being since the office side doesnt nid any part-timers for the time being . hmm . so i'll jus tend the raffles shop . although the pay isnt v high la . hmm .

gg to highlight my hair next weds for free . cos my uncle's wife does hairdressing . LOL . still thinking should i dye and highlight . hmm. let's c ... then yst i spend the rest of my day after the paper packing my room !! it's clean now ok !!! lol . FINALLY u see .

den just now just went out w zhen ying and khim . i missed them so much !! lol . haha . we jus walked ard and had lunch and chill out at some cafe and had a lil chat . it's reali nice to catch up w one another after so long . i'm happy for zy tt she has such a winderful bf . haha . as for khim, i think she'll find her mr right too !! (:

tml gg to pack my wardrobe and also pack the house . LOL . so much things to do ! haha . den sunday gg to visit my grandmother at redhill ! it's been a long time since we got there . den mon i have got class dinner at marina south ! hees . den i'm thinking whether i should crash the prom on tues cos i dun have money to get clothes !! and before prom we can play mahjong . LOL . but nothing's confirm YET . but the class dinner is confirmed . (:

hmm . alright i'm reali tired after all the walking and all . i should go rest and continue playing my games ! hees . weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee .................................

-i miss you so-

weeeeee !!!!!! it's two more days to freedom !! haha ! i'm so fcuking happy . LOL . LOTS of things to do after a's . SOOOOOOOO many ppl to meet . have already tried to meet up w my besties . most prob next wk . hmm . (: then also i have to look for a job ! my damn bro said he wanted to help me ask for info at a company he once worked for . BUT . he has not done so TILL NOW ! lol . shucks i guess i jus nida ask my aunt abt the raffles hotel thing . hmm.

anyway, back to the papers . well, bio p3 was rather ok . i should say i'm v lucky AGAIN . haha . the day before i was reali mugging for bio ok . i wanted to give up on certain details but i'm lucky i did not . or else i was so gg to die yst . the viral and non-viral delivery methods, i studied and memorised like mad . LOL . luckily it came out . one thing tt i'm jus so pissed about myself is the qns on the endangered species thing . after the exam den i know how to ans . and i think my ans to tt qns is v good . DAMN it . 5 marks . SH*T .

after the exam, i tot .. gel electrophoresis for tt qns . and how to differentiate wild ones and those inbred captives ones ? jus look at the bands la ! 1 band-> wild type cos in mendel we learnt tt wild type is homozygous therefore only 1 band !! 2 bands -> inbred lor !! higher prob of having heterozygotes . dun u think this ans is good ? i should go and bang my head against the wall . hais . nvm 5 marks gone . let's hope the reat i did, i got most of the marks . i should get most of the marks i think ... given tt those PPL dun do too well, i should be doing ok for bio . now left with bio p1 . hmm !! haha .

yst went to lavender to acc someone renew his passport and we went to bugis and realised it's under renovation . like .. HUH . hungry ma . so we went to xin yuan ji to have fish head noodles and coconut juice while he had his pork ribs rice . hahs . the soup is heavenly man . sweet and ru wei ! i wana go there again !

anyway, i'm broke ! reali reali broke ! those who wana meet up w mi shall either jus meet up for a chat which doesnt nid much money ... LOL . and jus treat mi ! haha . LOL . alright man . i gotta start packing my room !! (:

-knowing you has made me happy
in a million ways . if ever i have to
let you go, i would find a million
reasons to make you stay..-

it's 8 more days to the end of a'lvls ! haha . cant wait for it to end actually . but i'm gona be so broke after tt . cos i have to save money to buy new clothes for work and so on . and also . i nid to save money to sign up for a new line . moreover, there are tonnes of ppl that i have to meet up with . TONNES . and i have only got around one week to do it . cos i wana rest for a week onli den start to work .

today is my happiest day !!! becos my MOST HATED subject is over and out of my mind ! haha . yea yea yea !!!! lol . i'm left with chem p1, bio p3 and bio p1 in seq . p1 shouldn't be a prob . but i jus wana do very well for bio p3 . cos i'm banking so much on bio . i wana memorise everything . at least if i do, my essay is done . (: let's all not slacken and work even harder for the remaining papers .

today's paper was easier den i expected although it's my most hated paper . lol . i feel a sense of accomplishment cos i finally finished the whole paper including the essay !! and i can ans all the questions . YEAH !! cheers . (: i'mr eali lucky and hope the luck follows me thru the remaining papers . and hey, marcus's luck reali does wonders . hahas . he gave mi some of his jus before he paper . haha .

yst's paper was chem p2 . ok, not bad . i also managed to finish the paper . which i think i should be able to do quite ok . hope i get at least a C or B for chem . HOPEFULLY . bio i dare not say first cos there's stil p3 . hmm . luck luck luck ! i needs lots of LUCK !!! everyone wish me good luck pls ! hahaha .

had a drink with mich, ms tan and gw today at cwp at sweet talk . ms tan blanja us lor . LOL !!!! and if i get CCCDD or what, can apply to be a teacher . hahaha . lol . primary sch teacher !! LOL . haha . anyway, tml is his geo paper . reali hope he do well too !!! (: he definitely can do it since he's much more hardworking den mi ! (: and he's smart ! hahaha . (:

alright man . left with 3 papers and den FREEDOM !!! i wana work and get a new laptop, new clothes, new mp3, new shoes !! wow . hahaha . hope i can get one at least $1500 per month .

ok . gotta go now . bye !!

-yes ! econs's over !-

hey hey hey . haha . it's tues !!! yeah ! bio p2 is over and math p2 is over ! yeah . (: i'm happy happy happy !! bio p2 is easy BUT due to it being easy, it will be very hard to score . hmm . but i'm v pleased with my performance already . hees . u noe . when the examiner say " it's 8 am, u can start the paper now" . wa i was like mad lor . almost str8 away i wrote the ans for qns 1 . lol . i did quite fast i think . considering how much time i took for prelims . i never completed my paper. but this is the first time i finished my paper . LOL !!! and the essay was a BOOSTER ! lol . guessed correctly . Lac operon . my favourite ! lol . and the structured qns are rather manageable . hees . i think my ans were rather sound . lol . had like 10min extra to check my paper .

math is ok too . i'm reali happy today . math i onli left out about 6marks . and my fav PnC and prob came out 20marks !! we were jus talking abt it before the exam . lol . pure math was ok but i mental block, so stupid ! cant do the matrix qns ! my goodness . lol . but i wrote the simultaneous eqn and the matrices . hopefully there's like 2 marks out of 6 ?? hmm . the rest was ok . distribution was also ok . infact not alot of qns on distribution also . i should be able to get my overall B for math . IF and i say IF moderation isnt that bad and those i did were mostly right . hmm .

anyway, i should say i am realli lucky . seriously . most of the things tt come out, i happen to know . i dun noe if i will stil be this lucky for the rest of the other papers . i hope i am !! lol . econs . WTH . i jus cant do econs for nuts . LOL . will stil do my best for econs . hahs .

alright . i am waiting to rest since a few days ago . since i am a week away from my next paper, i guess i should be able to afford to rest for today . (:

-still happy !!-

it's monday ! 5th nov . wow . time really flies . i'm like 17 days away to freedom ! haha . yea . as for the papers, so far so good . tml is havoc . bio p2 and math p2 . my goodness . i'm afraid of bio p2 !! duno why, i'm not so worried abt math p2 . but still, i'm worried .

finally, i survived thru my nightmare, which is the chem p3 today ! yes i'm happy . i think i did rather well for tt paper comparing to how i did for prelims . luckily the things i studied did come out . haha . and special thanks to darling . order of reaction - it'll never be out of my head again . cos he's like always testing mi the definition every now and then . and it came out !! haha . he's patient and nice . reali . cant imagine someone could actually stand my stupidity for chem . i must say, becos of him, my chem improved . haha . thank you so much !!!!!! i will reali keep to my words to make it up to you (:

GP i was lucky wat i studied came out . math p1 was .. hmm . manageable, but relative to those rj ppl, i think i will only manage to get a D . shit . tt's why i have to do very well for p2 . dun care . i must do well !! PnC and prob ! haha . hypothesis testing . these few are my stronger topics . (: finally after tml's paper can rest abit . ABIT . lol .

after tml's paper, i gotta pack my room, pack my house n everything . it's reali messy. especially when it's the exam period . notes all over the floor . LOL . have to pack up to get ready for VIP arrival . haha .

i should say darling has been very nice to me recently . it's funny . actually i expected him to neglect me during this exam period. but instead, he is caring abt me more . haha . it's a good thing !!!! he's gg to be enlisted in apr . pros and cons . the earlier he's enlisted, the earlier he will come out rite ? but after a's if enlistment is not so early, he can spend time working too . haha . hmm . well, i reali hope we can last for a long long time and hope i will be able to see him thru his NS period . just hope tt he have enough trust in me . (: look at one of my past entries haha . blogthings - cheating risk is ZERO ok ?! haha . LOL .

alright . gotta go mug for bio and math !!!! good luck to ME !!!! and him . haha . (:

-i'm HAPPY!-

yst was mich's bdae . haha . lol . she funny sia . i think she was very surprised . LOL !!! joy fake her tt she will not be coming to singapore as her dad will not be coming out of m'sia . mich believe lor !!! tt's part of our plan . hahahah . den i purposely talk to her online on sunday to make her believe tt i'll be staying at home and not going to sch or wherever to study . haha .

so the next day, which is yst, i met joy at sembawang early in the morning and went to buy a slice of blackforest cake and also bacardi breezer for her . since she's already legal . lol . i should be honoured tt the person wanted to check my IC as this means tt i dun look old !!! hahaha . LOL . tt's funny . hmm . den off we go to mich's house ! woots .....

it's rather surprising i still rmb how to get to her house . initially i was afraid i will get the way wrong . but hey . i realised my sense of direction is not tt bad anyway !! tt day went to look for him to study, i also rmb how to get to his place . lol . ok tt's not the main point. haha . joy n i went up to her house and was outside her flat looking into her house . we heard some noises and tot it was her mum in the kitchen doing some chores . so i called her on the phone . i called for damn long den she ansed ! we still saw her running from the kitchen towards the room to ans the call . haha .

den i said " where are you? "

she replied " at home la "

i said : " come and open the door now! "

what was upcoming was terrifying ! haha . lol . she "HUH?!?!?!" until the opposite flat can hear her la !!! she came to the door with the face red like tomato man . and kept saying " OH MY GOD ! " haha . she was reali surprised ! haha . we got her a shirt too . glad tt she liked it . and i bet she liked the bacardi too ! haha . so we sang her a birthday song and she ate the cake and there we go, studying till 4 plus . but we talked quite alot la . LOL . so tt's it for mich's bdae !! (: next yr cannot do this again, will no longer be a surprise anymore . hmm . will think again when the time comes ! LOL .

he is starting his paper today ! and mind you, GP is tml. n i'm like fcuking unprepared . wth . it may seem to ppl tt i've done alot of reading but i noe it myself tt i have not . SHIT . jus do all that i can for the remaining time and yup, the rest is up to fate . LOL . today is also our 3rd month . quite fast huh ? 3 months passed since my bdae . lol . i'm actually stoning now . like wth . haha . alright i better get started with my GP ! woots !...........

- 23 more days
and back to
you and me (: -

i've planned out the time table for the upcoming days of "the battle with a'levels" . haha . lol .lots n lots of stuff to do . hope i will do well . this is what i hope to get . B for GP, A for bio, B for math, C for chem and D for econs . hope i can !!!

apparently, my chem is very very lousy . my goodness . i can imagine how stupid he must be thinking i am tt day when i asked him those chem qns . hahaha . i'm jus so stupid la . i reali cant do chem for nuts !!!!! i reali dislike chem . but i must say that becos of him, it made me somehow being a lil more interested in chem as compared to before . if it's not becos of him , i think i will not even improve the least for my chem . LOL !!!!! so i must study hard for chem too . must not waste my effort and everyone's effort for helping mi with my chem .

crap . feel like studying outside tml becos . at home, i will wake up very very late . ard 11plus . LOL !! den lots of time will be wasted when i eat slowly and when slack n slack, watch a bit of tv and all . so it's better if i go outside for studying . hmm .

ok tt's it . this stupid com always DC !!! urgh .....

-3 more days to a's
and 25 more days to
freedom !! (: -

oh no . lol . i din study much today and i'm watching soccer now . goodness . ltr i'm gg to study again . not gg to do papers but to really study the notes . siao man i think i'm mad . i'm not feeling the urgency to study even though a's is like jus 4 days away. for some ppl it's like tt . when exams get nearer, we do not study but slack . but we study when exam is not so near . sylvia is like tt . n i'm abit like that too . goodness . better study now, no matter what .

feeling quite happy now when i tot of being able to help those cambodian kids . hmm . i searched for my stuff earlier this afternoon and i found 1 whole box of erasers which belonged to my brothers . haha . you know those erasers tt those guys like to play during pri sch . then they'll play this game where they use their thumb to flip the eraser over n whoever loses, will pay the price by giving the winner tt eraser . haha . those erasers with national flags on top . well, ROONEY JUST SCORED !!! woots .. lol . that's so out of a sudden . haha .

den i got 1 doraemon pen which smells quite nice when written . n i found the 11 in 1 games , which is rather compact n hope tt they will like it . and some of my hair rubber bands which are new . haha . hope all of this gets to them soon . so excited . (: lol . it feels happy to do something nice . hope i get to help these ppl first-hand next time . OCIP seems enriching ..

recently having some thoughts in my head . i realised tt i pity her . lol . but i haven forgiven her . cos no matter ppl did her wrong or what, we know tt we did not do her ANY wrong . she is the one tt let us down and said that she was the one who was always being backstabbed . LOL . i pity her becos she is actually being backstabbed by someone closer to her . but she's still v wrong to let us down . i dont care what she do outside with other guys or whatsoever . she can do whatever she wans, give ppl false hopes, f or anything ! if i were still her fren, i would advise her . but that would not break our friendship . what broke our friendship is the things she said tt totally let us down . so sad and too bad . you were the cause of this .

-thinking ALOT-

goodness me . it's like 4days to a's ! oh my god . i'm freaking scared . ): for him it's worse . he got 3 more days ! and on tues, how nice, his phy paper and our 3rd month anniversary at the same time . woots... that's fast . 3 months since my bdae . but i think he will forget but it's ok . cos studies is more important rite now . everything can wait till after a's . (:

yst went studying with him . lol . i was so so so freaking tired . i was retarded yst . was slow in reaction n everything . hahaha . i do chem until i wana cry already . i cant do chem for nuts !! LOL !!! n tt mac was freaking cold ..... woots but i managed to survive thru it and sat there for like 4hrs plus ?! my butt hurts . HAHAHA .. tt's funny . everyone is tired la .. as long as we did study n all, we will be feeling quite tired by now . except for certain ppl who seem not to be studying much... LOL .

these few days not gg to sch already . wana maximise time to study at home ! unless it's studying outside, i dont mind . haha . not gg to do anymore papers ! gotta study the notes and all n strengthen my foundation ! good luck everyone and especially to my beloved . (:

we can do it !!!!!!!!!

-THREE more days!-

i'm in school right now with ying . after talking and arguing with cal yst, i'm v v tired . i'm pissed ! he's acting like worse den a woman . oh pls . i really duno what to say . NO ONE and reali NO ONE, including her, can knock any sense into him . what he's doing now isnt showing her any respect and also not showing himself any respect. hey . I'M REALI PISSED . cb ... i reali wonder when he'll stop . maybe gg taiwan is a good thing for him as he can take time to "heal his wound" and forget about her . i reali duno what else to say but all the best man . tmd ..

i'm using the com for awhile den ltr gg to study my vectors again . actually i realised complex no isn't tt complex, it's quite easy and the questions are quite standardised . LOL . next up is vectors . i reali nid to master vectors in these 9 days' time . omfg . wish mi luck . i haven study bioand chem seriously . i realised tt . shit . gotta start ! tml will start studying bio and chem . URGH it sucks . a'levels sucks . it's a hell of shit .

oh well, i can see that mich is super stressed now . look at her entries and u'll noe . she's like fcuking all the way thruout her entry . oh my ... lac mich . one more month to FREEDOM ... (:
let's all work hard for one more month !

-mug like mad!-

to others, it sounds like i had a productive day doing my revision and all. but i don't think it has been a rather productive day for me . yesterday i finish reading broader perspective and did math. den today i did nyjc math and now gg to do srjc math . gg to do more ltr . will study vectors, complex no, and probability. tml gg to meet him and do all these topics on the tys. all the way !!!!! (:

anyway i have convinced myself to stop thinking abt negative stuff regarding him cos i realised tt although he can neglect and ignore me for a day or two, he will still call after awhile to show tt he care. right now, i just need to be more understanding. (:

let's all study hard now (:

-i understand-

loads of consultation coming up . i'm working hard . so is he . and i bet he'll do well . talked to vin yesterday . he said at this point of time, i should be more understanding towards him . yup agreed . am i understanding enough? i don't know.

anyway, just wana say that i have nothing against christians. the only thing is that i hate people who can't stop preaching, THAT'S ALL . thought about it. if really in the future, my husband is a christian, i would convert too. and wilson said that time that if anyone wants to convert, we must convert for the right reasons. yup . i'm in quite a thinking mode today.

don't know why i talked about this anyway . lol . today i'm gg to finish reading the GP broader perspective. and practise math again . and i don't intend to touch economics yet . until the week before that paper. we have exactly one week to study for it . hmm. yup .

miss cheong said chem paper is not as difficult as our school paper. that means i've got hope ! a C for chem is not bad anyway. lol . if my bio is A and math is B la . LOL .

tt's it. off to study. joy is studying now. i should study too !

-i am studious-

hey . it's been a long long time since i blogged. anyway, a'levels is really near right now. it's like 11 days away. i'm so screwed. but i'll just do the best that i can. and if things really go bad next march, i'll just have to retake a'levels as a private candidate. BUT according to ms tan, hai ... have to retake SPA too, if we retake a's. omfg . HOW ... and it's really a waste if i don't do well this time. this year the marking will be more lenient as there is a syllabus change. haiya.. super duper sian now..

spent some time changing my blogskin. hmm. don't know why. i'm feeling rather contemptous now. what the hell . i'm having mixed feelings suddenly. i don't know. maybe because my period is drawing near and a's too. although i did study and done my work and stuff like that, i have totally no confidence of doing well. i'll just have to continue pratising my math-vectors especially- and also do some chemistry. biology i have to study harder and be more meticulous when attempting questions. i realised that i have always been misreading or missing out certain parts of the questions. i am aim for an A in bio . lol . the rest, i don't know. A B C D is not bad. lol . or A B C C and a B or C in general paper. work hard !!

as usual. i'm afraid to face what is coming after a's. i don't know. what if .. i really don't know. but i already gave him my word that i believe that things will be back to normal after a's . so i should stop thinking so much. yup. (:

thanks ying for being there to listen to my grievances . HAHAHA . lol . i will always be there for you too. your LIANG CHA will take some time though. haha . opps . (:

-when will you say you love me again?-

yesterday you spend half the time u spent with me
talking on the phone. it's ok. maybe there was something
important. also, you irritated me by talking about her,
in a way that i feel you care more about her than
you care about me.
fine.

today, i joined you in the library.
soon, you went off, without asking if i'm going home too.
i wanted to, actually. but you never realised.
not even a question from you. the only words from you
were "i go off first". you couldn't even sense abit of my
feelings. even your friend was more concerned about me,
asking if i was going home. something struck me.
aren't you supposed to be the one asking that?

again, i'm going to say the same old phrase "i don't know".
i don't know if you still care.
i don't know anything.
i'm jus afraid ..

----------supposedly yesterday's post----------------------

it all nearly ended last night.
that caused my eyes to look weird today.
you should know my feelings have never faded
but i don't know about yours.
but since you said everything is still the same,
i shall believe you.

i can put in more effort for you and also for myself to study
harder for the remaining 50days to the end of a's.
i'm just afraid..
afraid that after these 50days
either you will want to end it all
or you would still treat me like this.
now i have another reason to dread a'levels.
i'm afraid to face it.
i'm afraid to face the aftermath.

i don't think i can take another blow.
i don't know.
i really don't.

-i hope to be back
to my cheerful self,
too. i miss you badly-

1. (the person who tagged you is) - wencong ?

2. (your relationship with him/her is) - Secondary school friends.

3. (5 impressions you have of him/her) - manchester united, super smart, math, soccer, brotherly

4. (the most memorable thing he/she has done for you) - hmm .. did he ?? i forgot !

5. (the most memorable words he/she has said to you) - Hey how have you been doing? Read that you are having exams now, so I wish you the best for exams and in advance for A Levels as well. :p

6. (if he/she becomes your lover, you will) - erm . i'm attached now, so it's kinda impossible tt it'll happen . moreover, he said tt he will never woo mi ! haha . (:

7. (if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be) - maybe to be a lil more talkative ?? mayb i dun talk to him tt much . tt's why . heh ..

8. (if he/she becomes your enemy, you will) - impossible la !

9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be) - he is too smart tt i cant take it . LOL !

10. (the most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is) - find out who he likes and get them tgt ! he - ah bang means brother ! have to help ! LOL ..

11. (your overall impression of him/her is) - kind and smart .

12. (how you think people around you will feel about you) - lame and hilarious .

13. (the characteristic you love about yourself is) - quite sensitive to other's feelings . (:

14. (the characteristic you hate about yourself is) - i feel like a slug at times . jus lazing there n doing NOTHING .

15. (the most ideal person you want to be is) - myself !

16. (for people that care and like you, say something to them) - love all . and take care !

17. (pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you)

(according to the links)

1. michelle
2. wenxiang
3. htein lin
4. caleb
5. zhenjie
6. vivien
7. weejie
8. marvin
9. kenny
10. elbert


(Who is no.6 having a relationship with?) - vivien is super likeable among guys . but i think she's closer to ... no 9 ? heh ..

(Is no.9 a male or female?) - male . cant u read the name ?? lol .

(If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?) - tt will be interesting !!

(When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?) - quite long ago ..

(What kind of music does no.8 like?) - oh my god . i have no idea !

(Does no.1 has any siblings?) - like yes ? a younger sister .

(Will you woo no.3?) - NO .

(How about no.7 ?) - NO ??

(Is no.4 single?) - i think so .

(What's the surname of no.5?) - chen zhen jie .

(What's the hobby of no.4?) - floorball and inline skating !

(Do no.5 and 9 get along well?) - erm . i think they dont know each other in depth . LOL . they dont talk i guess ..

(Where is no.2 studying at?) - SP !

(Say something casual about no.1) - study hard . until u turn into a MUG . anyway, u v impatient leh !

(Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?) - ahhaha . NO ???!!

(Where does no.9 live?) - yew tee .

(What colour does no.4 like?) - oh my god . i have no idea . maybe black ??

(Are no.5 and 1 best friends?) - like no ? haha .

(Does no.7 like no.2?) - as friends, yes (: no brokeback mountain here !

(How did you get to know no.2?) - from pri to sec sch !! classmates .

(Does no.1 have any pets?) - tortoise !

(Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?) -ahahahaha !!!!!!!!! no comments :x

i dun think i'll be able to blog for the next few days . cos my bro has not paid the bills !!!! alwa ys like tt . always this kuan wan . den tonight the internet shld be cut off . LOL . anyway, i wana make today n tml a PRODUCTIVE day . this is what i have on my list for these 2 days:

econs
outline:
N04#1
N05#4
N06#1
N06#5
N05#5
detailed essay:
N06#4

biology
stem cell tut #6
revise:
application syllabus
evolution
DNA

chemistry
MI paper 2 and 3
revise:
rxn kinetics
organic
maybe inorganic
and electrochem

general paper
either cjc or mjc paper

math
revise and practise:
AP/GP
summation
MI

yeah . i planned what to do already and i'm starting on it after blogging . i hope i can complete it and if i do, i'll be super happy . hahaha . LOL . tml is our 2nd mth and we're gg out to stardeeeeeeeeeee .................. weeeeee woots .... haha . LOL . i think it's a norm to go home like 5plus to 6plus everyday from sch already . consultations and consultations . woots ... tired but absolutely beneficial ! (:

i'm ready for the final lap to A's ! ... vrooooooommmmmmmmm ................................................

-i dont wana give up
let's all do it once and
for all-

today is friday . AND the main thing is time reali flies and i'm like left w 33 days to a's while baby has 32 days left . oh my god . how . i'm panicking now. tt's for sure . isit realistic to aim for a B in math ?? i duno . but i will do that . cos i'm trying hard for math . today ww, tt n me went for math consultation. lol . it was rather fruitful cos we learnt quite afew things . INTEGRATION - i'm beginning to love it . jus now i spent like 2 hours plus in the lib doing the int qns . i realised tt i've improved . at least i'm able to do more qns now . like the one on int xtan-1x ... LOL. ok well ... i feel tt today is a rather productive day tt's y i'm feeling rather happy today . even baby can see it . hahas .

someone got on our nerves and finally tt someone is gone. i'm disappointed at the things she did and said tt made this crack in our friendship- a never mend-able crack . and also disappointed at the same old way she's taking studies as . well, i noe tt it's like a hatred game now btwn us . i jus hope tt we "jin shui bu fan he shui" , meaning having no relations to each other, but as a fren or maybe ex-fren, i'm still hoping tt she'll study. maybe she is studying now but i hope it's studying hard enough . lol . she is gone and we're happy cos everything seems less tense now, which is the best situation for all . cont' to stay away and - yes - we'll all be glad . ppl ask y this n y tt . well, it's hard to explain . but jus tt we're washing our hands off her . i believe one day, somehow, maybe they'll understand .

anyway . my period is reali on time . luckily i got things prepared . woots . hahas . i'm glad it's getting regular, which is a good thing . i reali think guys shld experience this at least once in a lifetime . den they'll understand how we feel . haha . how interesting is tt if tt is reali gg to happen . hmm .... haha .

today we got back econs essay . i got a pathetic 7/25 . however, it was more den i expected, considering the length of my essay . i tot i wud get like a 2 ?? but i was surprised when i got my paper . and there was this para tt reali made mi happy . teacher marked "good!" . wow . FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY J2 ECONS ESSAY, i got these kinda comments . hmm . (: but the overall comments were tt my essay lost focus despite starting off quite well . now, i'm pinning all my hopes on case study . i nida get 31.5/60 at least to pass econs overall . i hope i can . let's pray ...

i'm not dwelling at how bad my results are now . cos i'm moving on. i'm studying . i'm practising . i dun wana waste $432 . and . most imptly . I WANT TO DO WELL . BBBB and a pass for GP ? can i do it ?? yes ! i'm working for it. (:

it's 2nd mth soon . on sunday . i hope he rmbs it . if he dun .. i'll .. strangle him !!!! cos i told him abt it EXPLICITLY . hahas . LOL .

baby, i hope u see this and get reali happy for my target and all . for u'll be happy if i am rite ?? i noe u'll do well soon . let's study hard . love you . ((:

-it's up to u
whether u want to make
a heaven out of a hell
or
take it as
a hell out of a heaven-

i'm so moody . lol . haha . i have serious mood swwwwiiiiiiiinnnnnnggggggsssss !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woots ...... LOL . but now i'm ok . haha . i'm feeling happy . i think . haha . i love baby (: . soooo random . lol .

anyway, got back some of the results yst and today also . oh my tian . what bullshit results i get man . biology FAIL like mad ........ hey my chem is even better than bio ! yes, my chem is better . my worst subject in prelim 1 is even better den my best subj in prelim 2 . bio dropped from a B to a PATHETIC U ... tmd . chem is still a U but i've improved in chem la . at least i can see myself improving . hey . i'm in band 2 for chem, can u imagine ?? i always tot tt i'm the lousiest lot . i hope this can spur me on to study HARD for a'lvl . anyway, not to be complacent, but i believe for many ppl, it's a sure pass during a's for most of our subjs but, a pass is not gg to bring us anywhere . tt's y i'm so worried now . we're like 36 days to first a'lvl paper . wtf . LOL . how how how . i'm aiming for BBBB and hopefully a pass for GP . cos i haven been passing well in GP, infact, it has always been an S . but for prelim 2, guess what, i failed . BY HALF MARK ....... total sian-ness ............... kauz .... summing up, chem-36.3%, bio-29.4%, GP-44.5% . S*** results rite ? hai ....

coming up tml is math . die . i'm v scared now . hope i can reali do much better for math this time . i got like 19% for prelim 1 lor . what is tt . i demand an improvement . LOL . i hope i can got more den 35% this time . hope so ... LOL .

i noe i have not been giving my very best yet . and i noe even though i studied, i jolly well noe tt i didnt put in much effort . i deserve to fail . i studied the night before bio . what the hell . and i dun dare to admit infront of mrs oh . i feel guilty . and i told mrs oh tt guilt spurs mi on - to study. lol . and hey, MARK MY WORDS : i'm studying hard hard and hard for a's . according to mrs oh, at least 12hrs a day . as sch is still gg on now, at least 5 hrs per sch day , 12 hrs per wkend . reai hope tt mummy will not pester mi to do housework for these near 50days till the end of a's . after a's i'll do all the hsewk . i'm gona pack my room -which is in a mess now- and iron all the clothes, clean everything la . aiyo . and not forgetting to enjoy and chill out w wenwen and also other frens !! i jus hope tt looking forward to all this can help mi put in my 100% for a's. for one simple reason too, i dun wana be like her .

well, i think this is a rather long post . shall stop here then . tml - math !!! woots ....... oh ya . before tt, i also wana wish tt baby, ww, tt and all my other frens, all those tt i noe, will do well for a's (: . lots of luck !

-you're my everything-

hey hey hey . yst checked my chem p1 results . lol . i got 21/40 . LOL . i cant imagine tt i actually passed chem p1 . LOL !!!! i'm happy . bu not too happy jus yet . cos i still have p3 to ponder abt . i've already failed p2 . 20.5/60 . i nid 39.5/80 at least to pass my chem overall . i'm sorry to say tt i confirm fail . for sure . HAI . i'm such a disappointment .

bio also cant make it, math also fail, econs also die lor . HAI . so sian . anyway . i feel tt i'm of the least importance to baby . i jus feel tt he doesnt love mi like be4 . mayb he reali feel tt way but dun dare to initiate anything incase i cant take it . cos a's coming . but i reali duno . i cant feel anything from him . ): but i guess if reali there's a breakup, i dun think he'll be affected . cos according to him, i duno how to control my emotions . well, maybe he noes how to . so he wun feel sad . LOL . i reali duno . ltr he'll say i emo again . hai ....................

i'm reali lost now . how . a's coming . n everything isnt gg rite .

-i'm sad-

woots ! prelim 2 is over . finally .. but very saddening . hai . we got back chem paper 2 today . LOL . so early rite . i FAILED . hais . 20.5/60 ! F ... hai . what is this . i expected higher . today's p3 is difficult . i reali dun think i can make it for paper 3 . i din do 19 marks worth of questions ! p1 was ok . jus tt u nid some time to derive ur ans tt's all . p1 i can pass but what's the use when my p2 has already failed n p3 most prob wun make it ? chem - most prob fail .

the more upsetting thing is bio . HAI !!! tt's my best subj ! but today after chem, mrs oh talked to 0611b n our class . p3 ALL OF US FAILED . whole cohort onli 4 passes for p3 but none from both of our classes . how bad is tt ? i'm jus hoping tt my p3 is a borderline fail den HOPE that my p2 can pass . i noe p1 i can pass . if onli i pass p2 . if p2 fail, means bio fail . hais . n mrs oh say tt p2 is badly done, TOO . she also said alot of ppl r under-performing . does tt includes mi ? i reali hope i can pass bio AT LEAST . reali .

something comforting after those 2 episodes is tt ms tan said my math improved . BUT improve doesnt mean pass . she said she can see improvement . alright at least tt's better den nothing . i'll continue to put in more effort for math n hopefully do well for a's . lol . hai ! why bio like tt ?! why why why ?? hai ! i did ard 75 marks . hopefully the most they minus 20 marks den i still can pass . HOPE . but reali slim chances, i think . lol .

anyway, baby is rather nice these few days . haha . actually he's always nice . i'm jus so emo . jus wana thank him for being so patient w mi . ahha . (:

-i love you-

hey i'm just bored la .... lol

Your EQ is 133

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

haha . hey i've got a high EQ ! LOL .

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as confident and determined. Overall, your true self is reserved and logical. With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react. In love, you seem mysterious and interesting. In stressful situations, you seem selfish and moody.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

hmm ... well well well ...

You Are 36% Emo

You're definitely not emo, but you do understand emo people a little. You are introspective, but not to the point of driving yourself crazy.

Are You Emo?

nonsense . i noe myself tt i'm super emo . lol .

You Are 76% Grown Up, 24% Kid

Congratulations, you are definitely quite emotionally mature. Although you have your moments of moodiness, you're usually stable and level headed.

How Emotionally Mature Are You?

ya ya ! i'm moody !

Your Kissing Grade: A-

You are truly an amazing kisser. Your kisses are extraordinarily mind blowing. Whether you're naturally a good kisser or not, you've taken the time learn how to be the best kisser possible. Anyone would be lucky to get a kiss from you!

How Do Your Kisses Rate?

hmm . i dont know abt this . lol ..

Your Deadly Sins

Envy: 80% Gluttony: 60% Greed: 60% Pride: 40% Wrath: 40% Lust: 20% Sloth: 20% Chance You'll Go to Hell: 46% You will die at the hands of a jealous lover. How ironic.

How Sinful Are You?

i'm sinful la .

What Jasmine Means

J is for Jolly A is for Abstract S is for Shocking M is for Mysterious I is for Important N is for Nervy E is for Ebullient

What Does Your Name Mean?

hmm ...

You are White Chocolate

You are White Chocolate You are sweet, caring, and truly very innocent. Whether your naive ways are a bit of act or not, people like to take care of you. You are a quiet flirt, and your power is often underestimated!

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

yea i love chocolate !! but .. sweet caring innocent ? i think baby will beg to differ .

You Are A Professional Girlfriend!

You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise! Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro. If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you. You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

perfect gf ?! i think baby will laugh his heads off if he reads this ..

Your Relationship Will Last... A Long Time!

This may be hard for you to swallow, but you and your guy might not last At least not forever. He's somewhere between Mr. Right... and Mr. Right Now No doubt your guy is a great catch - and generally good to you The odds are, however, that someone better is out there!

How Long Will Your Relationship With Your Guy Last?

i reali do hope it will last ...

You Would Do Most Things For Love

You are willing to go pretty far for love - but not far enough to compromise your core values. Love is a priority for you, and you'll go further than most people to hold on to someone you love. But killing for love? Or even taking a bullet? Probably out of the question. No matter what, you love yourself the most!

Would You Do Anything For Love?

i dont know . LOL .

It's 80% Love and 20% Lust

You and your guy are truly in love, even if that spark seems to be a little dimmer.

Are Your Feelings For Him Lust or Love?

hah . hope it's true ..

Colorful and Sexy

Confident and outrageous, you have the personality to wear a dress that really turns heads.

What's Your Prom Style?

but still duno what to wear .. LOL .

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself You're the perfect blend of independent and caring You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

Are You a Good Girlfriend?

ya right . baby will roll on the floor if he reads this ..

You Are a Lace Bra!

Dreamy, romantic, and ultra-feminine You're a womanly woman who makes guys feel like men Your perfect guy is strong, determined, and handsome With a softer side that only you can draw out

What Kind of Bra Are You?

haha . this is stupid .

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain. People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

What Do People Envy About You?

i'm not sure bout this though .

haha . so damn interesting ..

wow wow wow . the 1st week of exams is finally OVER ! now i'm left w one paper . chem paper 3 . u noe . i've got like 4days n a half to prepare for it . but i've no confidence of passing chem still . hai . bio bio bio . sian . paper3 was diff as i've said . BUT mrs oh said paper2 will be easier . well, ok .. paper 2 is not as diff . BUT reali not enuff time to finish !! rarr rarr . IF i'm lucky(which i'm always not), i'll pass . E maybe ? hmm . but i think most likely fail . LOL . n tt's a'lvl std ! it's not a good sigh at all . ): oh no . i think i reali have to retake a'lvl . hai !

sometimes . when some other ppl treats u so well . even better than how ur bf treats u . definitely u'll ask urself y isnt ur bf as good, y isnt he caring as much, when infact he should be caring very much abt u, more den any1 else . sometimes he give u tt cold reply which seems totally different from the beginning, u begin to wonder does he still love u . sometimes he neglects u but doesnt even realise it himself . den u'll wonder , r u tt insignificant ? den u feel so alone .

yes i feel so alone .

-i dont know-

u noe what ? baby disappoint me again . ):

i tot of a reali gd idea what can i give him on his bdae . i got all the stuff ready n looking forward to completing tt thing . i jus nid him to do a simple thing - to bring something tt i gave him last time , for 1 day . he was napping . n tt time was the time he was supposed to wake up . so i called . n asked if he cud bring the thing . u noe . he was like asking n asking why i nid the thing . of cos i cant tell him . he said if i wan it den i kip it . i'm like ... hai . i gave him tt thing n he now wans mi to kip it . v sad . n . he was like 'tsk' . he sounded irritated . ): i was pissed n i was disappointed greatly . i'm totally not in the mood of doing what i planned anymore .

and . i shld have tot abt it . he wudnt appreciate what i do . he'll definitely say tt i'm wasting my time . since tt's the case, i shld stop doing tt thing for him . so, he shldnt blame mi if i'm not giving him anything on his bdae . he finds it troublesome . to bring tt thing . ok , all the more i shldnt do what i've planned . maybe he'll find it troublesome to bring it home . i duno . sometimes i feel rather one-sided . i duno, reali . i'm jus v sad . i always tot it's the thought tt counts . i think i'm wrong . ):

-unappreciated-

lol . super sian . today have to mug bio . urgh . i cant imagine how i wud feel if i fail bio . hai . hope i can get at least a C . hope essay is on DNA or maybe lac n trp operon . hmm . hope i studied what is gg to come out . hope evo is like the most 4 to 5 marks ? mich, i'm giving up on evo , too . so sian lor . to say wanted to go out n study . but i duno where to go !! i dun wana stay at home cos i confirm will slack abit one lor . hai ! n somemore my granny at home jus now . but now she not at home lehs ! shld i still go out n study ? told baby tt i wana go out n study . but so far no comments from him .

yst i din study at all !!!!!!! after the paper went to cold storage to get munchy donuts ! den joy went home left mich and cher plus mi . den went to lvl 6 n eat . woots . delicious (: . i like bittersweet ! so nice . den went home . blog a lil . do abit of hsework . den SLACK ......... lol . hmm . i wana bake chocolate cake ! i bought the frosting already . the frosting is dark chocolate . hees . so sinful . then i'm gg to bake a chocolate cake w the frosting plus some strawberries and nuts ! woots !!!!!!! yum yum . haha .

i miss beryl . wana ask her out before she go UK again . hmm . alright nothing much for the moment . till then .

-bored-

yea . haha . tml no exams can rest abit more . these two days is like madness . i m tired !! mon was econs and chem . woots . crap . chem, i think it's rather manageable BUT i cannot finish !!!! well, i HOPE i can pass chem . econs was ok too . the case study was manageable too BUT the essay .. i cant do the essay for nuts ! hais . anyway, i think chem n econs , i do stand a hope of passing . but better not think too much . hahs . today had bio n maths . woots crap . this is reali crap . math confirm plus guarantee plus chop FAIL . hais but bio ok la . it was easy than wat i expected
. i hope i can pass (:

yst was v tired after chem n econs . den i was swearing n swearing . -> ask WW . hahas . LOL . tired ma . so damn sian . damn F lor . all 4 subjs in 2 days . but then got trade off la . next week onli weds there's exams . we'll have 4 days plus to study for chem !!!! weeee ........... (: i'm fcuking gg to MUG for chem paper 3 cos i noe i do stand a chance of passing (: .

very tired now . feeling so sleepy and tired tt i actually nodded off umpteen times while traveling to sch n back home . SHAG . baby gg to nap now . but i wana talk to him ! ): hahas . nvm . he nids LOTS of rest too . i love baby !

-examinations sucks big time-

eh . michelle tiah !

1) emo emo emo . u also always emo what . whenever it rains . whenever the weather changes, so does ur mood. lol

2) C for bio ? hmm . ok i accept ur challenge . pass for chem n math .... ok lor . accept lor . eeyur .

3) yes yes yes . i LOVE black . hees (:

4)of course la . hees . i tot u were gg to say i'm cute ! hahas . LOL

5) ya ya ya i rmb too ! u LOOKED quite gentle at the 1st look .

6) JJ (: i tot u'll say pig . LOL

7) not sian . cos i like hot n sour stuff ! (:

**

back to you :

1) eh . jeremy say u gained weight . OPPS .

2) i challenge you to get ranking points of at least 60 for prelim 2 ! haha

3) green lor . u like ma . my baby's fav colour ! haha . lol

4) hmm . i like tt u r someone tt i can share my darkest secrets w . and i can use all those coarse lang infront of you . (:

5) of cos is the sci lab thing la . u deceived me w ur looks . like so helpful n gentle ... LOL . haha

6) u remind me of crocodile . LOL . fei fei .

7) wa lau eh . when can u be more demure ?! so rowdy .

today i woke up super early . 6plus . hmm .. LOL . also duno y . oh well .. prelim 2 is starting tml !!!!!! shit shit shit . how ? i have not finished studying . n i dun think i can finish any of the subj at all ! hai . die . tml chem plus econs . both my weakest subj . i think if i do badly for chem, baby will be v disappointed . it's his fav subj . i duno . how . 50days to a'levels . having so much doubts and having mi so weak in all my subjs, how m i able to pass my a's ? how m i able to perfect all my weaknesses in 50days in order to score for the exams . oh my oh my .

i dun wana waste $432 .
i dun wana waste another yr .
i dun wana do the same stuff all over again .
i dun wana disappoint my parents .
i dun wana disappoint baby .
i dun wana let myself down .

-what's wrong w mi-

very sian . sian . sian . sian .sian . what's w mi today ? stupid emo woman . went to jurong west lib jus now to study for, guess what, only 2hours . then went back home and study . hai . baby din msg or call mi at all . for today ... duno la . why m i so demanding ? why why why ?! maybe he's reali bz . today's sat . maybe he's bz w his church stuff . i duno la . i reali duno la . last nite he disappoint mi by saying those things . now nothing from him . i duno la . duno duno duno .

i guess everyone will think i'm crazy . anyway, baby's wrong . i kip myself occupied . but i still miss him . duno la . anyway . i'm super afraid of failing bio . moreover, teachers said tt this paper is v difficult n they r happy w the std of the paper . so what now ? baby said if i fail bio, he's not gg to care bout mi . well, i guess i'll be a lone ranger after the exams . cos baby is not gg to care bout mi . ): why m i talking abt baby again ? stupid me .

very sian n moody now la . hai .

-stupid and foolish me-

hai hai hai . super duper sian . baby always disappoint me . ): why is this so ? why is he so concerned when i'm not even stating who he is here ? everytime also like tt . "why u write abt me ? internet . alot of ppl will see. " ... i duno what to sae ok . jus disappointed tt he's like tt again . forget it den . next time i dun write abt him den . den he shld not say anythin abt mi using whatever coarse lang i like to use . so sian . ):

forget it . hais . duno what else to sae ...


moody ):

hello !!!!!!!!!!! ah hahaha . i have not blogged for very long ........... very very long ... haha . like 1 mth plus ?? oh my oh my ... haha .

anyway i guess i'm a 'lil happy woman now . cos i have my dearest baby with mi . but then ah ! he doesnt like mi to use all the F words here . hmm ... i'll try lor ......... -.-"

it's magical how we got to know each other . haha . i mean . the 1st time i saw him i tot to myself "alrite . he's rather cute .but he wudn't be interested in mi ." haha . LOL . cant imagine things have progressed to what it has become now . n i'm reali reali glad to have known him . so sweet n nice . but then ah ! no one is perfect rite ? haha . jus tt abit sian tt he forgot our 1st mth la . i hope he can rmb the next time . (: now tt a'lvl is coming , he like abit no time for mi lor . i jus hope tt after a's we can spend more time tgt . moreover, guys are gg to army after a's . i guess i'll miss him like crazy . but .. absence makes the heart grows fonder . (:

enough abt baby . haha . lol why m i calling him baby here . weird mi . lol . anyway many stuff have been happening recently . i shall not name it here . ppl involved will noe what i'm talking abt . i'm reali disappointed in her . i dun care if she reads this n she noes i'm talking abt her . but as a fren, i reali hope to see her doing the right things u see .. apparently i dun think she is . n reali . no point marking her words . i guess she dun even give a damn . i jus wonder . what's the point of being affected by her when she herself isit helping herself ?! so . HECK ! darling WW will noe what i'm talking abt ... we share the same sentiments, dont we ? anyway . " XXX bastard u all ah?! " .. LAUGHS !!!!!!! .. ps . inside joke . haha . my mum is so cute . (:

oh my oh my . i'm scared . scared . scared . scared of a's . i reali reali have to pave my way .. the what-if-fail-a's way . SHUCKS . it's either i'll retake . or tt's it i guess . work lor . but knowing mi, i'll most prob retake .. i'm glad i'm a gal (in this case) . cos as guys, they dun have the time to retake as they have NS somemore . but we gals, dun have . so ya . but i'll still try my best for a's ya ?? (:

anyway . reali wana sae sorry to darling WW .. hahas . ps la . after a's we'll definitely go many many places ok ?! go gym den swim . den go sentosa . den go this go that .. hahas . n EAT !!!!!!!! well, wqe're pigs la . u dun deny ok !!!!!!!!!! we love to eat ma . n there's totally nothing wrong abt tt . (: i wana eat steamboat . den let's bake cake tgt . haha . u can bake for ur baby . n i can bake for mine . haha !!!! cant wait for a's to be over ... i guess i have LOADS of things to do after a's . w darling WW . den have to mit zy, ch n khim . got pri sch class gathering . n of cos LOADS of my time will be given to baby . he has to make up to mi ok . for neglecting mi sometimes . ok la . now ok la . hahas . LOL . den . i guess spend 2wks plus to play n look for job . then after tt can work ! till next yr . lol .

i think i blogged quite long . hahas . ok . lol . shall stop here . wana study !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (: till then ...


i love my baby (: