yst was mich's bdae . haha . lol . she funny sia . i think she was very surprised . LOL !!! joy fake her tt she will not be coming to singapore as her dad will not be coming out of m'sia . mich believe lor !!! tt's part of our plan . hahahah . den i purposely talk to her online on sunday to make her believe tt i'll be staying at home and not going to sch or wherever to study . haha .

so the next day, which is yst, i met joy at sembawang early in the morning and went to buy a slice of blackforest cake and also bacardi breezer for her . since she's already legal . lol . i should be honoured tt the person wanted to check my IC as this means tt i dun look old !!! hahaha . LOL . tt's funny . hmm . den off we go to mich's house ! woots .....

it's rather surprising i still rmb how to get to her house . initially i was afraid i will get the way wrong . but hey . i realised my sense of direction is not tt bad anyway !! tt day went to look for him to study, i also rmb how to get to his place . lol . ok tt's not the main point. haha . joy n i went up to her house and was outside her flat looking into her house . we heard some noises and tot it was her mum in the kitchen doing some chores . so i called her on the phone . i called for damn long den she ansed ! we still saw her running from the kitchen towards the room to ans the call . haha .

den i said " where are you? "

she replied " at home la "

i said : " come and open the door now! "

what was upcoming was terrifying ! haha . lol . she "HUH?!?!?!" until the opposite flat can hear her la !!! she came to the door with the face red like tomato man . and kept saying " OH MY GOD ! " haha . she was reali surprised ! haha . we got her a shirt too . glad tt she liked it . and i bet she liked the bacardi too ! haha . so we sang her a birthday song and she ate the cake and there we go, studying till 4 plus . but we talked quite alot la . LOL . so tt's it for mich's bdae !! (: next yr cannot do this again, will no longer be a surprise anymore . hmm . will think again when the time comes ! LOL .

he is starting his paper today ! and mind you, GP is tml. n i'm like fcuking unprepared . wth . it may seem to ppl tt i've done alot of reading but i noe it myself tt i have not . SHIT . jus do all that i can for the remaining time and yup, the rest is up to fate . LOL . today is also our 3rd month . quite fast huh ? 3 months passed since my bdae . lol . i'm actually stoning now . like wth . haha . alright i better get started with my GP ! woots !...........

- 23 more days
and back to
you and me (: -

i've planned out the time table for the upcoming days of "the battle with a'levels" . haha . lol .lots n lots of stuff to do . hope i will do well . this is what i hope to get . B for GP, A for bio, B for math, C for chem and D for econs . hope i can !!!

apparently, my chem is very very lousy . my goodness . i can imagine how stupid he must be thinking i am tt day when i asked him those chem qns . hahaha . i'm jus so stupid la . i reali cant do chem for nuts !!!!! i reali dislike chem . but i must say that becos of him, it made me somehow being a lil more interested in chem as compared to before . if it's not becos of him , i think i will not even improve the least for my chem . LOL !!!!! so i must study hard for chem too . must not waste my effort and everyone's effort for helping mi with my chem .

crap . feel like studying outside tml becos . at home, i will wake up very very late . ard 11plus . LOL !! den lots of time will be wasted when i eat slowly and when slack n slack, watch a bit of tv and all . so it's better if i go outside for studying . hmm .

ok tt's it . this stupid com always DC !!! urgh .....

-3 more days to a's
and 25 more days to
freedom !! (: -

oh no . lol . i din study much today and i'm watching soccer now . goodness . ltr i'm gg to study again . not gg to do papers but to really study the notes . siao man i think i'm mad . i'm not feeling the urgency to study even though a's is like jus 4 days away. for some ppl it's like tt . when exams get nearer, we do not study but slack . but we study when exam is not so near . sylvia is like tt . n i'm abit like that too . goodness . better study now, no matter what .

feeling quite happy now when i tot of being able to help those cambodian kids . hmm . i searched for my stuff earlier this afternoon and i found 1 whole box of erasers which belonged to my brothers . haha . you know those erasers tt those guys like to play during pri sch . then they'll play this game where they use their thumb to flip the eraser over n whoever loses, will pay the price by giving the winner tt eraser . haha . those erasers with national flags on top . well, ROONEY JUST SCORED !!! woots .. lol . that's so out of a sudden . haha .

den i got 1 doraemon pen which smells quite nice when written . n i found the 11 in 1 games , which is rather compact n hope tt they will like it . and some of my hair rubber bands which are new . haha . hope all of this gets to them soon . so excited . (: lol . it feels happy to do something nice . hope i get to help these ppl first-hand next time . OCIP seems enriching ..

recently having some thoughts in my head . i realised tt i pity her . lol . but i haven forgiven her . cos no matter ppl did her wrong or what, we know tt we did not do her ANY wrong . she is the one tt let us down and said that she was the one who was always being backstabbed . LOL . i pity her becos she is actually being backstabbed by someone closer to her . but she's still v wrong to let us down . i dont care what she do outside with other guys or whatsoever . she can do whatever she wans, give ppl false hopes, f or anything ! if i were still her fren, i would advise her . but that would not break our friendship . what broke our friendship is the things she said tt totally let us down . so sad and too bad . you were the cause of this .

-thinking ALOT-

goodness me . it's like 4days to a's ! oh my god . i'm freaking scared . ): for him it's worse . he got 3 more days ! and on tues, how nice, his phy paper and our 3rd month anniversary at the same time . woots... that's fast . 3 months since my bdae . but i think he will forget but it's ok . cos studies is more important rite now . everything can wait till after a's . (:

yst went studying with him . lol . i was so so so freaking tired . i was retarded yst . was slow in reaction n everything . hahaha . i do chem until i wana cry already . i cant do chem for nuts !! LOL !!! n tt mac was freaking cold ..... woots but i managed to survive thru it and sat there for like 4hrs plus ?! my butt hurts . HAHAHA .. tt's funny . everyone is tired la .. as long as we did study n all, we will be feeling quite tired by now . except for certain ppl who seem not to be studying much... LOL .

these few days not gg to sch already . wana maximise time to study at home ! unless it's studying outside, i dont mind . haha . not gg to do anymore papers ! gotta study the notes and all n strengthen my foundation ! good luck everyone and especially to my beloved . (:

we can do it !!!!!!!!!

-THREE more days!-

i'm in school right now with ying . after talking and arguing with cal yst, i'm v v tired . i'm pissed ! he's acting like worse den a woman . oh pls . i really duno what to say . NO ONE and reali NO ONE, including her, can knock any sense into him . what he's doing now isnt showing her any respect and also not showing himself any respect. hey . I'M REALI PISSED . cb ... i reali wonder when he'll stop . maybe gg taiwan is a good thing for him as he can take time to "heal his wound" and forget about her . i reali duno what else to say but all the best man . tmd ..

i'm using the com for awhile den ltr gg to study my vectors again . actually i realised complex no isn't tt complex, it's quite easy and the questions are quite standardised . LOL . next up is vectors . i reali nid to master vectors in these 9 days' time . omfg . wish mi luck . i haven study bioand chem seriously . i realised tt . shit . gotta start ! tml will start studying bio and chem . URGH it sucks . a'levels sucks . it's a hell of shit .

oh well, i can see that mich is super stressed now . look at her entries and u'll noe . she's like fcuking all the way thruout her entry . oh my ... lac mich . one more month to FREEDOM ... (:
let's all work hard for one more month !

-mug like mad!-

to others, it sounds like i had a productive day doing my revision and all. but i don't think it has been a rather productive day for me . yesterday i finish reading broader perspective and did math. den today i did nyjc math and now gg to do srjc math . gg to do more ltr . will study vectors, complex no, and probability. tml gg to meet him and do all these topics on the tys. all the way !!!!! (:

anyway i have convinced myself to stop thinking abt negative stuff regarding him cos i realised tt although he can neglect and ignore me for a day or two, he will still call after awhile to show tt he care. right now, i just need to be more understanding. (:

let's all study hard now (:

-i understand-

loads of consultation coming up . i'm working hard . so is he . and i bet he'll do well . talked to vin yesterday . he said at this point of time, i should be more understanding towards him . yup agreed . am i understanding enough? i don't know.

anyway, just wana say that i have nothing against christians. the only thing is that i hate people who can't stop preaching, THAT'S ALL . thought about it. if really in the future, my husband is a christian, i would convert too. and wilson said that time that if anyone wants to convert, we must convert for the right reasons. yup . i'm in quite a thinking mode today.

don't know why i talked about this anyway . lol . today i'm gg to finish reading the GP broader perspective. and practise math again . and i don't intend to touch economics yet . until the week before that paper. we have exactly one week to study for it . hmm. yup .

miss cheong said chem paper is not as difficult as our school paper. that means i've got hope ! a C for chem is not bad anyway. lol . if my bio is A and math is B la . LOL .

tt's it. off to study. joy is studying now. i should study too !

-i am studious-

hey . it's been a long long time since i blogged. anyway, a'levels is really near right now. it's like 11 days away. i'm so screwed. but i'll just do the best that i can. and if things really go bad next march, i'll just have to retake a'levels as a private candidate. BUT according to ms tan, hai ... have to retake SPA too, if we retake a's. omfg . HOW ... and it's really a waste if i don't do well this time. this year the marking will be more lenient as there is a syllabus change. haiya.. super duper sian now..

spent some time changing my blogskin. hmm. don't know why. i'm feeling rather contemptous now. what the hell . i'm having mixed feelings suddenly. i don't know. maybe because my period is drawing near and a's too. although i did study and done my work and stuff like that, i have totally no confidence of doing well. i'll just have to continue pratising my math-vectors especially- and also do some chemistry. biology i have to study harder and be more meticulous when attempting questions. i realised that i have always been misreading or missing out certain parts of the questions. i am aim for an A in bio . lol . the rest, i don't know. A B C D is not bad. lol . or A B C C and a B or C in general paper. work hard !!

as usual. i'm afraid to face what is coming after a's. i don't know. what if .. i really don't know. but i already gave him my word that i believe that things will be back to normal after a's . so i should stop thinking so much. yup. (:

thanks ying for being there to listen to my grievances . HAHAHA . lol . i will always be there for you too. your LIANG CHA will take some time though. haha . opps . (:

-when will you say you love me again?-

yesterday you spend half the time u spent with me
talking on the phone. it's ok. maybe there was something
important. also, you irritated me by talking about her,
in a way that i feel you care more about her than
you care about me.
fine.

today, i joined you in the library.
soon, you went off, without asking if i'm going home too.
i wanted to, actually. but you never realised.
not even a question from you. the only words from you
were "i go off first". you couldn't even sense abit of my
feelings. even your friend was more concerned about me,
asking if i was going home. something struck me.
aren't you supposed to be the one asking that?

again, i'm going to say the same old phrase "i don't know".
i don't know if you still care.
i don't know anything.
i'm jus afraid ..

----------supposedly yesterday's post----------------------

it all nearly ended last night.
that caused my eyes to look weird today.
you should know my feelings have never faded
but i don't know about yours.
but since you said everything is still the same,
i shall believe you.

i can put in more effort for you and also for myself to study
harder for the remaining 50days to the end of a's.
i'm just afraid..
afraid that after these 50days
either you will want to end it all
or you would still treat me like this.
now i have another reason to dread a'levels.
i'm afraid to face it.
i'm afraid to face the aftermath.

i don't think i can take another blow.
i don't know.
i really don't.

-i hope to be back
to my cheerful self,
too. i miss you badly-