Plans for the remaining hours of the night.

-Organise treasurial stuff

-Farm

-Bio Assignment (at least till "Status")

-Body conditioning plus recapping steps (at least 30minutes)

-Shower and relax for Man Utd match at 1.25am!

Okie.. That's about it. Let's go...

Anger and depression can be overcome by love and hope.

Yes. Not anger for me, but depression. =(

I'm still deeply in love with you...

I miss you so much..

I miss the laughters and all...

I miss all the good times...

='(

It's coming to the last week of school. =(

I think I've mentioned before why I feel sad about it. Sigh =((

Life is so different without you.

I don't wana live without you.

='(

Beautiful song...

**************************************************

Baby won't you tell me why there is sadness in your eyes

I don't wanna say goodbye to you

Love is one big illusion I should try to forget

but there is something left in my head

You're the one who set it up now you're the one to make it stop

I'm the one who's feeling lost right now

Now you want me to forget every little thing you said

but there is something left in my head

I won't forget the way you're kissing

The feeling's so strong were lasting for so long

But I'm not the man your heart is missing

That's why you go away I know

You were never satisfied no matter how I tried

now you wanna say goodbye to me

Love is one big illusion I should try to forget

but there is something left in my head

I won't forget the way you're kissing

The feeling's so strong were lasting for so long

But I'm not the man your heart is missing

That's why you go away i know

Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere

Don't know which way to go

There ain't so much to say now between us

There ain't so much for you

There aint't so much for me anymore

I was young but I wasn't naive

I watched helpless as he turned around to leave

And still I have the pain I have to carry

A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time

I never thought we'd be here

Never thought we'd be here

When my love for you was blind

But I couldn't make you see it

Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you'll ever know

A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep

Only in hopes of dreaming

That everything would be like it was before

But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting

They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time

I never thought we'd be here

Never thought we'd be here

When my love for you was blind

But I couldn't make you see it

Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you'll ever know

A part of me died when I let you go

After all this why

Would you ever wanna leave it

Maybe you could not believe it

That my love for you was blind

But I couldn't make you see it

Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you will ever know

A part of me died when I let you go

That I loved you more than you'll ever know

A part of me died when I let you go

I have faith in you.

I believe.

=)

Can't find a way to let go of you.

I wonder how it feels to talk to your loved one on the bed, about anything under the sun, and fall deeply asleep when both are so tired. It must be a good feeling.

I don't know what to blog about.

Just feeling really down right now.

Everything I write here, will definitely by read.

EVERY SINGLE WORD.

It was a grave mistake yesterday.

Why? Why? Why?

I'm such an idiot.

I guess I'll still be around?

I hope so.

Stomach hurting like crap =(

Allergic reaction =(

And.. So cold.. =((

What should I do now honestly? =((

Some love quotes...

Love me now, love me never,
but if you love me, love me forever.

To the world you may be just one person,
but to one person you may be the world.

Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.

No one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

Indescribable feeling. Does anyone know?

Will anyone ever understand?

And here I am now, trying so hard to reach out to you.

Not to stress you (at least I'm trying).

To be able to see you, I'm thankful.

To be able to spend time with you, I'm grateful.

On and on, these and that happened. The good and bad.

Don't really know what will happen next.

I'm still standing strong, knowing what I want.

Except that, I don't know if things will turn out smoothly...

Sometimes I really wonder...

This time I admit that it's not right for me to just skip it just like that. I'm sorry. =(

The way you reacted was just like how you did when we were still tgt.

I don't blame you for being mad at me just now. I can't blame you for being concerned. and i'm happy that you are concerned.

I'm so sorry I must have hurt you. I thought you were ok with it cos you said "up to you". =(

Thanks for still willing to send me home... appreciate that really...

I don't wana forget you.

I will hold on... No pressures yeah?

I love you.

It's been exactly 1 month since ......... ='(

I don't know how long I can go on like this. Maybe one day I'll .....

He used to msg me telling me that he's on his way to school etc. Though it's just a msg, to me it meant alot. Maybe it seems silly, but just those msgs itself makes me smile when i get drowsily woken up by the msg alert tone and check my phone.

But now, I don't even know whether he's asleep or awake. Suddenly, our lives seem so detached from one another's. ='(

Why did he say that that night? I don't know.

Is it becos I got tgt with him shortly after my breakup with my ex, so he thinks that i can move on fast and forget him too? ='(

The only thing I know now is that: Jasmine Lam, YOU suck big time.

Woke up feeling like crap again.

I dreamt of you again.

='(

If there's a place that I can hide forever,

I hope that it'll be your heart.

Will you be happier if I didn't existed?

Sch term is ending.

I don't like it at all.

For a few reasons:

1) It simply means exams are nearing (and I have not studied a single shit!)

2) Less dance. Can rest more! But might put on weight. =/

3) It might mean I might not see him that much. =(( It will be worse when the vacation really comes. Chalet will definitely feel different w/o him around. Afterall, things between us kind of sparked off from that night. I miss him like crazy. =((

Dance was fun today. After cleaning steps with juniors, we went crazy by playing all the past songs that we danced to. amazing that we still rmb the steps to quite a few of the songs! then had dinner at JP. finally, not can A. -.-

It's late. I should go sleep. Sigh. Good night.

You are the right one for me. I want you, nobody else. If it's not meant to be, sigh... ='((((

Je ne veux personne d'autre.

Je vous veux et seulement vous.

Détestez-le quand vous dites que "je suis sûr que vous trouverez le juste bientôt". Il est tel a douleur à entendre cela.

Je suis si muet. Qui m'a demandé de le commencer d'abord. Je l'ai mérité. vous sens douleur aussi?

Enjoyed Willy's session today. If You Leave. I posted the lyrics a few entried back. Go take a look. It's meaningful. =) Kinda speaks how I feel? haha. Time to sleep. Nights.

I don't want anyone else.I want you, and only you. Hate it when you say "I'm sure you will find the right one soon".It's so painful hearing it. =( I'm so dumb. Who asked me to start it first. I deserved it.Do you feel the pain too?

This week finally arrived after a long wait.

Yes, after 2months plus, the video is finally done. Seriously, THANKS to all of them who appeared in the video. I'm glad it's done up =) I don't know why but I never get sick of watching the video again and again although it's 20++ minutes long. =/ *haha*

I just hope that he's happy. =)

Ok, i'm convinced that I really lost quite abit of weight. LOL. almost everyone is telling me that. even my mum who always complain that i'm fat says that i lost weight too. ok, good. Hope it continues on this way. Eating less, definitely. but duno why. since then, I dont really get hungry that easily anymore. =/ perhaps last week i ate slightly more. cos it was PMS. -.- today it finally came. right on the dot. this means more blemishes on my face, more bloati-ness, and definitely explains why my mood swings like a whatever for the past few days especially. =/

However, recently i feel very weird. =/ keep having fainting spells. just take yst for example. I experienced that like quite a few times. one when i was walking towards the drink stall. two was when i was at vivo collecting the cake and i had to hold onto the railings while queuing for cab. BOO~ it's freaking scary to be there alone when these happens. suddenly a gush of duno what, then giddy giddy, feel pukey, feel abit of queaziness in the stomach, fingers getting cold.. watever. pray hard that it's perhaps just due to lack of sleep/water. jas tan said could be due to protein deficiency. i don't think mine is that case la. lol. i'm a meat lover. LOL. =)

alright. since i'm so tired and getting all these weird stuff. I should perhaps sleep earlier tonight. =) There's bio lab session tml. grgghhhh. I hate lab sessions. -.- and that's my only lesson for the day. oh no, i must refrain myself from shopping with jastan and joc again! I'm sure i will :D Okay, shall recharge my energy by sleeping like a pig and stop thinking too much (hopefully)! Dance tml. cheers. =)

I thought that from this heartache I could escape

But I fronted long enough to know

There ain't no way

And today

I'm officially missing you.

-I don't care if it's official or not, I still do.-

Met him for lunch =)

Then went hospital with Peiling to visit my dad.

then went bugis.

This was what happened at bugis junction when i was looking at the directory.

This black guy approached. Black as in American-Black kinda Black.

Blackie: "Are you from here?"

Me: "Yes" *searching on the directory for the shop I wanted to go to*

Blackie: "I'm Singaporean too! Erm.. Which is the japanese hair saloon?"

Me: "er.. I guess it's this one?" *points to the directory*

Me: *continues searching on the directory for the shop I wanted to go to*

Blackie: "I'm teaching in ______ Secondary School and I taught in ______ Primary School."

Me: "Oh.. Okay..."

Blackie: "My friend is teaching in the poly at _____. He's from England."

Me: "Oh, ______ poly you mean?"

Me: *continues searching on the directory for the shop I wanted to go to*

Blackie: "Do you want me to show you my IC? You don't believe that I'm a Singaporean?"

Me: "Huh? No? It's okay. I didn't say that I don't believe you."

Blackie: "I'm Bryan. You are?"

Me: "Er, Jasmine."

Me: *found the shop that I wanted to go to*

Blackie: "I'm thinking of giving you my number so that we can keep in touch yeah?"

Me: "Oh, no. It's okay."

Blackie: "Oh, come on. I feel that you're a nice lady."

Me: "Oh, no. It's really okay. My friend is waiting for me downstairs. I've gotta go meet him now."

Blackie: "My number is _________. Give me a call or drop me a sms yeah?"

Me: *pretends to save his number*

Blackie: "hey, give me a miss call now yeah?"

Me: "er, no, it's okay. I've gtg now. My friend has been waiting for quite awhile."

Blackie: "Oh, come on. Let's keep in touch."

Me: "Sorry, I need to go." *runs away*

DAMN. his pick-up lines SUCKS big time. nonsensical guy. so persistent and irritating. he teaches? he's a singaporean? I don't believe. I just find it damn hilarious. luckily i quickly went to my friend for rescue. boo~ it's kinda scary. seeing my friend is such a relief. shew~

came across this song. love it so much.

sung by these 2 beautiful ladies. they are twins!

nice voice too. enjoy. =)

[Verse One]

All I hear is raindrops

Falling on the rooftop

Oh baby tell me why’d you have to go

Cause this pain I feel

It wont go away

And today I’m officially missing you

I thought that from this heartache

I could escape

But I fronted long enough to know

There ain’t no way

And today

I’m officially missing you

[Chorus]

Oh can’t nobody do it like you

Said every little thing you do

Hey baby say it stays on my mind

And I, I’m officially

[Verse Two]

All I do is lay around

Two ears full of tears

From looking at your face on the wall

Just a week ago you were my baby

Now I don’t even know you at all

I don’t know you at all

Well I wish that you would call me right now

So that I could get through to you somehow

But I guess it’s safe to say baby safe to say

That I’m officially missing you

[Chorus]

[Bridge]

Well I thought I could just get over you baby

But I see that’s something I just can’t do

From the way you would hold me

To the sweet things you told me

I just can’t find a way

To let go of you

[Chorus]

It official

You know that I’m missing you

Yeah yes

All I hear is raindrops

And I’m officially missing you

*******************************************

tonnes of work coming up...

Loads of things to do.

need to know how to manage my time well. =/

today is a special day...

happy 4th month anniversary...

I miss you so much...

I'm not good enough for you.

-Kill me now-

le plus cher, que vous veux-je dire?

"Mais croyez-moi s'il vous plaît, Je vous aime"...

Oui, je veux croire. Donnez-moi espèrent et me persuadent de nouveau.. Montrez-moi vous vous souciez, et dites-moi que vous m'aimez de nouveau...Je sais que je ne devrais pas vous harceler de mes pensées... c'est pour pourquoi je tape le français, en espérant que vous ne comprendrez pas que je veux dire... je ne peux pas supporter pour ne vous déranger plus... je ne peux pas supporter pour vous voir dans l'angoisse... :(((((

Cher, Je vous aime ainsi... Juste quand j'ai cru que je ne pouvais pas trouver quelqu'un qui me fait avoir l'impression d'être comment JK a fait, vous avez apparu... :)

malgré tous les incidents malheureux qui sont arrivés entre nous, je vous aime toujours profondément... et j'estime honnêtement que vous êtes les justes pour moi, mon et seulement... J'espère juste que nous serons ensemble de nouveau un jour.. parce que je vous aime, plus qu'autre chose...

croyez-moi s'il vous plaît...

**************************************************************************

incase you guys are wondering, that's french. didn't know that i knew french eh? haha. :D anyway, a nice song, really meaningful.. so feel like sharing... here's how it goes...

If You Leave

You think i`m so full of it, full of it

But i think i`m just fed up, baby

You think i can be so arrogant, arrogant

But i`m just tryna keep my head up, baby

You think i procrastinate baby

But i think i`m taking my time

You think you need to leave

But i think i disagree but

If you believe you`ll do best without me

I`ll let it go girl, it`s over

But before we say goodbye

Let`s give it a try

If you leave, then baby i`ll leave

I`ll let it go girl, it`s over

But i have no doubt

We can work it out yeah

I think you're so full of it, full of it

You just don`t know when to let up baby

I think you`re so arrogant, arrogant

But you think you`re so much better baby

That i think it aint dealt before me to judge you by your flaws and that`s why

No i could criticize, but i put that aside

To focus on you and i

But if you believe you`ll do best without me

Then i`ll let it go boy, it`s over

But before we say goodbye

Let`s give it a try

If you leave, then baby i`ll leave

I`ll let it go boy, it`s over

But i have no doubt

We can work it out yeah

Now if you wanna go, baby

Then i`ll let you go

And even though i`m tryna hold on

I can`t if you don't

No, now if you leave me, you`re gonna miss me

And i`m not saying that i`ll be here waiting

Since we here right now (instead of just walking out)

Let`s work to reach the point that i know we can be...

But if you believe, you`ll do best without me

Then i`ll let it go

It`s over (it`s over)

But before we say goodbye

Let`s give it a try

If you leave, then baby i`ll leave

I`ll let it go girl, it`s over

I have no doubt that we can work it out

If you believe, you`ll do best without me

I`ll let it go girl, it`s over

Before we say goodbye

Let`s give it a try

If you leave, then baby i`ll leave...

Yup here I am again.. Duno what to do. oh well..

So today I cooked for my family. FINALLY, after so long.. =/ Then went sch for awhile. today was really quite bored for me. I can't focus, didn't manage to study a single shit. And i didn't even do the simplest thing which is to tidy my room. What is wrong with me? I have to get my ass off the chair alr. =(

talked to one of my bestie online just now. she is someone so cute and blur. and this is at the beginning of the conversation...

well... duno what to say. just pretend i guess... as much as i want to tell her, i dont think I should trouble her with my problems.. =/

to another bestie: this period must be damn sucky for you.. well, you're not alone.. =/ sometimes definitely we wish that time could turn back. we could have prevented certain things from happening. oh well, we know that that's not possible. so the only thing now is to face it.. I know, and i understand that it's definitely difficult. it sucks when all the sucky things come tgt. =(( i dont really know how to make you feel better.. cos I myself know that no matter how much others say, we ourselves still feel like shit. =( but just rmb that i'm in this shit tgt with you.. jiayou... and dont give up.. I'm sure things will be better for both of us. =)

yes, I'm in a dilemma. kill me. =(

went for MJ just now. it was fun. Pat did about 5-eights of choreo. But dont think can make it for next thurs' session =(( cos I think there'll be DF comm meeting... anyways. ya... it was fun there. but i kept hitting a few ppl behind me. or they kept hitting me too. opps. ok, it was squeezy... bah... then, met chris and christina for dinner tgt with jeff at gek poh. lol.

ok things are not going well for me... puking... yes.. flu and cough... yes... sore throat finally not that bad alr.. sigh. but. just now. I was blinded again =((( so scary.. what's wrong with me, seriously? =((

On a side note,

I think I know what I should do now.

Sometimes I really wonder what is wrong with me =(