My right eye. My right arm. My right leg. I'm doomed.
My right eye can't see occasionally.
My right arm hurts, and it's not the achy kinda pain, it's an injured-bone kinda pain. ):
My right leg is feeling numb, and the numb is pain. Seriously what's wrong with me? ))):
SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................. And my back hurts badly during dance today ): Anyway, I've decided not to go to the doctor regarding my eye problem. Unless it worsens. I think.
Went for Carol's session today. Well. I'm disappointed in my performance today. I just felt that I wasn't "on form". I tried my best to be focused, to the point that I don't feel like talking to anyone. And of course there were other reasons too. I just wanted to keep myself at the back. I need to practise more, definitely a lot more. I can't afford to disappoint myself any further. I want to improve definitely. Hope to hear from Carol that we have improve when we go for the session next week...
I should go rest now. I need it badly.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Engaged Idealists are extroverted and helpful. Others find them to be very congenial and inspiring - especially as they are always willing to see the best in the other person. Their humour, their energy and their optimism attract other people. Engaged Idealists are very good at communicating and are good at convincing and firing on others. That is why it is a matter of course that they often take over the leading role in groups. This personality type often produces very charismatic persons.
Engaged Idealists have an unusually strong ability to empathise. They are tolerant and generous towards others; they sometimes tend to idealise their friends. They always try to suit everybody and want their relationships to be harmonious and satisfactory. To achieve this, they are prepared to invest a great deal and to put their requirements last. As Engaged Idealists are very considerate, there is the danger of them sacrificing and overexerting themselves for others. In their job, they therefore have to be very careful not to develop a burnout syndrome.
As an Engaged Idealist you are one of the extroverted personality types. You enjoy working in a colorfully diverse group of people who interest and inspire you. Working in a “secluded room” is not your thing. You enjoy emphasizing with those around you and soon everybody senses the high priority and importance people represent to you. Therefore a team-oriented project is just right for you.
Your insight into human nature, your feel for your colleague’s and/or subordinate’s positive sides and potentials and your preparedness to encourage and support everyone around you to the best of your ability quickly brings them closer to you. People like to ask you for advice, appreciate your caring ways and appreciate to be taken under your wings. Within your means you are always available to others who need you because you yourself enjoy the ultimate gratification of being able to help others to make the best of themselves and to be successful mediating conflicts among people.
You are well suited to be an executive: It is difficult to resist your charisma, your enthusiasm and your ability to excite and motivate others. Authoritarian management attitudes are not your thing; it is your way to convince others of a project’s reason and significance who will then look forward to follow you voluntarily. You place a lot of value on creating the willingness to cooperate in others and with your gift to motivate that usually comes easy to you. You do not enjoy conflicts, need harmony and invest lots of energy and time in a good working climate and a harmonic relationship of your colleagues among each other.
Engaged Idealists are reliable, well organised and love structuring complicated situations. They have difficulty accepting criticism; they quickly feel hurt and misunderstood. Their perfectionism also influences their love life - they look for the perfect relationship for life. Once they have made their decision, they are faithful, well-balanced and loving partners. However, should they get involved with the wrong person, it can happen that they allow themselves to be exploited for a long time before they end the relationship.
For you, love is the Alpha and Omega in life - you simply can’t be happy without it. No other type falls in love as quickly, strongly, and passionately. That has a lot to do with your limitless enthusiasm, and that does not only apply to things, but to people as well. When you love someone, you put him/her on a pedestal, surround him/her in a blaze of glory, and idealize him/her to the point that the people around you occasionally begin to doubt your soundness of mind.
Interestingly enough, you are normally blessed with excellent antennas for nuances. However, when you are in love, some systems appear to be defective: You won’t see a single spot on the white shining armor of your dream prince/princess, because you are convinced that he/she is a pure angel who fell from the clouds and landed right at your feet.
For the “target” of your affection, this passion is simply overwhelming. Who would not love to be raised into heaven, to be showered with your unconditional adoration and admiration? You court the partner of your choice with infinite imagination, empathy, and charm giving him/her no chance to resist. If you chose well, this can end in a long and happy relationship because you are a faithful and dedicate person who is willing to invest a lot into the partnership. In the long run, it is always given the most important priority in your life. As far as you are concerned, you entered a union for life, and you take nothing more seriously than the obliga-tion you took on out of love. Dedicated, you try tirelessly to divine your partner’s wishes before he/she is aware of them him/herself, and if at all possible, immediately satisfy them.
Adjectives which describe your type: extroverted, theoretical, emotional, planning, idealistic, committed, likable, enthusiastic, responsible, helpful, loyal, diplomatic, friendly, inspiring, caring, solicitous, optimistic, effusive, adaptable, communicative, articulate, convincing, energetic, optimistic, open, vulnerable
(taken from mich's blog. test to be done at http://www.ipersonic.com)
Engaged Idealists have an unusually strong ability to empathise. They are tolerant and generous towards others; they sometimes tend to idealise their friends. They always try to suit everybody and want their relationships to be harmonious and satisfactory. To achieve this, they are prepared to invest a great deal and to put their requirements last. As Engaged Idealists are very considerate, there is the danger of them sacrificing and overexerting themselves for others. In their job, they therefore have to be very careful not to develop a burnout syndrome.
As an Engaged Idealist you are one of the extroverted personality types. You enjoy working in a colorfully diverse group of people who interest and inspire you. Working in a “secluded room” is not your thing. You enjoy emphasizing with those around you and soon everybody senses the high priority and importance people represent to you. Therefore a team-oriented project is just right for you.
Your insight into human nature, your feel for your colleague’s and/or subordinate’s positive sides and potentials and your preparedness to encourage and support everyone around you to the best of your ability quickly brings them closer to you. People like to ask you for advice, appreciate your caring ways and appreciate to be taken under your wings. Within your means you are always available to others who need you because you yourself enjoy the ultimate gratification of being able to help others to make the best of themselves and to be successful mediating conflicts among people.
You are well suited to be an executive: It is difficult to resist your charisma, your enthusiasm and your ability to excite and motivate others. Authoritarian management attitudes are not your thing; it is your way to convince others of a project’s reason and significance who will then look forward to follow you voluntarily. You place a lot of value on creating the willingness to cooperate in others and with your gift to motivate that usually comes easy to you. You do not enjoy conflicts, need harmony and invest lots of energy and time in a good working climate and a harmonic relationship of your colleagues among each other.
Engaged Idealists are reliable, well organised and love structuring complicated situations. They have difficulty accepting criticism; they quickly feel hurt and misunderstood. Their perfectionism also influences their love life - they look for the perfect relationship for life. Once they have made their decision, they are faithful, well-balanced and loving partners. However, should they get involved with the wrong person, it can happen that they allow themselves to be exploited for a long time before they end the relationship.
For you, love is the Alpha and Omega in life - you simply can’t be happy without it. No other type falls in love as quickly, strongly, and passionately. That has a lot to do with your limitless enthusiasm, and that does not only apply to things, but to people as well. When you love someone, you put him/her on a pedestal, surround him/her in a blaze of glory, and idealize him/her to the point that the people around you occasionally begin to doubt your soundness of mind.
Interestingly enough, you are normally blessed with excellent antennas for nuances. However, when you are in love, some systems appear to be defective: You won’t see a single spot on the white shining armor of your dream prince/princess, because you are convinced that he/she is a pure angel who fell from the clouds and landed right at your feet.
For the “target” of your affection, this passion is simply overwhelming. Who would not love to be raised into heaven, to be showered with your unconditional adoration and admiration? You court the partner of your choice with infinite imagination, empathy, and charm giving him/her no chance to resist. If you chose well, this can end in a long and happy relationship because you are a faithful and dedicate person who is willing to invest a lot into the partnership. In the long run, it is always given the most important priority in your life. As far as you are concerned, you entered a union for life, and you take nothing more seriously than the obliga-tion you took on out of love. Dedicated, you try tirelessly to divine your partner’s wishes before he/she is aware of them him/herself, and if at all possible, immediately satisfy them.
Adjectives which describe your type: extroverted, theoretical, emotional, planning, idealistic, committed, likable, enthusiastic, responsible, helpful, loyal, diplomatic, friendly, inspiring, caring, solicitous, optimistic, effusive, adaptable, communicative, articulate, convincing, energetic, optimistic, open, vulnerable
(taken from mich's blog. test to be done at http://www.ipersonic.com)
I'm so tired! LOL. Thurs morning I went to Redhill together with my mum and youngest bro to bring my grandma to the doctor. Seriously I hate the measures taken at the polyclinic over there. It's fucked up. I have sore throat and they gave me a mask and allowed me to go in. When I went in, the counter staff said I wasn't supposed to be in there. So irritating! They can't even come to a consensus among the few staff themselves. It's like what the fuck seriously. At least if ALL of them were freaking sure of their procedures, I would have nothing to say. But it's otherwise! And they said that I can only go in if I'm seeing the doctor. How practical huh?
Went to my grandma's house for awhile and looked at some of our young photos. Haha. Oh my god, it's so vintage. I've uploaded them onto FB, together with some that I have taken from the album at home. LOL. Nice. (: Soon after, I quickly went back then met enxian for lunch. Went over to his place and finally set off for The Cathay. :D We were going to watch Tansformers. And so, we met up with a few of his friends for dinner and caught the movie together. His friends are fun people. Haha. The way they talk and stuff, makes me laugh instead of those so-stern conversations that some people might have. It's great knowing them really (: Now, the movie. BOO~ IT'S SO DRAGGY~ Enxian slept. -.- and I was trying very hard to keep my eyes opened. But I still like the movie somehow. Maybe 3stars? LOL. I guess if I was more awake, I wouldn't have been nodding off every now and then. Haha. We were just tired... lol.
Friday was a boring day. At home all the while. Boo~ I need to pack my room I guess. Can't stand it being messy. Don't know if I will be going out tomorrow. But my stomach is feeling weird ): Went to the toilet a few times already. ))))))):
I must remember to call up the instructor for lessons! GEES. please remember!!!
I love you (:
Went to my grandma's house for awhile and looked at some of our young photos. Haha. Oh my god, it's so vintage. I've uploaded them onto FB, together with some that I have taken from the album at home. LOL. Nice. (: Soon after, I quickly went back then met enxian for lunch. Went over to his place and finally set off for The Cathay. :D We were going to watch Tansformers. And so, we met up with a few of his friends for dinner and caught the movie together. His friends are fun people. Haha. The way they talk and stuff, makes me laugh instead of those so-stern conversations that some people might have. It's great knowing them really (: Now, the movie. BOO~ IT'S SO DRAGGY~ Enxian slept. -.- and I was trying very hard to keep my eyes opened. But I still like the movie somehow. Maybe 3stars? LOL. I guess if I was more awake, I wouldn't have been nodding off every now and then. Haha. We were just tired... lol.
Friday was a boring day. At home all the while. Boo~ I need to pack my room I guess. Can't stand it being messy. Don't know if I will be going out tomorrow. But my stomach is feeling weird ): Went to the toilet a few times already. ))))))):
I must remember to call up the instructor for lessons! GEES. please remember!!!
I love you (:
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
hello hello!!! my computer is FINALLY revived! my desktop I mean. Thanks to my elder brother really. He helped me get the graphic card and fan changed. hehe. for the past 3 months I have been using the Elitebook, which I don't like at all. LOL. Gees. So I'm freaking happy now that my desktop is fine! (:
On monday, as usual there was Carol's session. I simply love it. haha. I think I must have said this umpteen times. LOL! But I seriously enjoy each and every of her session. She taught a new set of choreo, about 4-eights, to a fast song. details spared, 'cos it's meant to be a secret till then (: haha. I love this new choreo ALOT. Don't really know why, probably like what she says, it's "hyped up". haha. I'm looking forward to Grand Welcome. (: But I need rest first. hehe. 'Cos every part of me is hurting. ):
Talking about dance, we're finally done with the super hectic schedule! REST is what's coming up. (: Last night, we performed for the AYM Closing. Well, personally I'm very disappointed in my performance. Just felt that I was not "there" yet. Definitely, I would feel that the Opening one was much better? hmm. But the good thing is, I managed to change in time for the items. (: Everyone's tired, burnt out definitely. Nonetheless, I think everyone enjoyed the whole event somehow despite the less-than-hyped-up disco night. LOL. It was damn funny. The songs played were not that apt. haha. But I liked the bamboo dance, and the other calefare roles we took up. HAHA. Don't really know why, but it feels great to successfully "dance" across those bamboo together with him (:
I should remember to call the instructor tomorrow to book my next lesson. Can't wait. I must get my license! I need to get it. Hope he can teach me parking soon. (: I want to drive on the road again. It's fun. haha.
Just went for some meeting this morning. DAMN IT, does it have to rain TODAY? I was in my heels and my feet hurts.. ): BOO~ The program itself is boring. super boring.. But I can't wait for school experience to start! :D Opps, speaking of which, I forgot to take back my documents from dear. so forgetful.. I'm so lucky to have him together with me in the school. :D Yeah, and he is bringing me out tomorrow. LOL! sounds funny. haha. Gonna meet some of his friends. I'm excited, but I'm also shy. -.- lol..
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend (:
On monday, as usual there was Carol's session. I simply love it. haha. I think I must have said this umpteen times. LOL! But I seriously enjoy each and every of her session. She taught a new set of choreo, about 4-eights, to a fast song. details spared, 'cos it's meant to be a secret till then (: haha. I love this new choreo ALOT. Don't really know why, probably like what she says, it's "hyped up". haha. I'm looking forward to Grand Welcome. (: But I need rest first. hehe. 'Cos every part of me is hurting. ):
Talking about dance, we're finally done with the super hectic schedule! REST is what's coming up. (: Last night, we performed for the AYM Closing. Well, personally I'm very disappointed in my performance. Just felt that I was not "there" yet. Definitely, I would feel that the Opening one was much better? hmm. But the good thing is, I managed to change in time for the items. (: Everyone's tired, burnt out definitely. Nonetheless, I think everyone enjoyed the whole event somehow despite the less-than-hyped-up disco night. LOL. It was damn funny. The songs played were not that apt. haha. But I liked the bamboo dance, and the other calefare roles we took up. HAHA. Don't really know why, but it feels great to successfully "dance" across those bamboo together with him (:
I should remember to call the instructor tomorrow to book my next lesson. Can't wait. I must get my license! I need to get it. Hope he can teach me parking soon. (: I want to drive on the road again. It's fun. haha.
Just went for some meeting this morning. DAMN IT, does it have to rain TODAY? I was in my heels and my feet hurts.. ): BOO~ The program itself is boring. super boring.. But I can't wait for school experience to start! :D Opps, speaking of which, I forgot to take back my documents from dear. so forgetful.. I'm so lucky to have him together with me in the school. :D Yeah, and he is bringing me out tomorrow. LOL! sounds funny. haha. Gonna meet some of his friends. I'm excited, but I'm also shy. -.- lol..
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend (:
Sunday, June 21, 2009
What if it's really glaucoma? the whitish-blinding thing on my right eye is back again.. and I'm afraid... ): and I'm even more afraid of the test. I remembered the nurse telling me that I have to undergo some 24-hour blood test. ): I'm so scared. I shouldn't have stopped the treatment 2-3years back... )))): BUT I'm so scared now.. I don't dare to go for the blood test. I have never had blood drawn from me before. What's more when it's a 24-hour blood test? What should I do? Should I go back to see the doctor?
*Where are you?* ))):
*Where are you?* ))):
Finally... Finally I'm starting my driving lessons again! :D Really hope to get my license soon. As in, real soon. (: Tomorrow I'll be out for the second session since so long ago. I'll treat it as I'm starting from scratch. Hehe.
Oh yes, I'm performing for AYM closing too. Well, initially I really didn't want to, because of my injuries ): But eventually I decided to do so! :D However, I don't feel happy about this coming performance. =X Because there is too much changing of costumes, and masks as well. The mask is giving me pimples! DAMN )))))): And there is Girl's Hiphop included. Not because I don't like it, but when it comes to costumes, it's just soooooo demoralising. ): No one will ever understand how I feel. Seriously, NO ONE.
You can say it's low self-esteem, but I have every reason to do so. I'm not like those super skinny ones who claim that they are "too fat". On the other hand, I don't have low self-esteem. Because, I know where my good points are. And I know others know too. Whatever! Ok, proper breakfast is definitely a must. Other than that, I should just eat apples as snacks. NOTHING ELSE OK!!! Now, back to the main point. I will definitely do my best for this closing ceremony performance. Go DF!
Talking about injuries. Gees. It sucks man. I've got another SMALL bruise near the BIG BIG bruise that I showed previously. And I pulled another muscle during practice yesterday. GEES. Why am I so injury-prone??? I'm hurting everywhere. Literally, EVERYWHERE. BOO~ I just feel that all of us are so burnt out. Nevertheless, I still look forward to Carol's session on Monday! Can't wait seriously. (:
I met Enxian for breakfast today at Best together with my mum. LOL. And he came over after that! We were so bored because there was nothing to do... -.- So, we ended up watching "La Bi Xiao Xing"!!! Super lame. Hahaha. In the end, he had his dinner here too. And went off to meet his friends soon after (:
Gees. I feel so tired man. ZZZZZZZ... Don't know why. Insufficient sleep perhaps? Ok, I better go sleep soon! Feel like swimming tomorrow. Not a good choice eh? There will be freaking lots of people. And it's more expensive. BOO~ Or should I go on monday morning?? Hmm...
Oh yes, I'm performing for AYM closing too. Well, initially I really didn't want to, because of my injuries ): But eventually I decided to do so! :D However, I don't feel happy about this coming performance. =X Because there is too much changing of costumes, and masks as well. The mask is giving me pimples! DAMN )))))): And there is Girl's Hiphop included. Not because I don't like it, but when it comes to costumes, it's just soooooo demoralising. ): No one will ever understand how I feel. Seriously, NO ONE.
You can say it's low self-esteem, but I have every reason to do so. I'm not like those super skinny ones who claim that they are "too fat". On the other hand, I don't have low self-esteem. Because, I know where my good points are. And I know others know too. Whatever! Ok, proper breakfast is definitely a must. Other than that, I should just eat apples as snacks. NOTHING ELSE OK!!! Now, back to the main point. I will definitely do my best for this closing ceremony performance. Go DF!
Talking about injuries. Gees. It sucks man. I've got another SMALL bruise near the BIG BIG bruise that I showed previously. And I pulled another muscle during practice yesterday. GEES. Why am I so injury-prone??? I'm hurting everywhere. Literally, EVERYWHERE. BOO~ I just feel that all of us are so burnt out. Nevertheless, I still look forward to Carol's session on Monday! Can't wait seriously. (:
I met Enxian for breakfast today at Best together with my mum. LOL. And he came over after that! We were so bored because there was nothing to do... -.- So, we ended up watching "La Bi Xiao Xing"!!! Super lame. Hahaha. In the end, he had his dinner here too. And went off to meet his friends soon after (:
Gees. I feel so tired man. ZZZZZZZ... Don't know why. Insufficient sleep perhaps? Ok, I better go sleep soon! Feel like swimming tomorrow. Not a good choice eh? There will be freaking lots of people. And it's more expensive. BOO~ Or should I go on monday morning?? Hmm...
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
AYM opening is OVER!!! now left with AYM closing.. jiayou!! think i will be dancing? hmm. but today's performance was great i guess. hehe. lol. seriously i feel like some superstar. HAHA. well, after the performance and buffet lunch and stuff, there was this group of ASEAN delegates (seriously i do not know if this is the correct spelling - i'm lazy to check) who came over to me saying that they wana take pic. they were a group of girls with 1 guy. lol. Initially i thought it's for the whole DF. so after taking the pic as a group, we proceeded back to the audi. soon after, they approached me again. so they actually wanted to take picture with me! LOL!!! -.- so i practically took with them one by one. haha! and one of them say "you are like a pop star!". haha so funny! so i shook all of their hands before gg off. it was so funny when the guy wanted to shake my hands, one of the girls actually hit his hand, but in the end, i still did shake it and went off soon after that. DF peeps are such cam-whores seriously! we took freaking LOADS of pictures.. hahaha. hope we can get hold of them soon! (:
seriously i'm super injury-prone recently. following all the knee injury and pulling of hamstrings, i get blue-blacks all over.. haha. now it's my arm. LOOK! BIG huh?
hope it heals soon. butter factory 2nd july!!! i just realised why 2nd july sounds so familiar. it's the day dad's gg to court. no wonder...
Happy stuff happened in the afternoon, but was spoiled just some moments ago. maybe the problem really lies with me...
anyway, was watching some studio wu dance clips featuring adrian. it was such a beautiful choreo to the song of "kiss the rain". those fb frens, do take a look at the video if possible. NICE! and the song is DAMN DAMN DAMN nice... just plain instrumental... piano. i just got the scores! FEL! if you want the scores, let me know (: to me, it's quite emo... here is it. similarly, can only watch using IE. can't be seen on firefox.
seriously i'm super injury-prone recently. following all the knee injury and pulling of hamstrings, i get blue-blacks all over.. haha. now it's my arm. LOOK! BIG huh?
hope it heals soon. butter factory 2nd july!!! i just realised why 2nd july sounds so familiar. it's the day dad's gg to court. no wonder...Happy stuff happened in the afternoon, but was spoiled just some moments ago. maybe the problem really lies with me...
anyway, was watching some studio wu dance clips featuring adrian. it was such a beautiful choreo to the song of "kiss the rain". those fb frens, do take a look at the video if possible. NICE! and the song is DAMN DAMN DAMN nice... just plain instrumental... piano. i just got the scores! FEL! if you want the scores, let me know (: to me, it's quite emo... here is it. similarly, can only watch using IE. can't be seen on firefox.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Dance, dance, and dance. TIRED. SHAG. gees... Next wk is even worse. Mon is an exceptionally long day... rehearsal in school in the morning, carol's session at studio wu in the afternoon. jiayou everyone! tues dance pract, weds performance, thurs and fri dance pract. wow.. dance have been putting a strain on me to the point that I pulled my hamstring and it's really not recovering well. and my old injury came back again. my knees... initially it was just my left knee hurting, now my right one is hurting. it hurts when i walk. SIGH. i seem to be super accident-prone recently. kena hit everywhere, injured everywhere. blah blah blah. you name it. seriously hope that i can recover well after these series of performance. sigh if it still hurts like fuck, i might pull out of AYM closing. let's see. hope i'll be fine!
Ok, anyway. my dad got caught for drink-driving. well, i'm sorry to say, but is he dumb or what? =X i mean. it's fri night... it's known that there are frequent checks on fri and sat nights especially. He has to go to court in July. Fine for sure. everyone knows Singapore is a "fine" country. i think his breathalyser thing is about 72? HIGH right? i think he can't drive for at least about 2years? OMG la. Maybe to others, this may seem such a small issue. but i duno why, it's been in my head since i learnt abt it. i duno why, but it's affecting me in a way or another. but anyway i'm gg to save up and chiong my driving lessons and hope can pass my tp asap, best if it's on first attempt. den i can drive his car.. guess what just moments after typing the previous sentence, my dad came into my room with $500bucks. he asked me to go attend driving lessons asap. i'm thinking of 2-3 lessons per wk, about 2-3weeks later hope the instructor says i'm good enough for the test, den go book test date. gees. pls pray for the best for me. (: gonna check if i can extend my PDL online.. hmm...
this is a period of both physical and emotional stress on me. not only me, but him and him. many said that jk dont deserve me. cos he didn't cherish me. now that he has regretted for letting me go, and admits that he loves me, it makes me feel so confused about everything. what i am confused about is not about whether i will go back to him or not. many would think that way, but it's really not the case. cos i'm pretty sure we wont reconcile. it's more of how long i would take to forget jk. i dont wish to hurt him, but becos of my feelings for jk, i hurt him... if you really know me well, you would know that it is really difficult for me to forget jk. and i duno how long i would take... ))): and i really feel it's unfair to him. for someone who treats me so nicely, i hurt him in return. do i even deserve him?
I know I handled things poorly. I'm really sorry. I know you are hurt. And deep down, you might hate me for being like this. I will try my best. I don't wana give up yet. Cos i'm sure i do like you.
)))))))))))))))):
Ok, anyway. my dad got caught for drink-driving. well, i'm sorry to say, but is he dumb or what? =X i mean. it's fri night... it's known that there are frequent checks on fri and sat nights especially. He has to go to court in July. Fine for sure. everyone knows Singapore is a "fine" country. i think his breathalyser thing is about 72? HIGH right? i think he can't drive for at least about 2years? OMG la. Maybe to others, this may seem such a small issue. but i duno why, it's been in my head since i learnt abt it. i duno why, but it's affecting me in a way or another. but anyway i'm gg to save up and chiong my driving lessons and hope can pass my tp asap, best if it's on first attempt. den i can drive his car.. guess what just moments after typing the previous sentence, my dad came into my room with $500bucks. he asked me to go attend driving lessons asap. i'm thinking of 2-3 lessons per wk, about 2-3weeks later hope the instructor says i'm good enough for the test, den go book test date. gees. pls pray for the best for me. (: gonna check if i can extend my PDL online.. hmm...
this is a period of both physical and emotional stress on me. not only me, but him and him. many said that jk dont deserve me. cos he didn't cherish me. now that he has regretted for letting me go, and admits that he loves me, it makes me feel so confused about everything. what i am confused about is not about whether i will go back to him or not. many would think that way, but it's really not the case. cos i'm pretty sure we wont reconcile. it's more of how long i would take to forget jk. i dont wish to hurt him, but becos of my feelings for jk, i hurt him... if you really know me well, you would know that it is really difficult for me to forget jk. and i duno how long i would take... ))): and i really feel it's unfair to him. for someone who treats me so nicely, i hurt him in return. do i even deserve him?
I know I handled things poorly. I'm really sorry. I know you are hurt. And deep down, you might hate me for being like this. I will try my best. I don't wana give up yet. Cos i'm sure i do like you.
)))))))))))))))):
Friday, June 12, 2009
Hannah Montana was very nice. well, initially i thought i would just fall asleep during the movie. Ironically, it actually was entertaining and it was real fun to watch. And of course, with him around. (: Everything that happened after was great. :D
Gonna prepare for dance when i'm done blogging. It's darn tiring I must admit. but it's those friends that made everything seem so fun. It's great doing all these together. Let's train hard and put up a good performance (:
I know I should be sleeping. Cos I only slept 5hours plus the night before yst and slept at 3plus this morning. I woke up at 7plus. I just couldn't sleep. ):
Suddenly, everything came crashing down. I have never ever felt so cheated before. It really makes me wonder how true he was when we were together. It's true that it longer matters even if he loves me now. but I truly loved him, so I really want to find out what really happened. Why didn't he choose to be honest with me when we were together? WHY? Since he wasn't honest with me, why tell me all these now when I'm moving on? I can't put a finger to it. I guess ending the relationship is a good thing. Afterall, I really don't understand him.
Now I finally understand why in love, 1 + 1 is not equal to 2. Despite giving my ALL in that relationship, I get NOTHING in return. FUCK those that says they dont mind giving their all and getting nothing in return. I will NEVER believe ANYONE will give their all, and don't mind AT ALL when they get NOTHING in return (knowing that they will get NOTHING in return). Ok, perhaps something. BETRAYAL, LIES, HEARTACHES. how cool huh?
I know I must have hurt you. I'm sorry... ): But I'm sure we'll make things work, yeah? (:
MY MIND IS IN A TOTAL WHIRL.
Gonna prepare for dance when i'm done blogging. It's darn tiring I must admit. but it's those friends that made everything seem so fun. It's great doing all these together. Let's train hard and put up a good performance (:
I know I should be sleeping. Cos I only slept 5hours plus the night before yst and slept at 3plus this morning. I woke up at 7plus. I just couldn't sleep. ):
Suddenly, everything came crashing down. I have never ever felt so cheated before. It really makes me wonder how true he was when we were together. It's true that it longer matters even if he loves me now. but I truly loved him, so I really want to find out what really happened. Why didn't he choose to be honest with me when we were together? WHY? Since he wasn't honest with me, why tell me all these now when I'm moving on? I can't put a finger to it. I guess ending the relationship is a good thing. Afterall, I really don't understand him.
Now I finally understand why in love, 1 + 1 is not equal to 2. Despite giving my ALL in that relationship, I get NOTHING in return. FUCK those that says they dont mind giving their all and getting nothing in return. I will NEVER believe ANYONE will give their all, and don't mind AT ALL when they get NOTHING in return (knowing that they will get NOTHING in return). Ok, perhaps something. BETRAYAL, LIES, HEARTACHES. how cool huh?
I know I must have hurt you. I'm sorry... ): But I'm sure we'll make things work, yeah? (:
MY MIND IS IN A TOTAL WHIRL.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Life is indeed unpredictable...
I've finally mailed out the parcel, and it's like I can finally let go and be free. I've moved on. And found someone whom I believe will cherish me the way I deserve to be. (: Really happy to see how things are right now. hehe. And I wonder when's the "right time". :D
"突然好想你" just melts me... :D
(:
I've finally mailed out the parcel, and it's like I can finally let go and be free. I've moved on. And found someone whom I believe will cherish me the way I deserve to be. (: Really happy to see how things are right now. hehe. And I wonder when's the "right time". :D
"突然好想你" just melts me... :D
(:
Sunday, June 07, 2009
I just feel that yst i eat alot. duno why. hahaha. mummy la! cook gluttinous rice, den still cook green bean soup. LOL. hopefully my output is more than my input yst. hehe. actually wanted to go swim again. but it's raining now. LOL. maybe i should take a nap later. hehe.
guess what? last night i invited enxian over for my mum's gluttinous rice. HAHA. well, personally i feel that it's quite salty. LOL. but he still say it's nice. haha. the highlight of the night is when we looked through our xingnan pics, and my young/pri/sec/jc pics. LOL. omg it was so damn funny. it was a great photo-showing session. he saw all my unglam photos. ): LOL. *and he was LAUGHING at me OKAY?!* what figure of 8 la, blah blah blah... BOO~ all in all, it was really fun la. haha. i think he went back around 2? tt's the good thing when we live so near each other. haha. i truly enjoyed it. :D
ok, today i'm gonna cook mee hoon kuay. hehe. I alr kneaded the dough. now the soup. mummy helped me fry the ikan bilis so my arms wont kena oil splash :D soon, it can be eaten! woots. haha. i simply love cooking. (:
guess what? last night i invited enxian over for my mum's gluttinous rice. HAHA. well, personally i feel that it's quite salty. LOL. but he still say it's nice. haha. the highlight of the night is when we looked through our xingnan pics, and my young/pri/sec/jc pics. LOL. omg it was so damn funny. it was a great photo-showing session. he saw all my unglam photos. ): LOL. *and he was LAUGHING at me OKAY?!* what figure of 8 la, blah blah blah... BOO~ all in all, it was really fun la. haha. i think he went back around 2? tt's the good thing when we live so near each other. haha. i truly enjoyed it. :D
ok, today i'm gonna cook mee hoon kuay. hehe. I alr kneaded the dough. now the soup. mummy helped me fry the ikan bilis so my arms wont kena oil splash :D soon, it can be eaten! woots. haha. i simply love cooking. (:
Saturday, June 06, 2009
woots! GGC is over. and i should say it was a great performance by EACH AND EVERYONE OF US. and i seriously feel so. what is most impt is the time and effort we put in during our practices, and the commitment we've given. it was a fruitful one. :D kinda sad that christina couldn't perform together with us. but i hope she's feeling much much much better now. ((:
according to SOMEONE, when the pencil lead keeps breaking when you try sharpening the pencil, it's a BAD OMEN. haha. den i went for dance. on thursday itself, i hurt my LEFT knee. bad omen huh? den on fri performance day itself, i pulled my LEFT hamstring during the rehearsal. BAD OMEN again huh? gees... and worse still, i felt like vomiting before and after the performance. gees. seriously wtf. lol. but i'm better now! though i still feel pain from the pull. ): but just ABIT. and so, after MONTHS of procrastination, I FINALLY WENT SWIMMING FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!! hahaha. and i'm happy! happy cos i feel healthy. and controlling my diet. haha. this morning when i weighed myself. i roughly lost abt 3-4kg? and tt was what spurred me to go swimming. cos i want to keep it up. oh, low i mean. HAHA.
I think i'm gonna try completing later the thing i was doing for JK. i finally told my mum abt the breakup. guess what? i actually told her the real reason why we broke up. well, in the first place i was intending to just tell her that i was the one who initiate the breakup cos i no longer like him. but i didn't. my mum was funny. telling me "hao ma bu chi hui tou cao" (good horse dont eat go back grass) LOL! wtf so funny. ok, it simply means i shouldn't go back to him if in any case he wants me back. well, initially i did think abt this qns. i mean if he really comes back to me, should i go back to him? i was thinking, if i still love him, i should. but i changed my thinking, cos i think i've given him lots of time, and chances too. and after talking to my mum, i'm more certain that this should really the end of our relationship. and of cos, this is IF he wants me back. guess what? he msged me yst, asking a casual "how are you?". at that point of time, i was really confused. cos it's weird. cos he never does that. i duno how to describe but i wanted to be alone. however. i found the ans. this is the end.
i am reaching for the cheaper wet tissue... seems that it's coming closer and lower down the shelf. time is the essence.
it was a wonderful last night. (:
according to SOMEONE, when the pencil lead keeps breaking when you try sharpening the pencil, it's a BAD OMEN. haha. den i went for dance. on thursday itself, i hurt my LEFT knee. bad omen huh? den on fri performance day itself, i pulled my LEFT hamstring during the rehearsal. BAD OMEN again huh? gees... and worse still, i felt like vomiting before and after the performance. gees. seriously wtf. lol. but i'm better now! though i still feel pain from the pull. ): but just ABIT. and so, after MONTHS of procrastination, I FINALLY WENT SWIMMING FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!! hahaha. and i'm happy! happy cos i feel healthy. and controlling my diet. haha. this morning when i weighed myself. i roughly lost abt 3-4kg? and tt was what spurred me to go swimming. cos i want to keep it up. oh, low i mean. HAHA.
I think i'm gonna try completing later the thing i was doing for JK. i finally told my mum abt the breakup. guess what? i actually told her the real reason why we broke up. well, in the first place i was intending to just tell her that i was the one who initiate the breakup cos i no longer like him. but i didn't. my mum was funny. telling me "hao ma bu chi hui tou cao" (good horse dont eat go back grass) LOL! wtf so funny. ok, it simply means i shouldn't go back to him if in any case he wants me back. well, initially i did think abt this qns. i mean if he really comes back to me, should i go back to him? i was thinking, if i still love him, i should. but i changed my thinking, cos i think i've given him lots of time, and chances too. and after talking to my mum, i'm more certain that this should really the end of our relationship. and of cos, this is IF he wants me back. guess what? he msged me yst, asking a casual "how are you?". at that point of time, i was really confused. cos it's weird. cos he never does that. i duno how to describe but i wanted to be alone. however. i found the ans. this is the end.
i am reaching for the cheaper wet tissue... seems that it's coming closer and lower down the shelf. time is the essence.
it was a wonderful last night. (:
Friday, June 05, 2009
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Maybe becos I'm not talking much about JK so many would feel puzzled as to why ain't I feeling sad or depressed when I'm supposed to. Honestly speaking, I have already been depressed. And I hope I'm done with it. As in, I don't want to cry anymore. I think I've already cried buckets of tears (refer to my previous posts). )): Deep down, I still miss him (tt's for sure), but isn't it good when I don't talk abt him? when I don't talk abt him, it's a step nearer to letting go. Moreover, after our breakup, there wasn't a single sms from him, not even a "hi" on msn. It's not that I don't want to talk abt him, but I have nothing to talk abt already. ))):
As the for the cheaper wet tissue, I'm glad that things are much better in the sense that it isn't as awkward as I thought it would be in the first place. Right now, things are better though there's still a tad of awkwardness. Just a little. Whatever it is, still, THANKS for being there. HAHA.
Alright, going to bathe now and then to dance. tata.
As the for the cheaper wet tissue, I'm glad that things are much better in the sense that it isn't as awkward as I thought it would be in the first place. Right now, things are better though there's still a tad of awkwardness. Just a little. Whatever it is, still, THANKS for being there. HAHA.
Alright, going to bathe now and then to dance. tata.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
I've always been looking forward to Carol's session cos it really rocks my socks. lol. It always feel like you lost a few kgs after her session. And she's not the kind of instructor that just throw choreos at you. She is fun and I'm really glad to have her as my dance instructor (:
so yst we had our dance session at studio wu haha. trying a diff kinda feel. RnB, slower than usual and stuff like tt. (: I had a great time, like I always do. haha. After dance, we went to PS for dinner and went arcade. Duno what's got over me. I think everyone else there knows that something is really not right with me. taking the king hammer and hitting like nobody's business. Is this how you survive a breakup? haha. If only it's tt easy. What's worse when I have other problems in hand. this really sucks to the balls.
Incase you guys are wondering. Yes, my relationship with JK has ended. I've decided not to blame anyone cos if I do, I'll be putting a strain on myself. I'll just take it as a dream. So much easier said than done huh? In the meantime, I will finish what I have been preparing to give him on our 1-year anniversary. I just want to finish it, up till where we ended. I think only then I will be able to let go. This time I've not only lost a lover, but also a best friend. It's really sad. But I will be fine. Yes I will, but I need time. I'm sure I'll be fine. At times like this when one so vulnerable, it's easy to fall in love with someone who will be there for you. This really sucks too. If only feelings can be controlled, I wouldn't be feeling so lousy now. gees.
I'm not going to save up to get the more expensive wet tissue anymore. Cos I've been saving and saving until the point that I cannot afford it anymore. and the problem is, I think it wasn't even alochol-free or non-soapy in the first place. I thought it was, but as I used it, I realised it wasn't. And now, I think it's production alr ceased. Even if it starts to manufacture again, I would have to think twice, make sure that it's alcohol-free and non-soapy,and more imptly that I still have the urge to get it. As for the cheaper wet tissue, initially I thought I might want to get it when I really desire to have it and only it. but now, even if the more expensive wet tissue ceases its production, I don't think I will want to get the cheaper one alr. Why? Becos I'm pretty sure the cheaper one is not alcohol-free and is soapy. I've always looked at the cheaper one everytime I walk past the shelves, but I don't want to get it, den find out it's non alcohol-free and soapy, and not look at it anymore when I walk past again. That is what I'm afraid of, the most, actually. All these feelings came during the sales period when I get to know some other products and the cheaper tissue better, even though I already knew the cheaper tissue well. Now that I know that the cheaper tissue is soapy, and non alcohol-free... I think, I better stop myself from getting it. I better do so. I don't want to waste my money again. ):
I need time, alone.
so yst we had our dance session at studio wu haha. trying a diff kinda feel. RnB, slower than usual and stuff like tt. (: I had a great time, like I always do. haha. After dance, we went to PS for dinner and went arcade. Duno what's got over me. I think everyone else there knows that something is really not right with me. taking the king hammer and hitting like nobody's business. Is this how you survive a breakup? haha. If only it's tt easy. What's worse when I have other problems in hand. this really sucks to the balls.
Incase you guys are wondering. Yes, my relationship with JK has ended. I've decided not to blame anyone cos if I do, I'll be putting a strain on myself. I'll just take it as a dream. So much easier said than done huh? In the meantime, I will finish what I have been preparing to give him on our 1-year anniversary. I just want to finish it, up till where we ended. I think only then I will be able to let go. This time I've not only lost a lover, but also a best friend. It's really sad. But I will be fine. Yes I will, but I need time. I'm sure I'll be fine. At times like this when one so vulnerable, it's easy to fall in love with someone who will be there for you. This really sucks too. If only feelings can be controlled, I wouldn't be feeling so lousy now. gees.
I'm not going to save up to get the more expensive wet tissue anymore. Cos I've been saving and saving until the point that I cannot afford it anymore. and the problem is, I think it wasn't even alochol-free or non-soapy in the first place. I thought it was, but as I used it, I realised it wasn't. And now, I think it's production alr ceased. Even if it starts to manufacture again, I would have to think twice, make sure that it's alcohol-free and non-soapy,and more imptly that I still have the urge to get it. As for the cheaper wet tissue, initially I thought I might want to get it when I really desire to have it and only it. but now, even if the more expensive wet tissue ceases its production, I don't think I will want to get the cheaper one alr. Why? Becos I'm pretty sure the cheaper one is not alcohol-free and is soapy. I've always looked at the cheaper one everytime I walk past the shelves, but I don't want to get it, den find out it's non alcohol-free and soapy, and not look at it anymore when I walk past again. That is what I'm afraid of, the most, actually. All these feelings came during the sales period when I get to know some other products and the cheaper tissue better, even though I already knew the cheaper tissue well. Now that I know that the cheaper tissue is soapy, and non alcohol-free... I think, I better stop myself from getting it. I better do so. I don't want to waste my money again. ):
I need time, alone.
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