I looked thru some of my msn history just now and realised so much has changed in just a short period of less than a year. Time flies, people may change, lots of incidents happen. Those that you wished for, might not have happened but life is always unexpected. all these ranges from friendship, to kinship, to relationships.

Felt really sad reading those msn history again. reminds me of every single thing that happened in the past. the good, as well as the bad. sometimes you can't help but ask yourself, "why did things even turn out this way?". Sometimes i wonder if I'm expecting too much, taking things too easily, hoping that it will be exactly like what you thought it would be. Is it true that when you expect less, the chances of disappointment is much less? Or maybe for certain people with certain character, I shouldn't even expect anything? But the point is, am I really expecting too much?

What is happiness?

Firstly, Happy Birthday to my elder brother!! LOL. :D He's 26th this year, still single, very good-tempered. LOL. anyone interested?!?!?! hahahaha! macham promoting some sales item. LOL. whatever. but the point is that i just wana wish him a happy birthday. more imptly, i'm glad he finally found a job and is gonna start work in sept. =) all the best to him in this new environment! =))

and today is a MONDAY. monday BLUES~ Boo~ had bio in the morning. darn. so sian. =/ had breakfast together with Jaz Tan, Joc and Dear. =) then went for sci lect! I LOVE him still.. he end lectures super BEFORE time. lol. and he dont tou1 gong1 jian3 liao4. he go thru everything and usually takes only 30-40mins. superb right?!?! even better for tutorials. hehe. so glad he's my tutor too =)) then i went str8 to the lib and did all my tutorials and prepared for tml's meeting and even studied AAB 202 from 1230hr-1830hr. LOL. i'm a good student. and this should go on. =))

Then had dinner tgt with Junwei and Dear at Can A. =) i'm totally obsessed with the tom yam ban mian as usual. LOL! Junwei left while Dear and I headed over to JP to get a shirt for my brother for his birthday. hope he wears it when he goes to work. =) den we had ice-cream at Benten! lol. it's a sudden, real sudden craving of mine. HAHAHA. then finally we went home with the cake and celebrated my bro's birthday! LOL. =))

i'm glad i did my stuff today. i just feel damn good today. haha. it's like loads off my mind. =) i can sleep when i'm done blogging.. hehe. anyway, i damn scared my hair colour will wear off. =/ hope it can sustain for long.. still using those colour care products. hope it helps. cos joc's one have alr became copper colour. as in, really copper.. can't even decipher that it was red.. but hers is due to serious hair damage due to Dancetitude and her twice-per-day washing of hair. i'm not like tt, so i think mine can definitely sustain longer than hers. LOL. hopefully.... =/

Going to wash up then turn in. =) Goodnight!

anyway, to my older younger brother, hope that you are feeling better somehow. some things can't be avoided. it's more of how you are gg to manage it. reality is harsh. but we have no choice but to accept it. take things slow and see how things turn out.. whatever it is, just be prepared.. Cheer up! =)

I had crabs for dinner! Yummy =)) hehe. I love crabs.. Chilli crabs in particular. but today dad just prepared steamed crab, equally nice :D

2 small pieces of crab left. LOL. most are GONE. hahaha.

these are my leftovers from eating the crabs! haha. i'm such a clean eater right? =)) i dont waste good food =)

posing for fun. LOL!!!!! nothing better to do. hahaha.

anyway, just had an argument with someone. sigh. dont understand why some ppl always choose to avoid issues and dare not face the music. cowardice mentality. these kinda ppl are irritating. and definitely get on my nerves. forget it.

This week's going pretty fine i guess. and i'm definitely looking forward to the upcoming weeks. and so, yst Dear and I finally went out. yes, cos i feel as if we've not gone out tgt for quite awhile. as in, really with the thought of dating. LOL. we went Benten to have our lunch. they came up with some new dishes on their menu. nice! :D

We caught Where Got Ghost instead of The Proposal. hope sometime next week i can catch The Proposal. LOL. Where Got Ghost is quite funny i must admit and i laughed quite hard at quite a few scenes. but then again, it's far-fetched and lame i should say. and the graphics.... URGH. and Dear, watching it for the 2nd time, slept almost entirely throughout the show. GEES..... but the main thing is, Miss Felicia Mah, pls refund our movie tickets money cos we're all right about that certain scene! your interpretation of that scene didn't even existed in the movie. LOL!!!

Went for dessert after that. I love the durian sticky rice rolls! OMG... i wana eat that AGAIN. damn nice. hahaha... anyway, just a random thought, i really didn't know that flowers cost that much! LOL. ok, then we went for Dancetitude at NTU audi. Chris, christina, jeff, yanli, fel, xh and bf were there too. I enjoyed myself last night cos i think it's was a great performance by all of them, esp the guest performers too =)) more imptly, Redeafinition. DARN, they're good!I really feel motivated to improve myself in dance. really inspiring =) my favourite story out of the 4, is story 4. haha. jacq is so cute, i must agree. =)

after which, we had dinner at the coffeeshop opp my house. had zhi char. LOL. so damn full.. recently i get REALLY REALLY full easily. dont know why. something must be wrong with me. it's the kinda full-ness that pushes against your gastric. it makes me feel uncomfortable. =( but it was a great dinner. haha. with yanli around, it's so damn funny, cos she's so innocent in that sense. hahaha. and SOME jiu gui damn "smelly".. played tricks to get his WANTS. gees..... but that reaction and expression is so CLASSIC-K! my boyfriend is such a bitch. LOL. hahaha! but his dressing yst was so cute. haha. I love.. =)

today i'm like at home the WHOLE day.. so sian.. did my laundry and stuff.. probably will start studying after dinner =) hope i follow my plans. LOL!

so bored.... no one is updating their blogs =( even so, i dont think anyone is reading when i actually update quite frequently? LOL. but the point is it's really sian when i visit my friends' blogs and it's the same thing time and time again. -.-

i'm bored, seriously bored. -.- gotta go prepare soon. =)

i hope mum allows me to go taiwan at the end of the year or the beginning of next year =)) and of cos movie marathons and such. I think I should be able to do so. hehe.

I realised recently i have not been as lok-kok as previous 2 sems. previously, i really DO NOT CARE, and wear just some bball pants and a tee plus flip-flops and off i go to school. haha. but it was really comfortable. i think i should go back to that soon. LOL. =)

whatever, i dont know what i'm talking about too. really random and no linkage between each point. -.- gotta go.. =))

我不配

这街上太拥挤

太多人有秘密
玻璃上有雾气在被隐藏起过去
你脸上的情绪
在还原那场雨
这巷弄太过弯曲走不回故事里
这日子不再绿
又斑驳了几句
剩下搬空回忆的我在大房子里
电影院的座椅
隔遥远的距离
感情没有对手戏你跟自己下棋
还来不及仔仔细细写下你的关于
描述我如何爱你
你却微笑地离我而去
这感觉
已经不对
我努力在挽回
一些些
应该体贴的感觉
我没给
你嘟嘴
许的愿望很卑微
在妥协
是我忽略
你不过要人陪
这感觉
已经不对
我最后才了解
一页页
不忍翻阅的情节
你好累
你默背
为我掉过几次泪
多憔悴
而我心碎你受罪
你的美
我不配



这街上太拥挤
太多人有秘密
玻璃上有雾气在被隐藏起过去
你脸上的情绪
在还原那场雨
这巷弄太过弯曲走不回故事里
这日子不再绿
又斑驳了几句
剩下搬空回忆的我在大房子里
电影院的座椅
隔遥远的距离
感情没有对手戏你跟自己下棋
还来不及仔仔细细写下你的关于
描述我如何爱你
你却微笑地离我而去
这感觉
已经不对
我努力在挽回
一些些
应该体贴的感觉
我没给
你嘟嘴
许的愿望很卑微
在妥协
是我忽略
你不过要人陪
这感觉
已经不对
我最后才了解
一页页
不忍翻阅的情节
你好累
你默背
为我掉过几次泪
多憔悴
而我心碎你受罪
你的美
我不配


这感觉
已经不对
我努力在挽回
一些些
应该体贴的感觉
我没给
你嘟嘴
许的愿望很卑微
在妥协
是我忽略
你不过要人陪
这感觉
已经不对
我最后才了解
一页页
不忍翻阅的情节
你好累
你默背
为我掉过几次泪
多憔悴
而我心碎你受罪
你的美
我不配

I still love this song after so long =))

i gotta cut down on my intake once again. not that i'm putting on weight, just that i wana continue slimming down. LOL. the good thing about cutting down on food intake is that i get to save money as well =))

had meeting earlier this afternoon after having lunch with Dear at home. yeah, there was soup =) I think it's been quite awhile since I last drank soup. cos i've been asking my mum not to cook my share =/ had math tutorial and it was boring.. ok, maybe not boring, but dry.. =/ after which, I had quite a long talk with christina so much so that 1hour plus just flew past like tt. wow. haha. met up with our boyfriends and friends after their lesson ended and headed towards JP for dinner. I'm so sorry that eventually I can't get to have dinner with christina. SORRY! =/ Dear joined his OG mates while the rest of us (Aaron, Jasmine Lim, Junwei, Jeff, Chris and I) went to Thai express for dinner. it's fun to have dinner together like just now. Infact, I have not had any of my meals together with Aaron and Jas Lim before. LOL. but fortunately, we can talk haha.

Dancetitude is on tml. gonna go out with Dear first before heading over. I duno why but I feel that it's been quite awhile since I really spent time with Dear alone. seems like our 2nd month anniversary is the last time up till now. finally tml we're gg out. can't wait... =) hopefully we can catch The Proposal tml and if we really do so, hope that Dear wont fall asleep again. haha. :p though I just saw him few moments ago, I really can't wait to see him again... i should go sleep soon and time will pass even quicker. =)

Dear was supposed to take a 10mins nap and get back to me on msn after that.. BUT.. it has been 1hour and 45mins since he went for his 10mins nap. and i guess he most probably would sleep allllll the way until the next morning. OR he wakes up in the middle of the night realising how much he resembles a pig, start gg online all over again and telling me tml that he can't sleep. LOL. he seriously ought to be smacked. i mean, tired, just sleep la~ LOL. ok la i think i wana sleep alr la. feeling tired alr.

after 1month plus, today i'm still admiring that beautiful sunflower hanging under my bed. I simply love it =)) good night...

once again, i have been lazy to blog. =/ as you can see, I've changed my blogskin once again! Cos i'm sick and tired of the previous one. =/ I just want a simple skin will do. LOL. School's as usual. i'm still motivated to study hard, no worries about that. =) attended the first lecture by SLum in Sem 2. He is still as hilarious and ghey as before. =/ but he's definitely cute in his own way. hahaha. but lectures are definitely different now without Dear with me. hmm. actually to think of it, we both only started to really know each other at the start of the year, which is January. But it really feels that we knew each other for a long time and knew each other well. ok, at least that's what I think. =/and we got together in June. So theoretically speaking, we know each other for around 5-6months before getting together, eh? hmm..

recently i have been very tired too, cos of dance. schedule is quite hectic. =/ quite a few choreos to rmb. but i think i will be able to cope. sigh but i will be 1 hour late for next tues' session. that sucks big time. it really sucks to not know anything when you step in. =( but whatever, i cant skip my lecture anyway... or infact, it is Dear who DON'T ALLOW me to skip my lecture. =/ sigh... And yst we had our first official session with the freshies, led by Carol. i would say it's quite tough for them, or at least for those really really new to dance. =/ just hope that they would stay... but anyway, i like yst's choreo. =) and today is the beginners' class by WILLY!!!!!!!! I'm his big fan ok. LOL. i simply love his sessions =)) he's fantastic hehe. looking forward to the next session by him =)

anyway, regarding my hair. hmm. some say look like ahlian, some say look very punk-ish, mostly say "i like ur hair!", "nice hair!" etc etc.. to think that i actually kinda scared that my mum would tell me off in "fear" that my hair is too bright for her preference. cos she did not say anything when she first saw it. lol. and she kept touching my hair. -.- and my elder bro being my elder bro (who will never say good things about me) was saying that my hair sucks. my mum actually stood up for me and said my hair was nice. hahaha. and so my "fears" were cast aside. LOL. she actually DO like my hair. haha. =)

I'm feeling tired. I guess I should sleep soon. =/ there's like a 1-hour class tml. sian~ gdnite..

-maybe i should start calling you bitch again-

This song is nice.... (: after waiting for awhile now i managed to get the

whole song instead of the radio version. haha.

寂寞光年

是谁从我天空摘走了星星
一转眼 眉头聚满乌云
从来快乐悲伤都自己横行
忘了我也值得被关心

一双手一个梦
一路上不断的俯冲
痛到忘了要怎么喊痛

漫长的寂寞淹没我的难过
我的世界是零下的沙漠
其实我也想要拥抱的温柔
融化这颗坚强的泡沫

漫长的等候让人特别失落
锋锐寂寞把天空都割破
还有谁能够紧握着我的手
陪着我期待消失的彩虹

是谁将阳光都剪成了雨滴
天灰了 快乐总有限期
从来都陷在孤独的流沙里
忘了我也配被人在意
一个人一直走看着梦像做了又空
精疲力尽有没有哪里可以停泊

漫长的寂寞淹没我的难过
我的世界是零下的沙漠
其实我也想有拥抱的温柔
融化这颗坚强的泡沫

漫长的等候让人特别失落
锋锐寂寞把天空都割破
还有谁能够紧握着我的手
陪着我期待消失的彩虹
那是谁的温柔留在我的小手
微不足道却那么重

漫长的寂寞把意志都吞没
整个世界是沉默的漩涡
有谁能陪我手牵着手出走
带我离开空洞的星球

还有什么值得追求
还有什么可以拥有
把怀抱借给我是不是就不再颤抖
有谁能带走这美丽的哀愁
能让我相信被爱的理由

I nearly died today ): It was so scary. =/ Let me tell you what happened... Yes i was feeling really down and I know it's not safe for me to cross the road by jaywalking, which is what i usually do. So today i waited and make sure that the green man is lighted before i started crossing. unfortunately, tt doesn't work =/

this first picture shows the T-junction just below my house. the red shaded part is the pedestrian crossing i used while the green shaded area was where the lorry came from..

the purple man is me. the green man lighted and cars stopped. only those driving in the same direction as I was walking were moving. the traffic light turned red quite awhile since i saw the lorry from far. as in the lorry is supposed to stop. i felt quite safe to cross initially cos the lorry was far and there were cars moving thru the T-junction, making me feel that the lorry will not just ignore the red light. who knows...

i continued walking thinking that the lorry will stop. and for anyone in my position will think it's quite safe. cos the lorry is far in the sense that there's cars driving in the direction i'm heading towards. it's like "protecting" me, forming a kind of barrier.

the lorry DID NOT STOP. it went fast and drove str8 into me. ok, it didn't run me down. but i'm lucky. i'm glad i looked to my right and saw the lorry coming. cos i was walking and looking str8. i was really stunned. cos the blue car was driving thru the T-junction. and it could have just knocked into the lorry.

i was stunned but luckily i reacted in time and ran towards the divider in the middle of the road. the lorry was like just 2-3metres away from me. the driver was driving fast. when i ran towards the divider, the lorry zoomed past me like so freaking near. just like a few inches ... another auntie was beside me and she nearly got knocked down too.. =/ cars were horning at the lorry and other pedestrians were cursing and swearing at the driver. when ther driver drove past, he gave the "whatever" look. i can't rmb the car plate no... i think there's a "5"? maybe "582" i can't rmb the alphabets at all. and there was a probation plate hung at the back of the lorry. i think everything happened too quickly and i was too shocked at the moment. to think that i'm actually good at memorising numbers... sigh. ):

immediately after the incident, i cried. ): it was so scary....... i only thought that these kinda things will happen in dramas esp when the actress says things like "i thought i wont be able to see you anymore".. now i know this is really the case. I was so afraid. I was alone. I thought i wont be able to see my loved ones anymore. ))): But i'm really glad i'm fine. now images of that incident is still flashing in my mind. it's so scary... =/

sigh. luckily no one was hurt in the "accident" just now, if not, i will be badly traumatised.. =/ the driver will get his retribution. fuck you for reckless driving. KNNCCB.

-I will change for a better future-

i had a dream last night, infact, this morning. no, not a dream, but a nightmare. i found myself crying when i woke up. that will not and must not happen. whatever it is, i will not give up... becos, with the right person, it's definitely worth taking the ride...

saw a video on facebook, which was showing one of my dance mates dancing together with his external dance troupe to the song "Yesterday". This song used to be my ear-worm. after watching that video, I kept listening to the song over and over again. it "revived" this ear-worm.

And this time when I'm listening to it, it feels really really heart-wrenching.

-1247hr-

School finally started. Like what i've said, i was having mixed feelings about it. LOL. well, first day of sch was kinda slack. cos it's mostly talking about the course outlines and such. but of cos, we started on lectures alr. Went for music and i found it fun haha. LOL. we had to sing in soh-fitch etc. but mostly again, was introduction of everyone of us. i also went for Bio. Bio was just like 2 sems back. touching on the same stuff, but a lil more in-depth. this time we have another lecturer other than BGoh. and lectures are held in laboratories. ): i prefer lecture theatres of cos. went for Math too! i love it. haha. I have never mentioned that I love Math isit? Ok, I have always love Math (: and I'm excited to have Math after not taking it during the 1st year. and this time it's Number Topics. the Numeration System is interesting! ((: Then yst there was a 3-hour Bio lect. I didn't feel sleepy ok! hahaha. one hour was taken by SLim. She's good man. She uses word like "bloody" and stuff. LOL. interesting lecture by her. (: tml there's math tutorial! looking forward to it ((: - School's not that bad afterall. Somehow, I feel even more motivated to do well this sem. ((: JIAYOU!

Yst was a Hair-makeover day for Fel, Jeff, Dear and I. LOL 4 of us went to Chapter 2 to do our hair. LOL. not gonna describe what they did la. can only show you what i did to my hair. hahaha. Just hope that wont kena "caught" in school =/ Jeff says i look like ah lian. Dear said so too ): LOL. But i like my hair leh! very interesting and versatile. haha. can make it look WILD, or make it look less wild depends on how i comb/tie it. (: So, the 4 of us are officially BROKE. let's eat bread for the rest of the month. HAHAHA. Below is a pic of my hair from the back. HAHA. so red. LOL. -.-

Hello... Have been really lazy to update recently. Haha. probably becos I have nothing much to say, or at least i couldn't reveal what i was doing recently. But now, I can! (:

Tml is the start of the new school term. Errrr.... Well, I'm having mixed feelings about it. I wana go back to school of cos! cos rotting at home is freaking sad. -.- BUT the core modules just turn me off... Both are biodiversity.. ): BUT BUT BUT... I'm gonna work hard this sem! :D I will try my best not to skip any lectures ok? ((: Should organise frequent study sessions tgt with Dear. since we stay so near each other. haha~ the earlier we start studying, the better eh? ((: OMG OMG, I need to wake up at 9 tml. Need to prepare and stuff... sch starts at 1030! =/ and i need to print my bio notes... My printer no ink le )): Whatever it is, wish me luck tml! let me start it well, and let things go smoothly for the rest of the sem! (((: Oh ya, I will RUSH to dance right after my last lesson =/ kinda sad though.. but still.. haha (:

Had a great time with Dear just now. It's our 2nd month anniversary! :D And since 3 weeks ago, i have been doing this X-stitch cushion for him. (Pic below!) But well, he said he expected it. ): I thought he would be surprised -.- GEES. is it THAT obvious? But I really feel so happy when I completed it yst. thanks jeff for helping me search the net for X-stitch shops and stuff, if not i'll be stranded like at nowhere, looking for threads in vain. thanks!!! ((: I shall believe Dear when he said that he is touched. haha :D And so today we went to Vivo. hehe. went Daiso to get some stuff. I seriously feel so AUNTIE... I think he will agree.. HAHA. Then he treated me to Marche. OMG it's my first time there and I agree that the food there is nice! but of cos ex too.. =/ Had ribeye's steak. nice! and Dear's pork knuckles is damn nice too! :D

More imptly, our main motive for being at vivo is to watch UP (3D)! It's both our virgin times watching 3D. hehe. the glasses are so darn heavy. lol. and worse still for Dear. he was wearing his specs. so it's like double layer. HAHAHA. it's so funny. the way he stuffed the tissue at his nose bridge to hold the glasses is funny hahaha. :p The movie is nice. I like. ((: it's touching actually.. haha. but according to him, he finds it abit draggy in the middle. I think it's fine la~ (: Then we had pacific ____ coffee. LOL can't really rmb the name in full. I tried thier mochaccino. Interesting eh? and I find it tasty. probably you guys can try it next time! ((: Had a great time at the sky park too. Thanks Dear for everything! *MUACKS!* and below is the pic of the X-stitch done! Alright, off to sleep!!! ((:

P.S. BITCH! lol.

-110809-0207hr-

heading over to boon lay shopping centre in awhile's time. oh well. i really hope i can get the things i want there. =/ wish me luck.

And yes my time table is out. it SUCKS big time. 2 freaking days that start at 0830. and 2 freaking days that end at 1930. and my AAB202 tut schedule is not included yet. WTF seriously. and more imptly, it's eating into my dance session on mondays. i seriously dont mind anything as long as it doesn't affect dance. but dance ends at 8pm ))): sigh. this sucks seriously. and fuck man, my 2 bio modules are the topics that i hate most.. all about biodiversity and evo. seriously this is crap. i really dont know how the hell am i going to improve on my GPA this coming sem. everything just sucks for this coming sem.

Day	0730	0830	0930	1030	1130	1230	1330	1430	1530	1630	1730	1830
Mon		AAB201 LG01 7-01-LT3	AAB201 LG01 7-01-LT3									ASK201 LG01 2-01-LT7
Tue				ASI201 LG01 3-02-09	ASI201 LG01 3-02-09		ASK201 TG01 7-01-TR51			AAB202 LG01 7-01-LT3	AAB202 LG01 7-01-LT3	ASM201 LG01 2-01-LT7
Wed		AED201 TG06 2-01-TR19	AED201 TG06 2-01-TR19		AAB201 TG01 7-02-04	AAB201 TG01 7-02-04	AAB201 TG01 7-02-04
Thu
Fri									ASM201 TG05 7-01-TR72
Sat
Sun

*************************************************

you are indirectly telling me that she's better than me in terms of ...... and why her? there is no need to. you know i dislike her so much and yet you brought her name up. yes, being sensitive is the issue. thanks. thanks for making me feel so lousy.

*snap*

Jasmine, this is reality. Face it.

i have been really lazy to blog seriously... but today I just feel like it. seems like there's quite alot of happenings and of cos, thoughts going thru my mind.

28th July is no good day for me at all. even till now, it's still haunting me. ): whatever it is, my birthday was a good one. 30th july that is. now i'm officially 20. Eww how I hate it. it just sucks to grow older and older... BOO~ anyhow, I would like to thank all those people who remembered my birthday, be it the day itself or belated. thanks guys ((: however, i'm just feeling a tad of sadness here and there as some of those close friends of mine................. sigh. watever. i dont think she even rmb my bday. she could rmb someone's bdae but not mine. and that someone isn't close to her. ): i dont even need a "happy birthday". just a "hello, how are you?", i'll be happy enough. but no... seems like we've long drifted far apart from one another. )):

and so, Dear gave me my birthday present ((: I love it... :D He brought me to billy bombers for our lunch at JP den we head over to marina barrage. it's my virgin time there. LOL! i like it there cos it is sunny, but it's windy. LOL. we took alot of pics there using Dear's phone cos i stupidly brought my cam, W/O the batt. wtf right? hell.. talking about that, i wonder when is he going to upload those pics.. ok, back to the point. we then walked around the gallery and had some tea at the cafe.. chill out... den head to marina sq for HPC. lol.. eat until DAMN full. hahaha. we're finally back at my house at around 9plus i think.. den celebrated together with my family ((: and that was how i spent my birthday...

on friday, i met up with Junyang a.k.a Bruce (HAHAHA!) and Idzham. it's been AGES since i last met them seriously. chill out at Coffee Bean first den went to Taka's Seoul Garden. it's like a relevation day la.. realised how many things have changed, realised how some person truly are. it was a great day.. really. they are another of my happy pills ((: we also went to cine to catch The Hangover. haha it's freaking funny. and i really think it's a good movie. I really laughed like fuck LOL. i'm sure the whole theatre could hear me. hahaha. anyway, the movie is about a group of men going to Las Vegas for their friend's bachelor party. they were so dead drunk/drugged that they totally didn't know what happened the night before, and lost their friend (the groom). and so on.... haha. anyway guys, thanks for the treats (:

and on saturday (which was yst), i met up with JK for lunch at Ion. I hate Ion. LOL. so freaking crowded and i just dont like shopping there. gees. we had fish n co, and walked around.. and chill out at wisma's starbucks.. it was a boring day.... cos i'm so lazy to walk so much so that we sat at starbucks for quite long. hahaha. and yes, thanks for the treats too.. after which i left for Tiong Bahru, meeting up with Jeff, MF, Faizal and Dear. so we head over to Zouk and met up with Ling and bf there. the party was so dead cos only the few groups of us were dancing... it was like dance, dance, dance... and nothing else? haha weird... alumni party eh? -.- there was this weird guy that came over and danced with me.. he was really enthu with the lyrics so much so that he was acting it out.. and he was like reaching his hands towards me when he sings "you"... he is really really weird. and when i turn to my right, there was another woman, and she was dancing with me too.. eventually i just tried to walk back to my clique and the 2 of them continued to dance tgt. LOL. seriously, no one "saved" me when i was dancing with them. BOO~ after leaving zouk, we had prata at the prata shop nearby. it's not fantastic at all. but who cares, as long as it's filling. LOL. thanks to ling's parents for giving us a lift to lakeside (:

Today i woke up at 1pm and i still feel tired!!! hangover? dont think so.. i only drank like 2 glasses of vodka yst. hmm... maybe it's really like lack of sleep recently la.. ): and so i did what i usually do la.. den just now i met up with Dear and ling to get the stuff for tml's BBQ. dont think i'll be staying over cos it's so troublesome to bring this and that.. and somemore i will be meeting Idzham and the bio clique + 1 extra on Tues. LOL. haha. dont think i will be eating alot during the BBQ. haha. but i will be drinking. LOL! hope i wont get hangover the next day. hehe.

sidetrack..

I rmbed the days when i went for OBS. I love kayaking. it was the double kayak, where 2 persons will be control the kayak using the "oars?" fuck, i forgot what's that called. =/ it's really not easy for my partner and I to kayak cos we had different rowing timings, and of cos different strength levels. my partner was even complaining that I'm not putting in strength cos he felt so tired cos he exerted alot of force. But i seriously did put in effort to row the kayak. i really did. and i really wanted to reach our destination too. but my partner said things out of the blue that makes me feel that i'm so lousy, which totally affected my mood for kayaking. and thruout that journey, our kayak capsized alot of times... and of cos we took sometime to get back onto the kayak. and seriously i felt really really scared to be in the sea cos i just felt so insecure. =/ just when i thought things are fine, that we are both putting in strength and are determined to get to our destination, my partner purposely capsized the kayak. after that intended attempt to capsize the kayak, i seriously felt insecure, be it in the kayak or in the sea. cos I'll never know when will he purposely capsize the kayak again. this sucks. should i even have put in the strength and effort to row the kayak? i am badly scared by the attempt and was wondering when will be his next attempt. =/ (this incident was like 2-3years back when i was in J1)

alright, i gotta go do my stuff. i think this is a long post. LOL. oh well, i'm running out of time! i hope everything will turn out fine (:

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i finally thought of the right words to describe how i feel towards this person.

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