Tuesday, May 26, 2009

yst i had a real good cry. i've never cried so badly before. but it really feels better after that. cos it made me so tired that i managed to sleep. however when i woke up, i felt lousy again. my eyes were puffy. sigh.

i met him on sunday itself to pass him the things. quite sad actually. i was secretly hoping to see him for a longer time, and to have a lil chat or something. but we didn't. i am still waiting for his ans.

if only i can be like others that can take love so easily, and let go of things so easily then i wouldn't be so sad. i guess we wouldn't even be tgt in the first place if i am that kinda person. sigh. but i believe it's becos i really love him, tt's why it affecting me so badly. what matters most should be loving him, and learning how to love him. at least i know.

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today i met enxian to go town and walk walk and have lunch and quickly rushed over to studio wu. opps, was abt 5 mins late )): after which carol taught a set of technique-based steps for us to practise on. gees i was chosen to solo for my group. seriously it was my first time doing so. was nervous ok! yeah, carol said i have potential to do good hiphop (: but more imptly, she pointed out many of my mistakes and at the same time corrected me. tt really helped :D

when we walked out of studio wu, there was this security guard hurling vulgarities. i really thought he was crazy. haha. he was like "f*** you la! mother ccb!". LOL but wen we looked further, there was a guy infront. lol. i guess it's him who agitated the security guard. -.- but the guy damn calm. haha. he just walk and walk and ignored the guard. hahaha. and the security guard just can't stop yelling even until the guy is gone. and he kept REPEATING. well, it's always those few vulgarities that he used. -.-

chris, christina, jeff, gion, ling, yanli, meifeng and i then went for dinner at xin yuan ji. haha. nice. it just reminds me of the times i spent with him... ): we walked around bugis junction for awhile. and i got the book "the game", which he told me abt before. and i saw books that he read before, and told me abt before. seems like everywhere i go, i get reminded of him ): well, after that we went pool! hahaha. for awhile la. we went off around 9 or so. lol.

finally we were gg home! ling, meifeng and i finally boarded the train. once we stepped in, there's this china woman quarrelling with this sporean uncle. super bitchy and bimbotic and childish. -.- they were yelling at each other and the whole cabin of ppl are looking at them, while the sporean uncle alighted at the station. the china woman was sitting tgt with her friend, and on their right was an empty priority seat, and on their left was 2 empty seats. lol. guess what, i totally ignored and sat right next to them on their left. i was asking ling to sitbut she stood there and hesitated for awhile. LOL. and she finds the part where i totally ignored their quarrel and sat right next to them totally hilarious. hahaha. none of us knew what happened before that caused their quarrel. lol. lame. the china woman was yelling all the way saying things like "if you've got the guts, go outside the parliament house!". like wtf right? and the uncle was saying "you this chicken face. you're a chicken!". LOL. and they were gesturing and stuff like that. hahaha. in this context, chicken means prostitute. -.- and the uncle damn funny. he was "talking" to some guys telling them "she's a chicken", trying to gain support. LOL. they kept repeating their verbal abuses to one another again and again. so childish and lame la. i cant help but laugh. hahaha. cos it's so hilarious! the uncle was standing outside of the train and they were still yelling.

the train doors finally closed and there's left only the china woman and her friend. the stupid china woman was yelling at the top of her voice for duno what fucking reason. then, they FINALLY alighted. while they were alighting, i laughed so loudly that the china woman's fren turned and looked at me. like wtf? lol. hahaha. meifeng den alighted at outram. haha. ling and i embarked on our journey of deciphering the reason behind why ppl call prostitutes chicken. LOL! thruout the journey, we were laughing and laughing... hahaha. i was wondering why dont ppl call prostitutes bitches, cos bitches get fucked around isn't it? what i mean is literally female dogs. -.- so why chicken? cos it's cheap? or what? LOL! we came out with names like "mammal face", "fish face", "elephant face", "bird flu chicken face" blah blah blah. hahaha! it was a crazy journey back home with ling. hahaha. and we were analysing thei quarrels, and speculating why they quarrelled. LOL. nothing better to do huh? haha. it was a slimming trip considering our stomachs ached so badly cos of laughing. hahaha. the trip finally ended at boon lay. haha.

it was a really hapenning day, cos we first met the security guard, then this china woman and the uncle. haha. we concluded that when ppl are angry, they keep repeating and repeating the same things again and again. and the vulgarities that they use are the same old few, same thing, repeatiing and repeating again. haha. it's not a matter of a lack in vulgarity vocabulary, but when ur angry, you can't think of more than those ever common ones like "f*** you" and "cb". lol. afterall, it was a good day, good experience,and a great time spent with ling on the train. hahaha! over time i realised, some ppl aren't that bad afterall. on the contrary, some ppl aren't as easy as they seem. the world is cruel. looks are deceiving. it's whether you are wise enough to see thru them. (:

i look forward to Carol's session again! ((:

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I still miss you...

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