Sch term is ending.

I don't like it at all.

For a few reasons:

1) It simply means exams are nearing (and I have not studied a single shit!)

2) Less dance. Can rest more! But might put on weight. =/

3) It might mean I might not see him that much. =(( It will be worse when the vacation really comes. Chalet will definitely feel different w/o him around. Afterall, things between us kind of sparked off from that night. I miss him like crazy. =((

Dance was fun today. After cleaning steps with juniors, we went crazy by playing all the past songs that we danced to. amazing that we still rmb the steps to quite a few of the songs! then had dinner at JP. finally, not can A. -.-

It's late. I should go sleep. Sigh. Good night.

You are the right one for me. I want you, nobody else. If it's not meant to be, sigh... ='((((

Yes, I've been feeling really lousy ever since........ SIGH...... =((

Monday had election for 4th DF comm. finally stepped down from Logistics Manager. Now i'm the Treasurer. Haven handed over yet. definitely alot to learn still. jiayou everyone. =) went for sushi buffet after that. hey, I realised I really can't eat as much as I used to.. and worse still, I puked everything out shortly after. =/ had been puking and losing appetite since.......... and now it's worse. flu and cough. =( flu started on tues morning. sneezed like crazy. ppl always say that someone must be missing me. well, I hope it's him... =) then finally, it's THE DAY. it's our vid-taking. make-up, prepared everything here and there. and i'm really glad that it's finally over. after MONTHS of practice =) good job guys! :D hope the video turns out fine..

Today, woke up early, went for bio pract. super lazy and sian. Dont feel like gg at all.. but we survived through. finished early and wanted to leave asap. SLim stopped us. opps. say that we should ask for permission etc. we thought that we could leave... so ya... in the end, SLim came and apologise to me. I was so damn shocked. I feel damn bad towards her. She apologised cos she saw that i was grabbing my stomach in pain. cos i haven eaten anything.. well, i feel DAMN DAMN DAMN bad towards her. and when we finally left, she still asked me to quickly go, quick go eat cos i look damn pale. =/ really nice of her... i feel really really bad... =/ so jas tan, joc and i went JP to have lunch. guess what. jas tan started the crazy ride down the can A road and purposely not brake at the hump and the car literally FLEW and i knocked my head VERY HARD. it was THAT loud. and i swear it's damn painful. =/

MJ session tml. but i'm sick.. =( will still go i guess. dont wana waste $ see doc and get MC. can't wait for friday to come.

I rmb what you said during our 3rd. about what you will do on our 4th. will you still do it?

I miss you... =(

been really busy and tied up with school work and more importantly, dance, recently. As i've said previously, i'm like dancing everyday. yes, indeed, EVERYDAY. Yes i admit i'm tired. VERY TIRED. with all that's happening now... Every single day I just dread waking up. I had to drag myself to the toilet.

tml gonna go for MJ session for the 1st time! wish me luck.. hope i can catch the steps! =/ tml no school, it's the 1st time since the start of this sem that i dont have to go to school at all on thurs. this time i will be gg for dance, and wont even step into NIE. lol. For fri? one hour tutorial and that's it. will go home straight after that i guess unless there's help needed =) and guess what? I survived through AED essay and bio assignment. yes, survived but definitely not jobs well-done. ya, i really wonder how am I going to survive through this sem. will i screw it up? Honestly, I don't know but there's definitely a high possibility. =(

anyway, I realised that I seriously can't live without chilli. You know what? without chilli, I won't feel like eating. =/ heard from a friend that experiencing spiciness is actually a form of pain. haha. but i love it. no i'm not sadistic, well ok maybe i am but ya... I can really take super spicy stuff. I feel really shiok eating it. it makes me feel good. honestly speaking, yes, it hurts like hell when it burns in my stomach. I guess partly the reason why I experience gastric pain frequently is because that I always love chilli with super sour stuff. I dont care if it hurts like whatever, I dont care if my hands are burning when I handle chilli padi, I just love chilli and I will never stop eating chilli. NEVER.

recently this song keeps coming to my mind. though it's so old alr but i still love it. loads of emotions.... sometimes just can't help it but.....

When you're gone

I always needed time on my own
I never thought
I'd need you there when I cried

And the days feel like years
when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart
are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know
is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear
to always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you

I never felt this way before
Everything that I do
reminds me of you

And the clothes you left
are lyin' on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much
I need you right now?

do you see how much I need you right now?

will you miss me when I'm gone?

Finally! I'm done with AED presentation. Well, totally not prepared. Everything was like WOW. LOL. But everything turned out fine and we were REALLY on time. =)) More importantly, I'm super happy that it seems like my classmates were enjoying themselves during the activities. :D It's the first presentation ever, that I have presented that I felt so so so happy and comfortable with. as in, I really enjoyed myself. =)) It's like laughters and laughters haha. and our tutor commended us! she said that our idea is very creative. haha. =))

Alright, now that presentation is over, I gotta start with the essay soon! and bio assignment as well. both due on the same day. GEES =/ now i'm freaking busy and everyday is packed with dance sessions. now that there's external troupe performance and MJ (soon) on top on "intensive" DF sessions for DOP, almost EVERYDAY or infact everyday I AM dancing. LOL tired!! oh well, at least I'm doing something I like! :D I guess I really need to manage my time well and study! =/

Listening to "kiss the rain" now... SO EMO! =(( and contrary to popular belief (LOL!), I find myself loving "yesterday" even more. it's like I can feel the emo-ness brewing when we're dancing to it. I simply love it. =) aiya, I love emo songs la. haha. I think when listening to them, you will be more inclined towards thinking and reflecting the past and actions. LOL! sounds like I'm crapping.. =/

And yeah, there's no school for me tml! BUT there's dance. honestly speaking, I dont look forward to the session cos i'm freaking sick of the steps. hahaha. BUT STILL, we have to clean up and make everything look good =) wonder how will the whole video turn out to be like.. hehe. anyway, i can forsee myself sleeping in till damn late tml. haha. cos i'm freaking tired. adding up, i think i only have around 8 hours of sleep on monday and tues. =(( tonight is the night! :D

Lazy Lazy Lazy.

Have been really LAZY to update nowadays. I think probably not in the mood and I'm really busy with dance recently. and definitely school. but today i've decided to do so! LOL.

Weds there was dance in prep for DOP. it was fun to watch someone new teaching choreo. definitely lots of learning points here and there. I have been dancing like almost everyday.... Monday was Carol's session, ok, no dance on tues.. Dance on weds, dance on thurs and dance just now.

Thurs was the day that i was most tired. =/ cos I went for MJ audition (again!) and after which we had video-taking pract. and recently i haven been sleeping enough.. like 3-4hours per day? so yeah... =/ anyway, MJ audition was good. the song that we danced to is "get your money up". just 3-eights, but alot of "and" and "er" steps. so yeah... This time, the amount of ppl that went for the audition kinda dwindled by quite a fair bit. =/ and i think the standard is definitely not there. last year's standard of ppl that went for the audition were much better i feel.. after practising again and again, it was finally our turn for the audition! jeff and i went la, no one else... =/

danced once, then pat talked to us. making it seem obvious that jeff and i have dance background, somehow. and eventually he got to know that we both have been in DF for a year. happy that he mentioned that i have the musicality, but sad that he said that i dont have enough strength. but the good thing is, he continued on and say that it's ok and can be worked on. =) and he also asked jeff and i regarding our duration of study in NTU/NIE so to see how long we can commit. besides that, the rest.. he didn't mention or talk much about..

this was what i blogged about a year ago, regarding MJ audition, and how much i wanted to get in. LOL. here's how it goes...

28th aug

it was the shaggiest day for me so far. damn. haha. it was learning fest and i signed up for house. house was tiring cos it involves ALOT of footwork and we had to jump, jump, jump, twist, twist twist, cross, cross, cross etc etc etc. lol! i cud feel the lactic acid building up in my calves. but it was really fun. after which i went to play bball - finally!! cos i havent been playing for ages. lol. after bball joc, queenie, ym n frens n i went to hall7 fxn hall for MJ audition. the steps are ok, but the song is fast so everything is fast. lol. anyway, we got numbered for the audition. B1-me, B2-yimin, B3- queenie, B4-jocelyn, C3-yong kai. i think i did rather badly during the audition. sigh. but i do hope that i can get into MJ. lol. after MJ, we quickly rushed back to nie to attend willy's class. i mentioned C3 becos he ended up following us to nie. and i feel that he is a very good dancer cos i managed to peep in when he was auditioning. lol. nice. anyway, when we stepped into the dance room, i saw them doing the steps, it was nice! lol. we quickly followed and surprisingly, we learnt it quite fast. lol. cool, we danced to purple line. nice song. (: after that, we had our own session-ing where we danced to party people, apologise, cant help but wait, etc etc. danced all the way up till ard 9. had dinner with a big grp of them and went home. (:

ok, updating done! i really hope that i can get into MJ. shall wait for the results...

-anxious-

and now, yes i still hope that i will get in. to me, if i get in, it's a form of recognition that i really did improve THAT much so much so that they accept me this time. and yes, i'm sure that i did improve since the first time i did hip-hop, but i just wanted to see whether this time i can do it (getting into MJ) or not. if i dont get in still, i will be damn sad... =( but yeah, at least i try... let's hope that i do get in... DF sessions are on mondays. and now thurs are used to clean up for the video. hmm.. means it will totally clash with MJ's? =/ if i really do get in, i will go for the sessions as long as i can make it. can't wait for the results... =)

after audition, we went back to NIE for cleaning-up of steps. DAMN tiring. LOL.... i feel that there's definitely much much much more to be done to make everything look even better. i think more imptly the prob is that we can't even have EVERY SINGLE ONE to be present. so doing blocking with missing ppl can be really quite a bitch. just hope that everyone will continue giving all their 100% in this and make the video-taking a success. =)

and just now went to studio wu for dance. LOL. i like the choreo =) i'm tired, and aching everywhere but i'm kinda happy. haha. cos i'm exercising and doing something that i like. but i better put in more effort in remembering all the steps cos recently it seems like there's so much steps to rmb! LOL. will be damn busy next week cos there's AED presentation and dance and dance and dance. jiayou!

will update soon again, once i get the MJ results =))

tata :D

Firstly, Happy Birthday to my elder brother!! LOL. :D He's 26th this year, still single, very good-tempered. LOL. anyone interested?!?!?! hahahaha! macham promoting some sales item. LOL. whatever. but the point is that i just wana wish him a happy birthday. more imptly, i'm glad he finally found a job and is gonna start work in sept. =) all the best to him in this new environment! =))

and today is a MONDAY. monday BLUES~ Boo~ had bio in the morning. darn. so sian. =/ had breakfast together with Jaz Tan, Joc and Dear. =) then went for sci lect! I LOVE him still.. he end lectures super BEFORE time. lol. and he dont tou1 gong1 jian3 liao4. he go thru everything and usually takes only 30-40mins. superb right?!?! even better for tutorials. hehe. so glad he's my tutor too =)) then i went str8 to the lib and did all my tutorials and prepared for tml's meeting and even studied AAB 202 from 1230hr-1830hr. LOL. i'm a good student. and this should go on. =))

Then had dinner tgt with Junwei and Dear at Can A. =) i'm totally obsessed with the tom yam ban mian as usual. LOL! Junwei left while Dear and I headed over to JP to get a shirt for my brother for his birthday. hope he wears it when he goes to work. =) den we had ice-cream at Benten! lol. it's a sudden, real sudden craving of mine. HAHAHA. then finally we went home with the cake and celebrated my bro's birthday! LOL. =))

i'm glad i did my stuff today. i just feel damn good today. haha. it's like loads off my mind. =) i can sleep when i'm done blogging.. hehe. anyway, i damn scared my hair colour will wear off. =/ hope it can sustain for long.. still using those colour care products. hope it helps. cos joc's one have alr became copper colour. as in, really copper.. can't even decipher that it was red.. but hers is due to serious hair damage due to Dancetitude and her twice-per-day washing of hair. i'm not like tt, so i think mine can definitely sustain longer than hers. LOL. hopefully.... =/

Going to wash up then turn in. =) Goodnight!

anyway, to my older younger brother, hope that you are feeling better somehow. some things can't be avoided. it's more of how you are gg to manage it. reality is harsh. but we have no choice but to accept it. take things slow and see how things turn out.. whatever it is, just be prepared.. Cheer up! =)

once again, i have been lazy to blog. =/ as you can see, I've changed my blogskin once again! Cos i'm sick and tired of the previous one. =/ I just want a simple skin will do. LOL. School's as usual. i'm still motivated to study hard, no worries about that. =) attended the first lecture by SLum in Sem 2. He is still as hilarious and ghey as before. =/ but he's definitely cute in his own way. hahaha. but lectures are definitely different now without Dear with me. hmm. actually to think of it, we both only started to really know each other at the start of the year, which is January. But it really feels that we knew each other for a long time and knew each other well. ok, at least that's what I think. =/and we got together in June. So theoretically speaking, we know each other for around 5-6months before getting together, eh? hmm..

recently i have been very tired too, cos of dance. schedule is quite hectic. =/ quite a few choreos to rmb. but i think i will be able to cope. sigh but i will be 1 hour late for next tues' session. that sucks big time. it really sucks to not know anything when you step in. =( but whatever, i cant skip my lecture anyway... or infact, it is Dear who DON'T ALLOW me to skip my lecture. =/ sigh... And yst we had our first official session with the freshies, led by Carol. i would say it's quite tough for them, or at least for those really really new to dance. =/ just hope that they would stay... but anyway, i like yst's choreo. =) and today is the beginners' class by WILLY!!!!!!!! I'm his big fan ok. LOL. i simply love his sessions =)) he's fantastic hehe. looking forward to the next session by him =)

anyway, regarding my hair. hmm. some say look like ahlian, some say look very punk-ish, mostly say "i like ur hair!", "nice hair!" etc etc.. to think that i actually kinda scared that my mum would tell me off in "fear" that my hair is too bright for her preference. cos she did not say anything when she first saw it. lol. and she kept touching my hair. -.- and my elder bro being my elder bro (who will never say good things about me) was saying that my hair sucks. my mum actually stood up for me and said my hair was nice. hahaha. and so my "fears" were cast aside. LOL. she actually DO like my hair. haha. =)

I'm feeling tired. I guess I should sleep soon. =/ there's like a 1-hour class tml. sian~ gdnite..

-maybe i should start calling you bitch again-

School finally started. Like what i've said, i was having mixed feelings about it. LOL. well, first day of sch was kinda slack. cos it's mostly talking about the course outlines and such. but of cos, we started on lectures alr. Went for music and i found it fun haha. LOL. we had to sing in soh-fitch etc. but mostly again, was introduction of everyone of us. i also went for Bio. Bio was just like 2 sems back. touching on the same stuff, but a lil more in-depth. this time we have another lecturer other than BGoh. and lectures are held in laboratories. ): i prefer lecture theatres of cos. went for Math too! i love it. haha. I have never mentioned that I love Math isit? Ok, I have always love Math (: and I'm excited to have Math after not taking it during the 1st year. and this time it's Number Topics. the Numeration System is interesting! ((: Then yst there was a 3-hour Bio lect. I didn't feel sleepy ok! hahaha. one hour was taken by SLim. She's good man. She uses word like "bloody" and stuff. LOL. interesting lecture by her. (: tml there's math tutorial! looking forward to it ((: - School's not that bad afterall. Somehow, I feel even more motivated to do well this sem. ((: JIAYOU!

Yst was a Hair-makeover day for Fel, Jeff, Dear and I. LOL 4 of us went to Chapter 2 to do our hair. LOL. not gonna describe what they did la. can only show you what i did to my hair. hahaha. Just hope that wont kena "caught" in school =/ Jeff says i look like ah lian. Dear said so too ): LOL. But i like my hair leh! very interesting and versatile. haha. can make it look WILD, or make it look less wild depends on how i comb/tie it. (: So, the 4 of us are officially BROKE. let's eat bread for the rest of the month. HAHAHA. Below is a pic of my hair from the back. HAHA. so red. LOL. -.-

Hello... Have been really lazy to update recently. Haha. probably becos I have nothing much to say, or at least i couldn't reveal what i was doing recently. But now, I can! (:

Tml is the start of the new school term. Errrr.... Well, I'm having mixed feelings about it. I wana go back to school of cos! cos rotting at home is freaking sad. -.- BUT the core modules just turn me off... Both are biodiversity.. ): BUT BUT BUT... I'm gonna work hard this sem! :D I will try my best not to skip any lectures ok? ((: Should organise frequent study sessions tgt with Dear. since we stay so near each other. haha~ the earlier we start studying, the better eh? ((: OMG OMG, I need to wake up at 9 tml. Need to prepare and stuff... sch starts at 1030! =/ and i need to print my bio notes... My printer no ink le )): Whatever it is, wish me luck tml! let me start it well, and let things go smoothly for the rest of the sem! (((: Oh ya, I will RUSH to dance right after my last lesson =/ kinda sad though.. but still.. haha (:

Had a great time with Dear just now. It's our 2nd month anniversary! :D And since 3 weeks ago, i have been doing this X-stitch cushion for him. (Pic below!) But well, he said he expected it. ): I thought he would be surprised -.- GEES. is it THAT obvious? But I really feel so happy when I completed it yst. thanks jeff for helping me search the net for X-stitch shops and stuff, if not i'll be stranded like at nowhere, looking for threads in vain. thanks!!! ((: I shall believe Dear when he said that he is touched. haha :D And so today we went to Vivo. hehe. went Daiso to get some stuff. I seriously feel so AUNTIE... I think he will agree.. HAHA. Then he treated me to Marche. OMG it's my first time there and I agree that the food there is nice! but of cos ex too.. =/ Had ribeye's steak. nice! and Dear's pork knuckles is damn nice too! :D

More imptly, our main motive for being at vivo is to watch UP (3D)! It's both our virgin times watching 3D. hehe. the glasses are so darn heavy. lol. and worse still for Dear. he was wearing his specs. so it's like double layer. HAHAHA. it's so funny. the way he stuffed the tissue at his nose bridge to hold the glasses is funny hahaha. :p The movie is nice. I like. ((: it's touching actually.. haha. but according to him, he finds it abit draggy in the middle. I think it's fine la~ (: Then we had pacific ____ coffee. LOL can't really rmb the name in full. I tried thier mochaccino. Interesting eh? and I find it tasty. probably you guys can try it next time! ((: Had a great time at the sky park too. Thanks Dear for everything! *MUACKS!* and below is the pic of the X-stitch done! Alright, off to sleep!!! ((:

P.S. BITCH! lol.

-110809-0207hr-

heading over to boon lay shopping centre in awhile's time. oh well. i really hope i can get the things i want there. =/ wish me luck.

And yes my time table is out. it SUCKS big time. 2 freaking days that start at 0830. and 2 freaking days that end at 1930. and my AAB202 tut schedule is not included yet. WTF seriously. and more imptly, it's eating into my dance session on mondays. i seriously dont mind anything as long as it doesn't affect dance. but dance ends at 8pm ))): sigh. this sucks seriously. and fuck man, my 2 bio modules are the topics that i hate most.. all about biodiversity and evo. seriously this is crap. i really dont know how the hell am i going to improve on my GPA this coming sem. everything just sucks for this coming sem.

Day	0730	0830	0930	1030	1130	1230	1330	1430	1530	1630	1730	1830
Mon		AAB201 LG01 7-01-LT3	AAB201 LG01 7-01-LT3									ASK201 LG01 2-01-LT7
Tue				ASI201 LG01 3-02-09	ASI201 LG01 3-02-09		ASK201 TG01 7-01-TR51			AAB202 LG01 7-01-LT3	AAB202 LG01 7-01-LT3	ASM201 LG01 2-01-LT7
Wed		AED201 TG06 2-01-TR19	AED201 TG06 2-01-TR19		AAB201 TG01 7-02-04	AAB201 TG01 7-02-04	AAB201 TG01 7-02-04
Thu
Fri									ASM201 TG05 7-01-TR72
Sat
Sun

*************************************************

you are indirectly telling me that she's better than me in terms of ...... and why her? there is no need to. you know i dislike her so much and yet you brought her name up. yes, being sensitive is the issue. thanks. thanks for making me feel so lousy.

*snap*

Jasmine, this is reality. Face it.

He says he's hurt by whatever I have said here. And so, I've deleted all those posts.

Those few days that passed were torturous. Of cos today was the worst. Cos... Finally, he said it.

Mum cooked pork belly today. and then I remembered I told him that if my mum cooks it, I will ask him over to try it. But now I can't. I should not disturb him at all, even if anything happens. I should give him time, alone. But I'm scared my mum will ask for the next few days - where is he, why didn't he come. Sigh. I think I need to go out tml or something. And
next week too. Perhaps just bluff that I'm out with him, then she wont ask and suspect something happened. =/

My gastric is hurting like fuck. ): I'm just too stubborn la, can't help. But since my gastric is alr so screwed up, it doesn't matter if i skip a meal or 2 la~ It was a great time spent during school experience, cos I got to know a bunch of really good people. as for SCHOOL experience itself, I've nothing much to say about it.

Anyway I realised physical hurt really lightens emotional heartaches. And it's really true, cos Roby says so too. LOL. she tried punching the wall too, but what's most hardcore about her is that she ran on a threadmill for 2 hours when she was sooo angry that time. no way for me, tt was why i punch the wall instead. want me to workout as in run/jog? over my dead body. Well, physical hurt helps somehow.. at least it stops you from crying. cos it's painful. But you are "engrossed" in the pain, instead of the emotional heartache, so much so that you will actually stop crying. But that's if you continuously punch the wall la. And it makes you tired cos you're exerting force. but once i stop punching, I start crying again, so I was tired of punching and i gave up. eventually I just cried to sleep, somehow. morning there was still abit of blue-black. but now it's fine alr. and it doesn't hurt anymore. amazing...

what's most annoying is that i finally managed to sleep around 1am, but i duno what the fuck is wrong that made me wake up at 3am! And worse still, I can't sleep after that. And from there, I was awake all the way until I went sch and came back. I'm gonna sleep after I finish this.

I really want to see him so badly. I guess on my side, this is firstly the reason why in the first place I reacted strongly to those incidents. actually I don't really know why too. but.. does he miss me? does he want to see me too? I'm very scared that when he's done with his time alone, I will be afraid to face him )):

School Experience had been a fruitful one. (: I really LOVE the kids there. some are really polite and will greet you even if they do not know you. Of cos, generally speaking, the lower primary classes that I observed were much more disciplined than the upper ones. How ironical. HAHA. But I really enjoyed myself there. I've learnt a lot. I'm glad (: It's really not easy at all. TRUCKLOAD of patience is needed of cos. haha. Hope that next year I will still be posted there. Really glad that I have the few of them as my CTs. they are all really really nice ppl! (:

Anyways, today (10/07/09) is our 1st month anniversary!!! :D I seriously thought that dear will forget about it! I feel so guilty cos I did not prepare anything for him, except writing a letter for him this morning =/ and he has been really sweet. i thought he didn't bother when my msn nick says "my nose bled again ):". In the end, he bought herbal tea for me and gave them to me 3 days in consecutive... ((: So sweet!!

Dear and I went JP for dinner today. And he treated me! :D during dinner, he gave me a gift. hehe. LOOK....

If you see carefully, it's a girl listening from a cup, which is linked to the cup that the guy is holding. and obviously, the guy one is with dear (:

And when I open it up, it's Dear's name and on the right side, it's the date we got tgt. Can't really see... But yeah... Haha. Then Dear told me there was another thing he wanted to give me. And he had already "planted" it in my room earlier on. I have NO IDEA what isit. totally no idea. LOL.

We went to catch Ice Age 3 after dinner. It was a nice movie I feel... funny and cute too. haha. But it was so cold in there. LOL. Anyway i think the kids in the cinema were really enjoying themselves during the movie. I could just feel it. LOL. And so Dear went to meet his Bunk 4 mates while I went home. the first thing i did when i got home? SEARCH FOR THE THING DEAR WAS TALKING ABOUT! I spent quite a lot time looking for it, but to no avail ))): finally dear gave me the answer... it was in a drawer that is spoilt and stuck for years... seriously wonder how did Dear managed to open the drawer to get the "thing" in. LOL. I used all my might to open the damn drawer. and it's breaking... LOL! And so... this is what Dear did for me!!!

So beautiful right? It's really sweet of him (: I counted. It's about 30 petals, each saying "I love you" in different languages... And at the back, there were some quotes at the center. so nice :D I am soooo touched ok... I was in tears =X

and this is how big it looks. See my thumb? you can roughly gauge the size eh?

Thanks dear, I'm glad to have met you and being loved by you. I'm sorry that I thought otherwise. Thought that you didn't really care and such. I misunderstood you. ): Thank you for putting in effort and hardwork into this beautiful gift. I really love it. VERY MUCH... (: Thank you for everything that you have done so far. I'm sure things are working out and will get even better in the future ((: I love you ((:

Once again, I have to repeat, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE. lol. well, this is really the first time i tried studying till early morning like 5plus am? LOL. I mean for exams. usually the day before exams, you'll see me sleeping soundly by around 10pm. It really tells us that in Uni, everything is different. No one will care if you listen during lectures, if you revise your work constantly. It all boils down to one thing: SELF-DISCIPLINE. it is not difficult to see that I've a lack of that. -.-

BUT the good thing is, the nightmare is OVER. today i had my last paper of the semester. :D I am soooooo freaking happy can! happy as in, glad that it's over. ironically, i do not feel any signs of relief as to tell myself that exams are over and i can enjoy. I totally could not feel that. Indeed, I enjoyed myself after exams just now. with a couple of friends. (: shall update a few days later what I did today (: The point is, i'm not 'out' of the exam mood yet. I still feel very serious and shag due to late nights and stuff like that. Probably i need sleep, i need to sleep like a pig to regain my liveliness back. LOL.

oh well, today's paper was quite ok. I hope i can get A or higher? i HOPE, ok... -.- hopefully moderation wont pull my grades down.hope test results can help pull up the exam marks too. I just hope that the good will happen. but i must always be prepared to get a B or C. incase... lol

What is love? I don't know.
But I know one thing: Do not love for the sake of loving. Love him, for who he is. Treasure this, cherish it. One day you will understand. This is what love is all about.

I AM SO TIRED. i wanted to watch liverpool v arsenal but now i'm too tired to do so. gonna sleep! nitess.... (:

For the first time I actually felt so blank and unprepared for exams. I know I did study, and I did remember stuff. Perhaps not enough? I think I can manage a B or so. Hopefully miracles happen to save me from the nightmare. Thanks to Idzham, seriously. He helped me alot. Those questions that he spotted actually came out. A million thanks seriously. I would have done much worse without his help. LOL.

Guess what? I forgot what is z-value! URGH. damn. but luckily i rmbed the rest. However, things din really go well for me during the food microbio portion. it killed me, OK. DAMN it. GEESUS. I managed to do well for Prof Koh's part I should say. I am most confident of his section. But totally NOT confident at all for the others. BOO~

As for now, I'm gg to mug for Genetics, which is my favourite and stronger module of the 2. LOL. I hope replication comes out man. I really love regurgitating facts about it. :D I like pedigree too. A sense of satisfaction after accomplishment of the question. LOL. And due to all the training given by my JC bio teachers, I already knew how to present the chi-sq test well. I'm really thankful to them for that. (: SO I hope chi-sq comes out too! (:

It's kinda funny that only today then I started mugging for Genetics, which is tested tml. seriously, good luck to me. GOOD LUCK i mean. Just hope that my foundation is sufficient to get a pass. And what I'm mugging now can help me score. Pray..... LOL.

ok, got to get back to studying!!!!

YES, I'm unhappy. SO?

It's no big deal.

Whatever. I know. It's not a matter of that, but a matter of this.

Fuck, totally not in the mood to care much. YES, PLEASE do not talk to me. I won't entertain.

DAMN.

Idzham called just now and we talked about the paper tml. Wow, I'm impressed by his memory. LOL. And his spotting skills and all that. Haha. the funny thing is, we usually talk on the phone only during times like this! LOL. -.- But i must thank him for sharing with me what he spotted, which is sufficient enough for me, even if the questions don't appear in the end. I really appreciate him for that. As we all know, some ppl are really selfish and keep these juicy discovery to themselves, so that they can score. Well, I dont blame them. Afterall, our society IS darn competitive. So, THANKS IDZHAM! ((:

Seriously I was still quite a slack before he called. I was reading my notes, but just READING. but he really motivated me to really study. as in STUDY, not READ. I know I can do it. Afterall, memorising is my forte isn't it? I must jiayou. I must do well. I must conquer Prof GYY's Part on Microbial and Viral Diseases. I must memorise them no matter what. I will impress. Let's see. (:

Fucked up, stressed, but totally in the exam mood.

Go Jasmine! :D

I freaking slept at 4plus this morning... and guess what? a draw... 2-2. sucks! I thought we were winning when Tevez scored. Who knows... ): Nvm, the good thing is, Arsenal drew too. BUT the bad thing is, Porto's away. SHUCKS. GEEZ.

And so, I woke up at 1030 or so, prepared my stuff and went off to sch to study with them. We managed to start studying around 1pm, and fel left at 1730 or so... enxian and I stayed till 1900+. LOL.

I feel that I've been progressing very slowly in terms of studying for exams. Seems like it takes me such a long time to complete a few stack of notes. LOL. DAMN. I must buck up... ):

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Sometimes I really feel so sian when we talk about durians. I seriously dislike durians, but I dont hate durians. Durians are weird definitely and like some people, they can't accept durians too, Cos it just tastes weird. So, not everyone can accept eating durians. to some, it just stinks up your mouth. Sadly, to me, it stinks up my mouth. Because of it's "stinky" nature, it actually can stink up the whole surrounding around it. Moreover, it has thorns. that is the most irritating thing i dislike about durians. even when you carry it in a plastic bag, it can still poke you accidentally and it just hurts, so much so that you do not want to carry the durians anymore.

But when you think over, and wana try to open the durian to appreciate the weird taste of it, it pokes you again. So i'm thinking, why do i have to risk myself to open the durians, and get poked? Moreover, what's worse when the taste of the flesh isn't to your liking. It's fine, totally fine to get poked IF the flesh is nice. BUT the problem is it's not. I don't know. And sometimes I really hate it when my friend/s keep asking me to try opening the durians.

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haha. Ignore if you can't understand. No qns will be entertained, once again. thanks (:

waiting for JK's call now... LOL.. gg to sleep after talking. tired... -.- bye!

heyy all. sooooo shag la. LOL. again.the "shag" word has appeared a trillion times since i started blogging. haha. damn, but i really am tired! -.-

anyhow, I dont know why but last night i slept at 2plus. and today I woke up at 9plus. I was preparing to wake up at 12 or so. but I just can't. So, acc-ed mum for breakfast den went marketing blah blah blah. Finally got home and went school to meet enxian. Had lunch at can A den went to the same place to study :D And so, we studied from 2plus near 3 to 6.30pm or so. LOL. ok la, at least I thought that I really concentrated during this perios of studying.

So, enxian went for tuition and I went home to have dinner! Today's dishes are exceptionally good. I dont know why but I seriously love it (: hahaha. And I finally finish fixing my blogskin... SHEW. it took me quite awhile seriously... But it really looks better in IE, rather than FF.

And so, tml I'm gg to school to study again. But I might be like a walking zombie la. LOL. cos I'm watching soccer right now, thinking of sleeping after this, which will be around 5am? hopefully i can sleep still around 12 den meet them for lunch den study... tml I can study till late. probably until 8pm? or 9 even. whatever it is, JIAYOU! I seriously hope I can finish AAB 103 by this week.

Updates: Now it's half-time. Man utd 1 - Porto 1. Go manchester united!!! (: anyway, rooney scored that goal. It was a defence cock-up by porto la. but rooney was good enough to predict where, when and how fast the defender will kick the ball, so he immediately sprinted over even when the defender has not passed the ball. and he was right! caught off-guard and that's the equaliser. (:

Ok, gonna enjoy watching the match den go sleep. hehe... Looking forward to friday... I miss you.. ♥

heyy... guess what? I spent the whole yst slacking at home. -.- hahaha. DAMN, why ain't I being worried about the upcoming exams? SHUCKS.

but on a second thought, I am worried! lol. And so, I met my best friends for a study session in school today. :D I only managed to finish 2sets of my microbio notes )): gotta buck up and remember key points faster!

so we studied till 4plus before we grab a bite and attended dance at 5plus. tell you what. dance was tiring!!!!! today we did whaacking, led by yimin. it was fun and the song is so fast! LOL. -.- joc did some changes to MAD, and we're done for the day. it was seriously shag... geez... I figured out that if every dance session is like tt, following with cooling-down, i think i'll really slim down. HAHA! but i really want to, so i'm gonna cut down on carbs intake and also try to eat more vegetables and probably eat fruits before a meal or what la haha. jiayou! :D

shall study hard and according to my JC bio teacher, hardcore studying should make us lose weight, provided that we dont snack or what la. hahaha. so I shall do just that! hehe. I feel so lazy to go to school to study tml becos i feel soooo tired. I feel like staying at home to study instead. but should i just acc enxian to study? afterall, i'll be more disciplined to study when i'm in sch. haha. lol... see how la! haha.

As I was browsing through my stuff 2 days ago, I saw a letter. So familiar...

On the envelope it says "XXX to Jasmine"...

I rmbed 2 years ago when I received this letter just the day before my bdae. But I managed to see it only on my bdae. And this is how it goes:

Happy Birthday!! I have known you for quite a few months and I am really glad to know you. You are certainly a understanding and cheerful girl.. hehe .. I like. Hmm... A-levels are coming and this is going to be a crucial period. We must both focus and work no matter wat. Do not ever feel like giving up. Lastly, ar ... ar ... I want to say I really love you and hope we still can be together after A-level. Would you be willing to be my girlfriend? I will wait for your answer after A-level and any answers is acceptable to me becos I just want you to be happy. =p

XXX
Always stay happy

I must say that my ex is a nice guy, but apparently things din work out between us due to our differences in thinking and also religion. well, indeed he popped that question, which is the question many gals expect to hear before getting into a r/s with the guy. But after getting into my current r/s, I realised that actually, this question isn't really THAT important at all... What's most important is that I'm really happy now that I have him. I'm not comparing at all... cos I know everyone is different. But I just want to say, some stuff that seem so important,might not need to be that important after all... Whatever it is, what matters the most in a r/s is whether you are happy or not. ((:

Came across this phrase a few days ago - Love waits for one thing, The right moment. I totally agree with that. why do I say so? then again, another story to tell... there was this guy I used to like fore pretty long... he is 3 yrs older. and we are really really close friends. we know each other very well. too well, in fact. one day, i wrote him a letter revealing all my feelings towards him and expected a reply from him. However, there wasn't any reply despite waiting and waiting. I was sad and heartbroken.

I eventually let it go and continued being close frens with him. years later, while he was studying at somewhere away from home, he often drop me some sweet goodnite msgs and so on.. there was a nite where we started chatting and talked about the letter i wrote him years ago. he admitted that he liked me too but din reply as he was afraid it would affect my studies. and whenever he felt lonely there, I'm the first person he would think of. He revealed that he still like me (then), when i asked him if he did. well, love really waits for the right moment. and for this, too bad. everything is long past. just bringing it up to share some of my interesting stories. :D

the bottom line is: I am happy, and this is the right moment :D and I hope he feels this way too (:

anyway, after blogging so much about relationships, I shall now talk about some stuff in school. I dont exactly know how to start. oh well, okay, I just dread hearing and seeing her seriously. I CAN'T TAKE IT for goodness sake!!!!!! sigh, stop AC-ing and AA-ing pls. but that is not the main point... I know, it may seem petty and childish being mad at her just becos she ACs and ASs, but the point is it really isn't because of that ALONE. to be honest, I am one that cannot even stand a person who is just plain AC and AS.

When I first met her, I din even liked her a tweeny wheeny bit. but what angers me most is her petty, senseless and extremely tactless self, that offended many people including myself. geez. different thinking, can't even reason things out with her. I gave up talking to her seriously. DAMN. if you think i'm referring to you, den it's you. if you think i'm not, den it's not you. FYI, she's just one of my classmates in one of my module. no more questions will be entertained. thank you. (:

and so, today JK and I went out on our first date as official bgfs. lol.. haha sounds funny. well, it feels the same, just SLIGHTLY different. I guess it's becos i'm happier? ((: went to HK cafe after not gg there for quite some time. we actually stayed there for quite some time before moving our lazy asses. haha. we watched "shinjuku incident" at the grand cathay. haha, well quite ok la. but I felt that it was quite draggy cos I was kinda like waiting for it to end... -.- JK said it didn't link that well but the ending is quite dramatic... quite true. LOL. but i think overall it's ok la. ((: had dinner at xin yuan ji again! haha. suddenly miss amoy's street fish beehoon again. We must go back there to eat one day (: went esplanade and tt calls for the day! woots... :D

ahhh, feels better thrashing out stuff here :D eeyur... fel can't be online today ))): hope tml she can come online! den we can chat hehe.. alright, it has been a long day, and definitely a super long post too! hahaha. off to bed. tata! :D

Finally...

IT'S OVER... AED 104, ALS 101 are OVER! and bio lects are OVER. and now I can finally concentrate on my bio modules for the examinations. great!

And so, today around 10 of my DF mates and I went to nydc at holland village together with Carol. Someone was drunk when he was at WALAWALA with his friends. In the end, chris, xh and I stayed there to take care of him. and we only managed to leave at around 1130pm. and so, I reached home about less than an hour ago.

I am seriously very sad to see him so sad. I almost wanted to cry. I know, I understand his pain, and his feelings. but I cant do anything but to be there to help him. chris is really a great friend, he was by his side throughout. He kept asking me to go home, when I actually explained to him several times I have not enought cash to cab back alone and I do not know how to bus back. and he still kept continuing to ask me go home. I felt so pissed, but then again, he was drunk... I just felt useless that I wasn't of much help, at least to him. whatever, I just hope he picks himself up soon. ((:

today seem like the suckiest day for many of us. for him, her and me... ))): I dont know why, but sometimes, girls like me, we just need some confirmation, some reassurance. I'm tired of thinking and thinking. I dont even know what i'm talking about over here. but i'm just feeling lousy that's for sure. as for her, I hope that you can have a HTHT with him and let him know your thoughts about it. Hope he pays more attention to your feelings or so... (:

It was bad that today i kept having fainting spells, duno what is seriously wrong with me... sigh. but i guess it's due to insufficient sleep... ):

Probably i should talk about my ex in my next entry or what huh... blog about some stuff we shared in the past. but right now i'm so tired that i'm gg to rest... gd nite.. ):