He says he's hurt by whatever I have said here. And so, I've deleted all those posts.

Those few days that passed were torturous. Of cos today was the worst. Cos... Finally, he said it.

Mum cooked pork belly today. and then I remembered I told him that if my mum cooks it, I will ask him over to try it. But now I can't. I should not disturb him at all, even if anything happens. I should give him time, alone. But I'm scared my mum will ask for the next few days - where is he, why didn't he come. Sigh. I think I need to go out tml or something. And
next week too. Perhaps just bluff that I'm out with him, then she wont ask and suspect something happened. =/

My gastric is hurting like fuck. ): I'm just too stubborn la, can't help. But since my gastric is alr so screwed up, it doesn't matter if i skip a meal or 2 la~ It was a great time spent during school experience, cos I got to know a bunch of really good people. as for SCHOOL experience itself, I've nothing much to say about it.

Anyway I realised physical hurt really lightens emotional heartaches. And it's really true, cos Roby says so too. LOL. she tried punching the wall too, but what's most hardcore about her is that she ran on a threadmill for 2 hours when she was sooo angry that time. no way for me, tt was why i punch the wall instead. want me to workout as in run/jog? over my dead body. Well, physical hurt helps somehow.. at least it stops you from crying. cos it's painful. But you are "engrossed" in the pain, instead of the emotional heartache, so much so that you will actually stop crying. But that's if you continuously punch the wall la. And it makes you tired cos you're exerting force. but once i stop punching, I start crying again, so I was tired of punching and i gave up. eventually I just cried to sleep, somehow. morning there was still abit of blue-black. but now it's fine alr. and it doesn't hurt anymore. amazing...

what's most annoying is that i finally managed to sleep around 1am, but i duno what the fuck is wrong that made me wake up at 3am! And worse still, I can't sleep after that. And from there, I was awake all the way until I went sch and came back. I'm gonna sleep after I finish this.

I really want to see him so badly. I guess on my side, this is firstly the reason why in the first place I reacted strongly to those incidents. actually I don't really know why too. but.. does he miss me? does he want to see me too? I'm very scared that when he's done with his time alone, I will be afraid to face him )):

YO!

I'm feeling really sleepy... Geez...

Anyway, yst was performance day. It was Nanyang Arts Fest. It kinda
happened suddenly and soon after, it was over. LOL. But I really enjoyed
myself. (:

I bought a pair of ambigram whistles. hahaha. I think it looks cool. :D

Goodness, I think I'm not blogging in sequence. See, I'm really sleepy!!!

Ok, after the performance, we went to the "zhi char" opp my house... The
2 Chris-es, Fel, Enxian, Jeff, Yanli, Meifeng, Kings, Sarah, Joshua, Faizal,
Keith and I were there. Faizal left pretty soon cos he had a friendly match
at the CC. Oh ya! Sarah and Joshua are Christina's church mates. oh man,
they're really fun ppl. I think i lost a few kilos off my abs when I was with
them yst. I just can't stop laughing. LOL. I also talked to Keith as he was
sitting beside me. I seriously didn't know he's studying to be a financial
planner. lol...

After dinner, Keith, Jeff and Kings left for hall while the rest proceeded to a
park or something near Chris's house. I love it there cos it's so windy. -.-
Played games that made us laughed and laughed non-stop... hahaha. near
the end, we ended up dancing. hahaha. -.-" Then we went off at 10plus...

Today I had a hard time cleaning the bar counter. cos I was alone doing it,
I had to take one object and climb down the ladder, then climb up again and
take the next object and so on.... This had to go on until all the stuff is out.
Then I had to use all my might to clean the glass... You know... It's not easy
to clean glass. To summarise it, It was damn tiring...

then, I went for my FTT. guess what? I failed! DAMN IT. geez......................
I'm so sian la. cos it's a waste of time. I can't retake the test immediately. ):
well, I booked my next FTT on the 26th of Feb. urgh!

alright, tml before gg to sch, I'm acc jk for lunch! :D gleeful hahaha.....