This week finally arrived after a long wait.

Yes, after 2months plus, the video is finally done. Seriously, THANKS to all of them who appeared in the video. I'm glad it's done up =) I don't know why but I never get sick of watching the video again and again although it's 20++ minutes long. =/ *haha*

I just hope that he's happy. =)

Ok, i'm convinced that I really lost quite abit of weight. LOL. almost everyone is telling me that. even my mum who always complain that i'm fat says that i lost weight too. ok, good. Hope it continues on this way. Eating less, definitely. but duno why. since then, I dont really get hungry that easily anymore. =/ perhaps last week i ate slightly more. cos it was PMS. -.- today it finally came. right on the dot. this means more blemishes on my face, more bloati-ness, and definitely explains why my mood swings like a whatever for the past few days especially. =/

However, recently i feel very weird. =/ keep having fainting spells. just take yst for example. I experienced that like quite a few times. one when i was walking towards the drink stall. two was when i was at vivo collecting the cake and i had to hold onto the railings while queuing for cab. BOO~ it's freaking scary to be there alone when these happens. suddenly a gush of duno what, then giddy giddy, feel pukey, feel abit of queaziness in the stomach, fingers getting cold.. watever. pray hard that it's perhaps just due to lack of sleep/water. jas tan said could be due to protein deficiency. i don't think mine is that case la. lol. i'm a meat lover. LOL. =)

alright. since i'm so tired and getting all these weird stuff. I should perhaps sleep earlier tonight. =) There's bio lab session tml. grgghhhh. I hate lab sessions. -.- and that's my only lesson for the day. oh no, i must refrain myself from shopping with jastan and joc again! I'm sure i will :D Okay, shall recharge my energy by sleeping like a pig and stop thinking too much (hopefully)! Dance tml. cheers. =)

I thought that from this heartache I could escape

But I fronted long enough to know

There ain't no way

And today

I'm officially missing you.

-I don't care if it's official or not, I still do.-

Something is wrong with my body =( withdrawal symptoms? Perhaps...

Timbre on Monday. I'm so gonna drink my fill. DON'T CARE liao! :D

Thank YOU for being so comforting

Thank You for being there for me

Thank you for treating me the drink but so sorry I threw everything up =/

Really appreciate it. =)

I looked thru some of my msn history just now and realised so much has changed in just a short period of less than a year. Time flies, people may change, lots of incidents happen. Those that you wished for, might not have happened but life is always unexpected. all these ranges from friendship, to kinship, to relationships.

Felt really sad reading those msn history again. reminds me of every single thing that happened in the past. the good, as well as the bad. sometimes you can't help but ask yourself, "why did things even turn out this way?". Sometimes i wonder if I'm expecting too much, taking things too easily, hoping that it will be exactly like what you thought it would be. Is it true that when you expect less, the chances of disappointment is much less? Or maybe for certain people with certain character, I shouldn't even expect anything? But the point is, am I really expecting too much?

What is happiness?

I had crabs for dinner! Yummy =)) hehe. I love crabs.. Chilli crabs in particular. but today dad just prepared steamed crab, equally nice :D

2 small pieces of crab left. LOL. most are GONE. hahaha.

these are my leftovers from eating the crabs! haha. i'm such a clean eater right? =)) i dont waste good food =)

posing for fun. LOL!!!!! nothing better to do. hahaha.

anyway, just had an argument with someone. sigh. dont understand why some ppl always choose to avoid issues and dare not face the music. cowardice mentality. these kinda ppl are irritating. and definitely get on my nerves. forget it.

so bored.... no one is updating their blogs =( even so, i dont think anyone is reading when i actually update quite frequently? LOL. but the point is it's really sian when i visit my friends' blogs and it's the same thing time and time again. -.-

i'm bored, seriously bored. -.- gotta go prepare soon. =)

i hope mum allows me to go taiwan at the end of the year or the beginning of next year =)) and of cos movie marathons and such. I think I should be able to do so. hehe.

I realised recently i have not been as lok-kok as previous 2 sems. previously, i really DO NOT CARE, and wear just some bball pants and a tee plus flip-flops and off i go to school. haha. but it was really comfortable. i think i should go back to that soon. LOL. =)

whatever, i dont know what i'm talking about too. really random and no linkage between each point. -.- gotta go.. =))

once again, i have been lazy to blog. =/ as you can see, I've changed my blogskin once again! Cos i'm sick and tired of the previous one. =/ I just want a simple skin will do. LOL. School's as usual. i'm still motivated to study hard, no worries about that. =) attended the first lecture by SLum in Sem 2. He is still as hilarious and ghey as before. =/ but he's definitely cute in his own way. hahaha. but lectures are definitely different now without Dear with me. hmm. actually to think of it, we both only started to really know each other at the start of the year, which is January. But it really feels that we knew each other for a long time and knew each other well. ok, at least that's what I think. =/and we got together in June. So theoretically speaking, we know each other for around 5-6months before getting together, eh? hmm..

recently i have been very tired too, cos of dance. schedule is quite hectic. =/ quite a few choreos to rmb. but i think i will be able to cope. sigh but i will be 1 hour late for next tues' session. that sucks big time. it really sucks to not know anything when you step in. =( but whatever, i cant skip my lecture anyway... or infact, it is Dear who DON'T ALLOW me to skip my lecture. =/ sigh... And yst we had our first official session with the freshies, led by Carol. i would say it's quite tough for them, or at least for those really really new to dance. =/ just hope that they would stay... but anyway, i like yst's choreo. =) and today is the beginners' class by WILLY!!!!!!!! I'm his big fan ok. LOL. i simply love his sessions =)) he's fantastic hehe. looking forward to the next session by him =)

anyway, regarding my hair. hmm. some say look like ahlian, some say look very punk-ish, mostly say "i like ur hair!", "nice hair!" etc etc.. to think that i actually kinda scared that my mum would tell me off in "fear" that my hair is too bright for her preference. cos she did not say anything when she first saw it. lol. and she kept touching my hair. -.- and my elder bro being my elder bro (who will never say good things about me) was saying that my hair sucks. my mum actually stood up for me and said my hair was nice. hahaha. and so my "fears" were cast aside. LOL. she actually DO like my hair. haha. =)

I'm feeling tired. I guess I should sleep soon. =/ there's like a 1-hour class tml. sian~ gdnite..

-maybe i should start calling you bitch again-

i finally thought of the right words to describe how i feel towards this person.

- it's 0338hr -

It's nearing... But seriously I'm not excited at all. Sometimes you just feel that you're all alone in this world. Nobody understands you. Yes, nobody but only you. As much as you wana convey your feelings and thoughts to the other party, there is still a certain level of difficulty to fully explain the situation and get the person to understand what you're going through. I've seen this through. Yes, no one can fully understand. What I fear most is not not having someone there to listen to me pour my sorrows, but one that cannot understand what you are feeling. more often, there's this kinda ridiculous kinda thing that you might wana talk to the other party about. yes, it may sound ridiculous to the other party and we may feel that the person will find it ridiculous. we may tell the person how ridiculous you think yourself are. but deep down, deep inside, you know. only you understand yourself that it is not ridiculous at all. It's just that there is only this much you can say, and only this much the other party can understand.

this is the most fucked-up moment I've ever had. like what my bro names them - airborne commando cockroaches. WHY THE FUCK must these disgusting insects exist? I was happily changing newspapers for JJ when suddenly some disgusting brownish thing just flew above my head. my reaction? drop everything and run! I peeped into the kitchen and saw that it was a cockroach! knnccb! it's like tmd-fucking HUMONGOUS. I asked my mum to kill it, cos she's the only one in the family that's not afraid of it. BUT she refused! can you imagine how fucking pissed i am? I just reached home not long ago (12plus) cos i acc-ed her for supper downstairs. I have not yet bathed, have not yet peed, have not yet washed my face. I quickly ran into my room, fearing that it will fly right into my face. I called my mum on the phone and she still refused to kill it. i get even more pissed off when she decided not to.

and here i am, now 4.27am, sitting right infront of the com, smelly and oily. I still have not bathed, washed my face or peed. i have to hold my pee and this really really sucks. she knows i'm not feeling well and i have not done all these. and she still do not wana help me. she even switched off her phone, good game. now i just wish that i faint and die right here. den she'll definitely regret not killing the cockroach, and for switching off her phone. but seriously i think i have a high chance of fainting. i tried sleeping but i can't cos i feel very "dirty" to sleep. and i kept coughing like fuck but i don't dare to drink water cos i'm afraid it will make me feel like peeing even more. and now, my head is spinning. but i can't sleep. seriously this sucks. i dont even feel like gg for the OG outing tml anymore. cos i know that stupid disgusting thing will still be there. seriously now i'm more pissed at my mum than that fucking cockroach. I'm so gg to ignore her tml, FOR SURE. i can't imagine i cried becos i feel so helpless.

if you're gg to say "come on, it's only a cockroach", den please shut up unless you're gg to help me get rid of it. CHRIS, i seriously miss and need you ): (not that way obviously) I think after today, my kidneys, bladder, lungs, brain, skin are going to be so damaged. and for sure, i'm not gg to recover well. ): guess i'll be a sick birthday girl when the day comes. this sucks but seriously i'm not excited about it. =/ but still wana thanks my youngest bro's ex for giving me a present in advance. it's really sweet of her seriously. it totally took me off guard and i'm touched but her actions.

ok now, let's pray that i faint and die here as soon as possible. i can't stand this! i'm so "sticky" and my bladder is bursting! KNNCBB! this is my worst day EVER. NB!

My fingers are still hurting )):

Was supposed to meet Val today but she couldn't make it at the last minute ): next time perhaps... But I'm meeting ZY tml. gonna walk around like nobody's business. I really hope that I don't spend! -.- except for lunch la... hmm..

Ok, recently I have not been reading! )): Well, at least I know my time wasn't wasted. hehe. I'm working on the project still. I will definitely read after that. (:

Yst was my brother's (jeremy) birthday and the pics are available on my fb. haha. his gf was here and dear was here too. ((: nothing much actually. just a simple birthday with a cake and birthday song. haha. this time i really do not know wat to get for him so i just gave him an angpao. haha. and guess what? then today i got MY angpao.... LOL! -.-

anyway, dear's away for around 2 days... he went for chalet. I'm missing him definitely )): haha. but hope he enjoys himself there (: still thinking if i should go for badminton on friday... It's been so long since i've played.. hahaha. I might become some laughing stock. -.-

I'm just glad that things are fine now :D Let's just hope that the talks that we had, made us understand better why some things happened that way. Whatever it is, it just feels like our relationship is going stronger. I seriously enjoy every moment spent with you. I really hope you are The One. The one to have and hold with all my heart and soul, who stays around through all my ups and downs ((: I love you ((:

You are The Sun

Happiness, Content, Joy.

The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.

Young, healthy, new, fresh. The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.

The Sun is ruled by the Sun, of course. This is the light that comes after the long dark night, Apollo to the Moon's Diana. A positive card, it promises you your day in the sun. Glory, gain, triumph, pleasure, truth, success. As the moon symbolized inspiration from the unconscious, from dreams, this card symbolizes discoveries made fully consciousness and wide awake. You have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

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I did this AGES ago and just found it lying in my com. So might as well just post it. Well, I may have already posted it. HAHA can't remember. Whatever. Anyway, I started my week at Bro's school. It was sian. LOL. But it's a good thing we weren't assigned seats. Just a room for all of us will do (:

Ok anyway! I've changed my blogskin. DUH. It's so black and pink. -.- like the french manicure I always do. HAHA. seems like the exact shade. -.- I don't know what happened to the twitter, why isit aligned right. cos i tried, but i just can't fix it. whatever, just make do with it. HAHA. and i dont know what happened to the credits too... -.- let it just junk up tgt then. LOL.

It just feels weird this week. probably because there's no dance? BOO~ I'm looking forward to dance... )): Actually I dont really know what to blog about too... I'm just kinda bored. I have other stuff to blog about too. But as for everyday happenings, there's only this much I can say...

I really thought he disliked me soooo much. But after such a long time I finally plucked up the courage and showed some concern during his low times... His actions kinda reciprocated and made me feel happy that he actually treats me as a friend ((: I just hope that he can move on, no matter how hard and long it will take.

why is it that those that you don't expect will shower you with care be the ones that show care and concern? while those that are supposed to care for you, do not show you the "required" amount of care? am i too demanding? ):

I feel that I shouldn't compare... But why? why does one person care more than the other? why? ): shouldn't it be the other way round? it's hurting me badly... it's killing me... I keep asking "why" but never was there an answer that could shut me up. Is it supposed to hurt this much?

I'm drained too. I'm tired.. and I hope I can hide somewhere... ))):

If only blogspot has password-protected post...

):

I read my previous posts and realised that so much has happened, and so much has changed. Fate is such fascinating thing. Lots of twists and turns in life, things that happened without any expectation of it. And of cos people change too. Or perhaps people didn't change. It's just that you didn't know the person well enough although you already thought you did very well. Yes I feel depressed, but SO? Can't do much about it. Things change, and we must learn to accept changes.

Anyway, I'm bored of staying at home. I've been home on thurs and fri. BOO~ nothing to do. So later I'm going out. Meeting JK for coffee. Duno what to say also. Hmm. Anyway, Sims 3 is fun! Last night I had fun playing. Hehe. And unknowingly, I played till damn late. chatted with fel for awhile den went to bed at 3plus. SHAG.

Gonna have dinner with dear's family tml. Wonder how it will go. LOL.

OK, gonna catch my SHUANG ZI XING already. bye.

Are promises meant to be broken?

Why like that??

After looking back at XXX's previous posts since months ago, an indescribable feeling came over me. SIGH. There are so many things in life that you just can't put a finger to it.

Things are indeed un-expectable. That's what makes life interesting...

There's this sudden urge of writing a metaphorical post, but I'm tired, I'm lazy, to think of how I should go about doing it, so that most people won't be able to decipher what my points are.

This woman had a miscarriage, and was afraid and unwilling to try for another child again, in fear of a miscarriage again. It is difficult indeed, but she managed to overcome her fears and gave birth eventually. However, being pregnant is one thing, but being a mum is a totally different thing. She tries her best to give whatever she could, or at least she felt she gave her best at being a mum. Post-natal depression may have made her seem like a bad mother/wife, but it's definitely not what she wants. It just cannot be controlled. But what I know is that, she tries her best. Whenever her baby cries, she asks herself "what is it about her that is not good enough? Why is baby crying? what should i do to stop baby from crying?", or tells herself that it must be her fault that things have to be like that.

I feel so tired, and I'm turning in now. nites...

I know it must be me. Ok, I won't ask. But where's the honesty we promised? Since so, I won't breathe a word too. Can't believe certain things mentioned. Cos I thought love should be something where I love you for who you are, but not to make you become someone I want you to be. Whatever, I'm tired. And I'm going to sleep.

Recently I have been spending so much time with dear that I don't exactly know what to say about it. LOL. But he's going JB tomorrow. ): Just for the day that's all (: I'll be going to swim! hopefully i wake up early and go swim early, cos there's so little people there in the morning. (:

Anyway, I bought heels AGAIN. LOL! but it's soooooo freaking comfortable though it's about 10cm tall. OK, maybe not FREAKING comfortable, but it's quite comfortable just that it's a little tight at the front. LOL. It's only 30plus! so it's quite cheap (: Oh no oh no, I'm buying too many shoes. -.-

I'm blogging while waiting for shuang zi xing to load, and waiting for dear to finish blogging. LOL. I'm hungry. should i eat? should i cook maggi mee? BOO~ how how how! Ok, better not. LOL. -.-

My youngest bro came home telling me that his teachers approached him, telling him that I'll be going to their school. -.- OH MY GOD seriously. I thought they will only know i'm his sister when they see me in person, cos i've been to his school several times becos of him. -.- BUT who knows, they know i'm his sister, just by looking at my name. this is freaky... I need to prepare myself for a truckload of complaints about my brother. Good Luck to me. LOL!

I realised I look very tired. esp recently. boo~ looking tired = ugly. I better sleep ALOT. I don't know why but sometimes i just can't continue sleeping in though I know I need more sleep than that. Gees. And recently I'm spending alot on make-up and beauty products. GEES. I'm becoming more and more woman. Not to say that I wasn't lady enough. I think I was. Just that now I'm getting more and more conscious. LOL.

I feel so bored at home. sigh. feel like playing games, but there isn't any that I'm interested in. Perhaps just some FB games? but I get sick of them in a while. Perhaps I should REALLY play sims 3. HAHA. PERHAPS la~ I'm sure Dear is gonna pray that I don't want to play, so that I won't have to "confiscate" his sims 3. LOL. haha.

Ok, shuang zi xing is done loading. tata (:

I'm so tired! LOL. Thurs morning I went to Redhill together with my mum and youngest bro to bring my grandma to the doctor. Seriously I hate the measures taken at the polyclinic over there. It's fucked up. I have sore throat and they gave me a mask and allowed me to go in. When I went in, the counter staff said I wasn't supposed to be in there. So irritating! They can't even come to a consensus among the few staff themselves. It's like what the fuck seriously. At least if ALL of them were freaking sure of their procedures, I would have nothing to say. But it's otherwise! And they said that I can only go in if I'm seeing the doctor. How practical huh?

Went to my grandma's house for awhile and looked at some of our young photos. Haha. Oh my god, it's so vintage. I've uploaded them onto FB, together with some that I have taken from the album at home. LOL. Nice. (: Soon after, I quickly went back then met enxian for lunch. Went over to his place and finally set off for The Cathay. :D We were going to watch Tansformers. And so, we met up with a few of his friends for dinner and caught the movie together. His friends are fun people. Haha. The way they talk and stuff, makes me laugh instead of those so-stern conversations that some people might have. It's great knowing them really (: Now, the movie. BOO~ IT'S SO DRAGGY~ Enxian slept. -.- and I was trying very hard to keep my eyes opened. But I still like the movie somehow. Maybe 3stars? LOL. I guess if I was more awake, I wouldn't have been nodding off every now and then. Haha. We were just tired... lol.

Friday was a boring day. At home all the while. Boo~ I need to pack my room I guess. Can't stand it being messy. Don't know if I will be going out tomorrow. But my stomach is feeling weird ): Went to the toilet a few times already. ))))))):

I must remember to call up the instructor for lessons! GEES. please remember!!!

I love you (: